Sunday: Soft Girl Revolution

blog

Some humans are caring, compassionate and kind, while (unfortunately) others lack empathy and fail to have any moral compass. The human mind is the most complex organ to exist; it has the capacity to have one believing that they themselves are “God,” while others feel so low, feeling like they are the scum of the Earth. The thing about the brain that is so wild is that whatever you believe, your brain will do everything in it’s power to confirm that belief. This miraculous organ will find evidence in your every day life to confirm whatever it is that you are focusing your energy on.

Being in America right now, there is a lot of unrest. With masked ICE agents detaining and murdering innocent people, it is extremely hard to trust any sort of government or media, but what we can trust is our intuition: none of this is right. Humans do not deserve to be ripped away from their families. Humans do not deserve to be murdered for standing up for what they believe in. Humans do not deserve to have their food, environments or algorithms poisoned with sickening, artificial sh*t. The heaviness of it all is too much for one person to hold; if we can come together with love and compassion, I believe we can see change- but it is also important that we are taking care of ourselves.

With everything going around on social media, please remember that you can be informed without having to watch the videos of people getting murdered. Yes, there are people who were there to witness it, and we are privileged to have not been there to see it, but constantly consuming this content is not helpful to our brain health. We need our brains functioning well to fight this fight, and the media knows how easy it is to keep people in an angry, fear loop. Our anger can be our friend, as it shows us where boundaries are crossed, but it also is important that we take action and make decisions with clear minds, as this is our future we are fighting for. During these times, it is important to take breaks from social media and spend quality time within your own family and community. Spreading love will do much more than the constant consuming of horrific content.

On a more “woo woo” note, astrologers have been saying that right now is the age of revolution; the last time that Pluto was in the sign of Aquarius was during the American Revolution and the French Revolution. Since Pluto has sat her happy ass back in the sign of Aquarius, it just may be time for some much needed existential shifts. I personally envision a world where people do care for people, the government minds it’s own business other than working for the people, and we have more transparency and control over where our money is going. We pay our taxes because it is illegal if we don’t, yet major government entities haven’t passed their budget audits in years, we have millions of dollars for war, our groceries are full of poison, and we are funding masked murderers in our streets? Does anyone really want this?

When we break it down, this is not about Republican vs. Democrat or Red. vs. Blue or whatever divide it is that the media is trying to sell you: this is about humanity vs. corruption. None of us want to be funding our own deaths. None of us want to be working two jobs in order to barely have enough money to put our artificial groceries on the table. None of us want to live in fear that our medication prices will suddenly sky-rocket to a point where we cannot afford to take them. None of us want to avoid medical care because we are fearful of the amount of medical debt we will accrue. None of us want to see families get ripped apart by masked, unidentified “law enforcement.” None of us want to pay more attention to screen than our own families, friends and loved ones. None of us want to live in a constant state of fear and anger, and none of us deserve it.

I am not a teacher, nor a scientist. I am not a congressman, nor a judge. I am not a policeman, nor an FBI agent. I am not a governor, nor am I on any board of anything. I am not an influencer, nor am I a celebrity. I am not someone who is known: I am just like you. I am a human being who is upset and overwhelmed by the state of the world just looking for some way to connect and create authentic conversation. Humans are the most complex, resilient beings, and although I do often feel “too soft for all of it,” I do know that I cannot remain silent/complacent as I am not in agreeance with what is happening. Like the great Martin Luther King Jr, said: “There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.”

So to all my softies who struggle when it comes to going to protests and interacting with social media, just know that you can still make a difference. Even if it just means taking time to write and reflect about what is happening, or it’s starting to research when the local primaries are and who is on the ballots, that is enough. Focusing on your local communities, even your own home, is where revolutions can start. We are in a country built on moving fast, getting money, and hustling our lives away, but that is not in our nature as mammals. I think it is important that we take time to reconnect with ourselves and with nature. We need to take moments of silence to calm our nervous systems. We need to practice mindfulness in moments of overwhelm, as that will become our superpower during these times of unrest. We have to be able to emotionally regulate and think clearly to make the changes that are truly needed, and that starts right in your own home; we can be the change we need to see in this world, one step at a time.

8/8 Prompt

blog

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

I hope my blog makes people feel seen and heard, whether they see themselves in my writing or it inspires them to start their own blog/journal. I hope it gives people who are struggling with mental health hope and happiness, because I am definitely not the same person I was when I started this blog 5+ years ago. It’s normal for us all to have struggles on our journeys, but what’s important is we keep coming home to ourselves, and I hope my blog helps to remind people of that.

Black Butterfly

blog

Today I saw a black butterfly

Flying by the window near my desk

I had never recalled seeing such a unique creature

A black butterfly? Was it really?

I kept watching it as it flew past the window in the next room over and then to the next

It was so large and captivating

I couldn’t help but just pay attention to that butterfly in that moment

I just admired in awe

Tonight we got a sad message that a loved one of ours passed away this morning

She was a positive force in this world

So authentic, so caring

She was always smiling and laughing

She truly had the best energy

She remained in strong spirits during her fight with cancer, and today she rests comfortably in peace

This morning I believe she visited me in the form of a black butterfly

Her presence was strong, and captivating

I couldn’t help but just be in that moment

A moment for her to say she is still here, just in another form

Always beautiful

Always remembered

Always missed

Always loved

Last Full Moon 2023

blog

Today is a full moon in Cancer, and the themes of this moon include nurturing yourself, releasing, isolating, reset/rebirth. I’m not sure about you but I am FEELING this energy already! I am so excited for this new year and all of the wonderful blessings heading my way. 2024 is the year I become a WIFE! I also start my new job right in the beginning of the year, and I am excited to be in a new environment. I can feel so many good things coming my way; I am so excited to get in a new self-care routine and plan this wedding! This is my season and I am here for it!

This full moon I am releasing my need to control situations that are beyond my control. I am releasing the need to “fix” or change how certain people behave. I am releasing the “shoulds” and shame I am putting on myself in regard to my workout routine and eating habits. I am releasing the need to control how others perceive me, my boundaries, or my opinions. I am releasing the need to want everything to be perfect and flawless.

As I continue into the new year, I am focusing on being absolutely impeccable with my word and setting boundaries unapologetically and with love and kindness. I am focusing on how I communicate and making sure I am speaking up when needed. I am focusing on showing myself love and acceptance, and continuing to learn about my own brain and habits. I am focused on how I perceive myself and prioritizing the important things in life. I am focused on being authentic and 100% real in everything that I do.

I am living a life I once dreamed about, and I am forever grateful to be where I am today. Thinking back 10 years ago I was battling with anxiety and depression and I had a lot of issues with self-worth. I couldn’t stand how my brain worked or why I was always worried or on edge- I always felt like I was too much and a complete burden to be around. I had so much pent up rage and issues I needed to work out, and I truly didn’t know if I’d ever feel truly happy. Now I cry tears of pure joy pretty regularly because I am finally feeling the beautiful glimmers that life has to offer. I smile more, I laugh louder… I am happy.

I am so grateful for the life I have and the people I have in it, and I never want to take that for granted. I also finally see my worth and I don’ want to take this for granted either. I, just like every other human, deserve to live my dream life and have my happily ever after- and I am determined to give myself that. Practicing gratitude, sitting in silence, writing in this blog, these are all ways I can continue to come back to myself and be present. I actively choose happiness. I actively choose to heal. I actively choose to be grateful and present. I decide how I get to live my life, and I plan to live my best one.

Hope in the Darkness

blog

The world seems dark right now, and it’s hard to navigate or know what to say. It feels like nothing can take away the pain and horror of what is happening in the middle east, and maybe that is true at this exact moment, but throughout hard times in history, humans have been resilient. Humans can remain hopeful and have faith that better days are on the horizon, but I can’t help but feel that is too hard to do right now.

I am thousands of miles away from the horror that is happening, but as part of the human collective, I can’t help but feel anxiety and stress. I want to remain grateful and as positive as possible, since I am blessed to have this life I do today, but something about that makes me feel guilty. I know that people need to spread love, light, and hope… but in a way it almost feels inappropriate.

Everyone deserves love, everyone deserves peace, why is that so hard for us to achieve? Why is there such hatred and lack of empathy in this world? How could someone so easily take another human’s life away? Why are humans still targeting other humans just because they have different views or religion or skin? We all bleed the same blood, we all are made of skin and bones… how can we be so cruel to our own species?

I guess for now all I can do is pray. Pray for those who are missing and taken hostage to be released safely and reunited with their loved ones. I pray that those in fear are protected by a higher power, and that their guardian angels can help them through this horrific tragedy. I pray that our world can heal and realize that together we can achieve so much more, and that peace and love have always been the answer that we’ve desperately needed. I pray for all of the families who are suffering loss and fear, and hope that they can find strength and peace within them.

This world so desperately needs peace, and although it may seem impossible, that is something I will never stop praying for.

Feeling good (accidental late draft post)

blog

I have a job interview coming up Monday morning for a manager position at a dental office. I have experience and am very hopeful about this opportunity; they told me via email that they are impressed with my experience which is a good sign, right?!

Also what’s good is at my current job we hit all our numbers for last month so we ended up getting a nice bonus this month, which I used part of to order my Easy Press so I can start making shirts/sweatshirts with my Cricut. I also treated myself to a manicure today so that felt great!

One of my old coworkers is coming over to buy a shaker bottle from me! I bought some cute ones from Walmart and used my Cricut and permanent vinyl to add the phrase “Gym & Tonic” and people love them! (I’ll add the photo to this blog post). I’m thinking of more ideas for projects with Valentine’s day coming up!

How’s everyone’s weekend going?

When this is over

blog

When this is over, people will be more friendly. Strangers will say “hello!” and engage in polite conversation, rather than just faking smiles or simply not making eye contact.

When this is over, people will reach out to their friends and loved ones more often. Family members will catch up and have meaningful discussions, without being distracted by their devices.

When this is over, people will be nicer to themselves. The constant self-doubt and loathing will disappear, and instead self-care and confidence will take over.

When this is over, people will enjoy concerts and festivals more than ever and will learn to live those moments to the fullest, rather than recording and taking pictures to post for irrelevant “likes.”

I hope that during this time people are working on themselves and improving aspects of their lives as best as they can in their situations. I hope people are self-reflecting and realizing what is truly important to them, and what makes them genuinely happy.

We never know what life will throw at us, but having good people beside us when it gets hard makes it all a bit easier. More importantly, we are the only ones who are guaranteed to be by our side the entire time, therefore it is crucial that we love and care for ourselves. ♡