Productive

Yesterday I spent most of the day making gifts for my friend’s upcoming bachelorette party! She asked me to be her maid of honor so I decided to take on making all the goody bags for the party and it’s super fun!

I started my new job at the end of last week and I am feeling very good about this company and office I will be working for! As silly as it may sound, I am excited to have my own little desk/office area and I want to decorate it all cute LOL. It really is the little things.

I keep telling myself I am going to make fitness a priority in my life, so I am going to. I need to work on weight lifting and toning my body; I also want to be stronger in general. I should get working on it while I’m young and make it a habit so life isn’t so hard later in life (going up stairs, going on long walks, etc.) I am on my period right now so I’ve been exhausted, but I can at least stretch and do some yoga.

I am over the cold weather/snow already, I just want it to be nice outside again so I can go on walks regularly and just enjoy the sunshine. Hopefully winter just flies by!

Irritable (WARNING: strong language)

I’ve been letting my emotions and judgements get the better of me these past couple days and I am honestly upset with myself. I’ve been rude and snippy towards my boyfriend who has done nothing wrong, all because I’m aggravated with a friend when I probably don’t even need to be!

I feel like an asshole being irritated with my friend because I’ve been making assumptions due to the lack of communication which has in turn just made me mad when I don’t even know if I have anything to be mad about!

I did some reflecting yesterday after a conversation with my boyfriend, because I wanted to figure out when my attitude went bad, and I pin-pointed it back to when my dress for my friend’s wedding arrived in the mail. The reason I got so upset is because I may not even need or be able to wear this dress as my friend may be cancelling the ceremony.

In reality, I am allowed to have feelings and be upset and angry, but why am I doing that? The coronavirus is around which obviously has made event planning a million times harder, and things are ever changing when it comes to the lockdowns. She is the one having to plan a wedding during all of this, I should be sympathetic towards her (which I am now). I am thankful that I do not have to be dealing with all of that stress right now.

Since now I probably sound like a total bitch I can explain why I was angry about her possibly cancelling the ceremony. Less than two months ago we were discussing everyone ordering their dresses for the bridal party, and she was overwhelmed and wanted someone else to take it over, so I did without any hesitation! I talked with one of the other bridesmaids and figured out how we all have to order so that it is guaranteed all our dresses are the same exact color, and we picked a date to order!

I informed the bride of when we were all ordering, and we did so as planned. The reason I was upset is because literally two weeks after we ordered is when the bride told me that they’re likely just doing a courthouse wedding and a small celebration afterwards. I was upset because I had just taken this over, got it all done for her, and I felt like she hadn’t been communicating and just dropped this on me. Not to mention I could definitely use that $90 back, but it’s whatever.

For all I know, they didn’t have that decision in their mind back when we placed the order, and that is why I am upset with myself for letting it get me so angry to the point that I was taking it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it. I need to work on being less judgmental and catching/stopping myself when I’m making assumptions. I mean, we all know what they say about assumptions…