Stressed, but blessed

On Thursday night I hit a patch of icy snow in my car which caused it to veer out of control and my tire went off the road and the control arm snapped. Luckily no airbags deployed and I was the only one involved and I am not injured. My car, however, has over $7000 of damage (thank goodness for insurance).

Today my cat woke my boyfriend and I up and he was acting weird, and he had thrown up twice. I ended up taking him into the vet because last time I thought something was wrong it escalated fast and he had high kidney counts and a urinary blockage. This time around his PH levels in his urine are high, but kidney levels are normal. He does have a urinary blockage again, but he’s doing better and we will just have him on a prescription diet the rest of his life. We will be able to bring him home tomorrow if all goes as planned.

So far this year has taken an interesting turn, but I am truly blessed that everyone is okay. Of course my pockets are hurting a bit (the vet bill is over $1000), but money is just money, and there are more important things to stress about. Luckily, I will be starting my new job soon and will be making more money so I can pay off my credit card again ASAP.

I’m trying to keep positive spirits with everything being thrown my way, but I do have my moments where it’s all a bit overwhelming. I just remind myself that we’re all human, I am allowed to feel that way.

Feeling good (accidental late draft post)

I have a job interview coming up Monday morning for a manager position at a dental office. I have experience and am very hopeful about this opportunity; they told me via email that they are impressed with my experience which is a good sign, right?!

Also what’s good is at my current job we hit all our numbers for last month so we ended up getting a nice bonus this month, which I used part of to order my Easy Press so I can start making shirts/sweatshirts with my Cricut. I also treated myself to a manicure today so that felt great!

One of my old coworkers is coming over to buy a shaker bottle from me! I bought some cute ones from Walmart and used my Cricut and permanent vinyl to add the phrase “Gym & Tonic” and people love them! (I’ll add the photo to this blog post). I’m thinking of more ideas for projects with Valentine’s day coming up!

How’s everyone’s weekend going?

Late night post

Changes may be coming, which is quite fitting for a new year. I had a phone interview for a new job last week and am going to be setting up an in person interview sometime this week! It would be for more pay and more responsibilities, and I am feeling very hopeful. The woman who interviewed me on the phone told me she was impressed with my experience, so we will see!

I’ve been having fun crafting still! I slowed down a bit since the holidays just ended, but I already have ideas ready for some (near) future projects! I’ve had some supportive friends order from me, and it honestly is such a nice feeling. I appreciate all of my friends and family, and their support of my crafting page.

I haven’t really come up with a “new years resolution,” but I am working on patience and finding inner peace. I am learning how to focus on the positive and be kinder to myself, which in turn should help me be kinder to others; not that I am mean to others, I just find myself judging others more than I’d like to admit.

Self-reflection is important if you want to improve and progress in life, but sometimes it can be a hard pill to swallow.

Positive thoughts = positive outcomes (hopefully)

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people manifest great things into their lives and I’ve been trying to do the same. I still need to make my vision board but I am debating getting a new printer and getting printable vinyl or just buying magazines and finding pictures like I used to as a teenager LOL.

I know that I have a purpose, and I don’t know 100% what it is yet, but I know that I like to bring people joy and I want more people to feel in control of their emotions and I feel like I need to help people in some way. Granted, I am nowhere near perfect and I still breakdown and have bad days, and I will always be working to improve myself; but in reality that is everyone, we’re all human.

We need to stop being so hard on ourselves and be more encouraging, as we are to our loved ones! We have no problem telling others that “everything will be okay” and “nobody is perfect, don’t be too hard on yourself,” but we can’t seem to cut ourselves the same slack. Why not?! It is important to have goals and high expectations in yourself, but that doesn’t mean you have to hate on yourself the whole way there!

I’ve been having fun and also getting discouraged with my cricut. I see other people doing awesome projects of much higher skill level, and I see projects where I don’t have the materials I need right now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to get them in the future! And I will always be able to learn these new skills that I am seeing! I just need to remember to be patient and kind with myself, as we all should be with ourselves.

Manifest it

Today was self-care Sunday which mainly included being lazy around the house and playing with my cricut! I made a few small projects and I am so impressed with how easy this is to use! This is going to make Christmas so fun this year!

I am going to meet up with an old coworker/friend sometime soon so she can give me some old magazines so I can have some images for my vision board that I’d like to create! I want to start manifesting some greatness into my life, and what better way to start than getting a little crafty!

I want the board to have different themes in different parts of it such as a part for health/wellness and a part for wealth/financial goals, and I definitely want to include some inspirational mantras that I will constantly read. Some people swear they benefit from vision boards, and honestly it couldn’t hurt to try! Not to mention it’ll just be fun to create!

Below I’ll post the first project I made today, which is clearly not perfect, but please don’t judge and do as it says! LOL

November

As we get closer and closer to the end of the year, I can’t help but realize all the stuff I didn’t do and could have been doing during the quarantine periods. Then again, I was lucky enough to be able to continue working full-time so it’s not like I magically had more time on my hands rather than the lack of social life.

I am not going to use this time to sulk and think about what I could have done, instead I want to focus on what I can do now and what I want to work on. As I had said in my last post I am thinking about investing in a cricut and dedicating time to crafts and projects. Ideally I would like to be able to eventually profit off of the products I make, but at the same time I am just looking forward to being able to make friends and family personalized gifts.

I don’t want to get too overwhelmed with everything so I am trying to plan out what I can and I’ve been writing notes with ideas of what I want to do; if I can keep organized that will make this much easier overall, plus I always feel better when things are in some sort of order.

I’m working hard to focus on me and what I can do for present and future self, and this also includes fitness. I really want to make sure I get to the gym more and/or work out at home more as there’s no excuses with the time that we have. I want to be more toned and fit and the only way to improve that is to start working on it.

On that note I’m gonna get myself out of this bed and I’m going to do some stretching before I head off to work.

Vices

I’ve been shopping/spending money on myself lately, which feels great but at the same time I know I shouldn’t be. I’ve been using my credit card on expenses that have been coming up with the upcoming weddings and also car stuff, so since I’m already using it I decide to keep going and I end up at Ulta or Walmart (yes, I love buying stuff at Walmart) and I feel so guilty after.

I am working full time, but I did take a pay decrease when I left my last job. I do want to say that I am 100x happier and in a better place mentally at this new job. I would never go back to such a toxic environment/boss, and I’d rather have this (self-inflicted) “money stress” than feel how I did at that job.

I will say that one good thing is I do not ignore the issue. I am aware of my credit card balance and make it a priority to pay it every single time I get paid. I really do need to cut back on habits such as getting my nails done and coffee, but I also justify those things with the fact that they make me happy and this year has been rough on everyone.

I would like to make more money, and I have been thinking about ways I can do that. I am thinking about investing in a Cricut (once I pay my credit card down) and possibly making an Etsy shop once I have enough practice and am confident with my projects. I also love the idea of being able to make personalized gifts for people for birthdays and holidays.

This is a super late post on a Monday night and I’m exhausted so I’m going to end this now. I need to put a reminder back in my phone to go off on Sundays to blog because I keep getting so busy and forgetting. Anyways, goodnight.

“Live like the flowers”

Today I got a couple new tattoos which has of course left me feeling very happy! I love getting tattoos, and the best part was I had a gift certificate which was able to cover everything! I got a floral half moon on my back, and I got the quote “live like the flowers” on my collar bone.

The quote has a few inspirations, but overall the meaning behind it is to just be. There’s a quote from Zen shin that reads: “a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it; it just blooms.” I read that quote years ago and it always sat with me. As I’ve grown older I’ve cared less and less about what others think of me, and now I rarely compare myself to others.

There’s another quote I read that was “live like flowers; wild, beautiful and drenched in sunlight.” Overall I’ve always felt more at home in nature; I love going on walks or just floating in the water. As a kid I was always climbing different trees around the apartments that I grew up in, and now I enjoy hiking when I can and just walking through the park.

Other quotes about flowers touch on the fact that when a flower isn’t blooming you don’t throw it away, you change the environment and/or the way in which you care for the flower. If you water the flower and make sure it gets proper sunlight and nutrients, the flower typically will bloom beautifully. Taking that knowledge and applying to yourself as a human can make a world of a difference in the way in which we “bloom.”

Another day

Happy Monday! I am writing this from the break room at work as I was very busy yesterday and was too exhausted to post last night. This morning I was organizing ordering the bridesmaids dresses for my friends wedding in March as I am maid of honor, so that is why I didn’t post this morning.

Life has been busy which is good. I’m finally getting my car fixed after it was hit in July, so I’m driving around a 2020 Nissan Altima as my rental car for now. It’s a nice car but I definitely prefer my 2020 Sonata, which I should have back this week! My friend visited from WI this weekend and we went out to the bar which was nice and normal feeling.

Yesterday my friend had a “drive-by” baby shower as times are weird, but honestly I prefer those for baby showers because then you don’t have to sit there for hours watching them open all the gifts LOL. I feel like even when all this is over I’d prefer to do a drive-by baby shower in the future.

Speaking of which, my boyfriend and I revisited our plans/goals and we are going to try to start having children in a couple of years. We do still want to be married first, and we are currently not engaged, but our wedding plan is to elope in Aruba and we’ve already looked into a lot of it, so we are thinking the planning shouldn’t be too bad.

For the next couple years I plan to continue to work on my mental health. I am planning to wean off of my Cymbalta come Spring as I don’t want to risk coming off right into the winter months, but I’d like to not be on any prescriptions during pregnancy even if they are deemed to be “safe.” I’m still practicing the art of calmness and patience, and I know I will be doing that for the rest of my life, but I want to really dive into that over the next couple years to help prepare for motherhood.

Any tips/tricks/advice would be helpful! I love yoga but have been lacking at practicing, and I want to try meditation again as I feel like I’m at a better place now mentally that I was when I tried it before. I will keep you posted on that!

Early Sunday Morning

This morning I was wide awake at 7am, and I went to bed after midnight so I am not entirely sure why, but I used this morning to put together a little lame crafty card for a friend as I feel she may need a pick me up. I’m terrible about reaching out to friends lately, but I’m trying to get better.

Fall has arrived which makes me very happy! I already started decorating the house because I think it will help prevent me from falling into my seasonal depression at least for now, as I’m not trying to mix together my pandemic depression and my seasonal depression; I mean I can only handle so much.

I feel that I’ve been able to do a lot of self-reflecting during this year and I honestly do feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself and I am really trying to be more grateful and express more love to those who are important to me. Life is so short and our time is never guaranteed, and I am trying to apply that to everyday life, but in a healthy way, not an anxious way.

Today I am hoping to pick up a good book or two from Barnes and Noble, and very likely a nice candle from Bath & Body Works. I can’t spend too much money right now so I have to keep that in mind when I go, but I really want to find a book on Empaths. I’m not looking for one in particular but rather seeing if any look interesting and/or beneficial to me.

Maybe I’ll post later with an update, but until that possible “later” I want to share a peak into my spooky house!