Giving Grace

I did so well about starting my morning routine on Monday, but I haven’t been getting to bed early enough and that made it harder yesterday and today. Today I am up earlier than I was yesterday and I am here writing in my blog, so I count that as a victory!

Normally I am super hard on myself, but I am actively working on trying to give myself more grace and be the friend to me that I am to others. I have no problem reminding friends that we’re all human and it’s okay to deviate from plans or make mistakes, as long as we learn and grow, so why wouldn’t I deserve that same treatment?

Do I wish I would have stayed more consistent this week? Of course! But does that mean I should give up completely and call it a failure? Absolutely not! All I can try to do is be better than I was yesterday, and remind myself that I am doing this as a benefit to myself.

The goal tonight is to be off my phone by 9pm and asleep by 10pm, that way I can get my eight hours of sleep; this will make it easier for me to get up in the morning. I was normally in bed around 10pm for a while, but I think having Covid and sleeping all throughout the day kinda messed the schedule up.

A lot is going on around me lately that could be stress inducing, but I am doing my best to remember that I can only control my mindset and my reactions. Everything happens for a reason, and when things don’t work out, it’s usually because something better is on the horizon! All will happen as it should.

Self Care Sunday

Today felt like a very productive day, which always makes me feel very happy and accomplished. I love having days like this, and I know I only have many more to come if I keep working hard on focusing on the positives in every situation.

Grocery shopping is normally something I complain about, but I knew it was a task I had to complete today. I reminded myself that it is important to look at the situation with gratitude; I am thankful that I can afford to grocery shop for my home, and I am thankful that there are so many different food options to choose from! I felt a lot better getting ready to go to the grocery store than I normally would have, and I truly believe that is because I took that time to acknowledge the fact that grocery shopping is a blessing, and a privilege that I am lucky to have.

Something else that was a blessing today was I randomly got a notification on my phone that my aunt from out of town sent me money on venmo! The memo said: “Gas, groceries, meal out, whatever you want. :)” I was honestly taken aback, but immediately was so grateful and I sent her a message thanking her for this sweet gift. I put it right in our account to go towards groceries, and I’m currently making steaks in the air fryer for us! It’s truly incredible how it seems that when you pay attention to your blessings, that more seem to show up!

I may not have gone to the gym today or cleaned out my closet, but I did other productive things and I am happy for myself! I read some of my book (The Power is Within You- Louise Hay) out on my balcony, I listened to a Phil in the Blanks podcast, and I treated myself to an iced coffee! I keep reading posts and listening to podcasts about focusing on one thing at a time, and truly looking at life day by day instead of stressing about the “end goals,” and it’s truly has changed my perspective. For example, if I have the thought that I should go to the gym, but I truly don’t feel like going, I will at least take a few minutes to stretch or do a small workout with some dumbbells at home.

My past, perfectionist self wouldn’t have even done that because if I’m not going all in it’s not worth it, but that’s not true! If I would have done what I’m doing now each time that I didn’t go, I’d likely be a lot stronger/more toned now than I am! Instead of getting down on myself about that, I’m just making more conscious efforts and decisions moving forward; taking it day by day makes life feel a lot easier.

What did you do for yourself today? If nothing yet, please take some time for yourself! It doesn’t have to be something major, simply washing your face, reading a chapter of a book, or lighting your favorite candle can be an act of self care! You deserve time for yourself; remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup!

Perks

I’m trying to teach my brain to focus on the positive aspects of my job and not the negative/stressful parts. I know that anywhere I work will have its share of stress and shit to deal with, in which case I should be focusing on the benefits I receive from doing this job.

I don’t think I’ve really dove into what I do for work, but I manage a dental practice (two offices). I used to work in dental about five years ago and am very familiar with the healthcare field since I was just at a dermatology practice for almost three years. I definitely add value to this office and everyone I work with makes sure to tell me, which I appreciate.

The reason it’s so stressful is because the doctor I am working for hasn’t had an office manager for the past ten years, and on top of that all of the front desk staff wasn’t calling on insurance claims, getting patients insurance information, demographic information… you know, all the common sense stuff that you get in a healthcare practice! Needless to say, I walked into a literal clusterfuck.

As those of you have read in previous posts, I am very hard on myself. In the beginning of this job I kept telling myself that after a year the office would be running smoothly and it would be a walk in the park… well I was VERY wrong and of course am upset with myself about it. What I fail to acknowledge is the fact that I had basically zero training at this job, there were about seven people who came and went within my first six months of working there, we see upwards of 25+ patients a day and also the phones don’t stop ringing.

I am the person who checks patients in and out, answers the phones, schedules patients, calls on claims, sends out claims, sends dental records, coordinates referring patients to specialists, billing, etc. I do it all. This is why I’m so overwhelmed, but it’s also why the office isn’t where I want it to be at this point. I am doing too much and there’s barely any time to breathe, let alone fix the past four years of chaos that went on in the office.

Alright I realize I said I was going to talk about the perks and focus on the positives, but I feel like I need to explain the work load and why I have trouble remembering the good things. Something that the doctor I work for did for us last week was she paid for us to have a private pilates lesson; not only that but after the session she signed us up for another one for the end of this week! She wanted to get back into pilates and she thought we could all use a nice stress relief, and it’s great to work for someone who genuinely cares about their employees.

Another great thing is she has a house in Hawaii, and she lets her employees go stay there for free! Well we obviously pay for the airfare, but we have a house to stay in! My boyfriend and I will be taking advantage of that in October. I can also basically take off whenever I want to as long as I give enough notice! I get paid well, I’m not salary so I still get paid overtime, and for Christmas she gave me $400 in AMEX gift cards.

Overall, there are definitely great benefits from being at this job. I have no plans to leave, I know I can get this office where it needs to be. I just need to remind myself that good things take time, and I am doing my best. I feel like reminding myself of the good will keep me motivated and more positive. ♡