Happy Friday!! I have so many things to be grateful about today:
New Justin Bieber album is out!
I have a nail appointment today!
I get to shop with my friend that I haven’t seen in a while!
I work at a job where my bosses are flexible and appreciative!
I woke up in good health next to the love of my life!
Wow what a day!! Wishing everyone a happy Friday and happy weekend!!
Where did your name come from?
My name is Jena, and it’s pronounced “Jenna.” The amount of times I was called “Gina” by substitute teachers really confused me as a kid! My name is Jena because originally my parents were thinking about naming me Genesis. I wouldn’t not consider myself religious, and honestly, I’m not sure if my parents really would consider themselves religious anymore either, but I definitely believe in a higher power.
Genesis refers to the origin or beginning of something, and me arriving in their lives as their first (and only) child was definitely a new beginning for my parents. When I was young my dad was in a band, and he wrote a song called “Jena Says,” which was a play on Genesis as far as I know. I should probably ask to hear this song, or at least read the lyrics at some point.
I’ve always had this dream of starting a podcast, and I’ve always said it would be called “Jena Says,” because it gives homage to Genesis and new beginnings, but it also gives me freedom to talk about any and all topics, rather than being limited to one genre. I know I’d talk about my healing and spiritual journey, but I’d also love to talk about dental insurance being horrendous and relationships and happy things! I’d also love to have friends and guests on to discuss topics that they feel passionate about!
It’s something I’ve had in my heart for a while, and I’m working on trying to get past self-sabotaging habits and breaking through perfectionism. I’m recognizing that I just need to start doing something regularly, even if it’s just writing up a paragraph or recording for five minutes. Cocoon season is right around the corner, so as I hibernate in my home, maybe I can dive into this dream.
Today was such an incredible day. My family from Iowa came out to visit and take me and my husband out for my birthday. They also blessed us with a very generous gift, and I’m beyond grateful for them. I feel just so grateful and lucky honestly, and I am just happy to be present to it all.
My husband and I also went over to visit his family at the farmer’s market! They have a barbecue business and they’re a vendor at the market every Friday, so we decided to stop by and say hi! When we were leaving the market, another vendor selling cute jewelry caught my eye, and I ended up getting a cute evil eye bracelet, ring, and a pair of snake earrings! It was 3 for $30 and I just happened to have $30 cash in my wallet!
Tomorrow I get to see some of my good friends as we all get together to celebrate my birthday!! We’re gonna go to the local fair and I can’t wait to get a funnel cake as my birthday cake! I’m not a huge cake fan, but I loooveee me some funnel cake so honestly I’m so excited for this! I’m also just excited to see all the people who make me happy and feel loved- it’s just the best feeling.
I also get to take a mini girls trip early next week to go see Glass Animals in concert and I am looking forward to that as well! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy to be living this life. I’ve healed enough that I am actually able to feel the love around me and truly be happy, and I am so grateful for that.
I’ve been feeling a shift coming, some wild blessings and miracles on the way. Like I’m excited, for something that I don’t know I’m excited for- if that makes sense. My birthday is around the corner, and I will say I am very excited to celebrate my 30th with my close friends, but it feels like it’s something else. Either way, I’m trusting in my angels and the universe that I can trust and just be ready to receive.
What notable things happened today?
On my way to work this morning I could not get myself together, so I ended up texting my bosses and calling off. Last night we found out that my husband’s cousin lost her battle with cancer. Her health started to rapidly decline recently, and she passed away yesterday morning.
Grief is such a hard thing to navigate. One moment you’re frozen in shock; complete disbelief- almost numb. The next moment, all the emotions come crashing down and around you- completely engulfed in the heaviness. The next you start to think about how grateful you are to have had time with your loved one… to have had them there at your wedding only less than a year ago- then the sadness washes back.
I felt guilty for calling in and being an emotional wreck while my husband, the one who is blood related to his cousin, is at work and holding it together. We are here for each other, we comfort one another, yet I feel guilty for being the one who seems to need more of it. At the same time, I am just a feeling person. I’m sensitive and I love hard, so the loss is hard.
I also am spiritual, unlike my husband, and I right after we found out about his cousin’s passing, I had to tell him about the butterfly I saw. When I was at work yesterday morning, a large, gorgeous black butterfly flew over to the window by my desk. I honestly don’t recall ever seeing a black butterfly before, and definitely not one of this size. I was so amazed and captivated by this butterfly that I couldn’t help but just be in that moment.
When we found out about her passing, after the initial shock and tears I thought about that butterfly. I couldn’t help but think… was that her? This brought a moment of peace amidst the grief: she was telling me that she was still here with me (us) but in a different form now.
Today I am sitting in the grief. I am releasing the guilt and shame about how I grieve. I am not ashamed of how deeply I feel and how much I love people. As a child I was often shamed for my big emotions, which is where this icky feeling stems from; but I know I am not being dramatic. I am being human.
Today I am also leaning into my spirituality and beliefs in our angels on the other side. The signs I see are clear to me, and I know that our loved one is watching us and supporting us from the other side. She had so much love for us here earth-side, so I can only imagine the power of her divine love.
Today I saw a black butterfly
Flying by the window near my desk
I had never recalled seeing such a unique creature
A black butterfly? Was it really?
I kept watching it as it flew past the window in the next room over and then to the next
It was so large and captivating
I couldn’t help but just pay attention to that butterfly in that moment
I just admired in awe
Tonight we got a sad message that a loved one of ours passed away this morning
She was a positive force in this world
So authentic, so caring
She was always smiling and laughing
She truly had the best energy
She remained in strong spirits during her fight with cancer, and today she rests comfortably in peace
This morning I believe she visited me in the form of a black butterfly
Her presence was strong, and captivating
I couldn’t help but just be in that moment
A moment for her to say she is still here, just in another form
Always beautiful
Always remembered
Always missed
Always loved
Just having a seat outside, soaking up the sun and grounding my feet in the grass. The birds have lots to say to one another this morning, and lucky for me, I just get to listen.
My husband and I are going to visit my family in Iowa this afternoon to celebrate my great grandma’s 97th birthday! I’m so grateful that we are able to see her and spend time with her, as well as the rest of the fam bam.
I feel so blessed to be present in this moment. I have an amazing husband, a beautiful home, financial stability, genuine friendships, and inner peace. We’re in good health, and our cats are for the most part as we get Mushu all regulated on her insulin. Overall we have a very good life, and I do not want to take it for granted.
Having a healthy marriage was always a dream of mine, and I’m so happy to have that with my husband. All I ever wanted was to have a home I was excited to come back to after a day away at work or running errands, and I have that. Communication and companionship are huge keys to success in marriage; this is why they always say to marry your best friend. Even when I’m stressed out or having a bad day, I know I have someone who loves me and someone I can lean on, and I know he feels the same.
I’m gonna head inside so we can get ready to go out to breakfast before our drive to see the family, but I just wanted to take a moment to be here and acknowledge how good life is. I am healthy, wealthy and happy, and I am in love with my life. I no longer feel crippling anxiety and emptiness like I did back in my early twenties, and as I approach my 30th birthday, I can’t help but be excited for this new decade ahead!
222- the angel number for alignment. No matter how hard the days can feel, just know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. All of this is preparing you for the level up! You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Do you practice religion?
I pray and I have faith in a higher power, but I am not “religious” per se. As a child, I went to a Christian church for a bit, but I don’t remember a lot from that other than being in church choir. I also know I watched a lot of Veggie Tales, but I don’t remember the actual religious parts of the show. I am still struggling with the word “God,” a bit, and I don’t know if that just comes from the fact that I believe we’re all from the same source, but not that it’s some masculine figure in the sky who is ruling us all.
I have seen signs and synchronicities from the Universe; I know that energy matters, and how we talk to ourselves and others is important. When we come from a place of gratitude and abundance, we tend to see more of that in our lives. When we come from a wounded place of lack, we tend to see all the places we are failing. How we tune into the world is how we perceive it, and when I pray to the universe and count my blessings, I feel so in tune with the universe.
When I’m in tune, I see a lot of repeating numbers and hear repeating phrases. I notice many synchronicities and I feel so giddy inside when I notice a sign. I love feeling so connected to the divine and to my angels, and in those moments, I know that we’re all connected all the time.
I’m tired and in bed before I have to get up for work, and just wanted to take a moment to jot down some random thoughts I’ve had recently:
finding light in the dark 