I have been on a social media break since the beginning of December. One of the accounts I really liked on Instagram has an email signup where they send daily affirmations, so I had signed up over a year ago and I continue to get them. Todays affirmation from Moon Omens was as follows:
“I trust that what is meant
for me is on its way. I am in
alignment with my life path.
I embrace the unknown.
I choose love over fear.”
I definitely needed this today, as I have just been in a little funk with this winter season. I also have been dealing with different health conditions like flu, uti and possible tonsillitis. We also had to take one of our cats to the vet yesterday, so today we will get results from her blood and urine. I’ve just been feeling a bit overwhelmed and when I read this I resonated with it. I figured I also can take this and put my own personal twist on it:
I trust that what is meant for me is on its way; I am allowed to release all of my worries and let go of control.
I am in alignment with my life path, even when I am not feeling 100% myself, I can trust this is all happening for me and a higher plan.
I embrace the unknown, and lean in with curiosity. This had me immediately think of another other quote I stumbled upon recently that says “The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.” I am allowed to dive into the unknown and let go of the need to appear smart or perfect.
I choose love over fear. I think we’ve all heard the phrase “the only thing to fear is fear itself,” and that is because if you let it, fear can completely take you over. I’d much prefer to live a life where I see through a lens of love and compassion rather than fear and hatred.
I’m using this weekend as a reset. I want to get back in a good headspace and focus on my goals- I am honestly very excited for it. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Sending extra love and positive vibes to everyone!
Yesterday my friend and I made vision boards for 2025! Now I have the itch to keep making collages, so I put together a few pages in the vision boarding journal I started for this year. Cutting out pictures and picking out stickers definitely feeds my inner child, and it’s nice to just escape from the chaotic world and immerse myself in positive imagery and quotes.
In honor of the full moon, and of myself, I’m going to journal the prompts from my favorite Instagram page here on my blog. Normally I write these down in my notebook, but honestly I’m too tired to be walk downstairs and grab it, and I figured why not just post it on here!
@sistersvillage on IG
When I bring my focus to my heart, what is it telling me?
My heart is telling me to let go:
Let go of all the pain and wounds that keep me from shining your light. Let go of the fear of disappointing others, and instead prioritize not disappointing yourself. Let go of the need to please and appease, and instead just be authentic and true to yourself.
What areas of my life are calling me to soften and surrender?
I need to soften and surrender at work. There is only so much I can do as one person, and I have been burned out before. I’m finally in a good workspace, with great owners, and they also don’t want me to burn out. I have my own job duties and it is not my responsibility to fix or manage anyone else’s duties. I have the tendency to be a fixer and I want to give solutions and help, but sometimes it’s to my own detriment. I don’t want to be stressed at work, and I have the power to stay in my lane and just focus on my own work!
Both at work and in my personal life, I’m going to keep practicing “let them” whenever I am bothered by something someone else does or says. Instead I’ll take note and give my time and energy accordingly- this year is all about being intentional and surrendering the rest to the universe.
What pain am I letting go of?
I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling the need to be perfect. I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling like I need approval and praise from external sources. I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling emotionally abandoned…from feeling like a burden. I’m letting go of the pain that has hindered me from being my favorite version of myself. I’m letting go of all of the pain that holds me down, and I am setting myself free.
Mel Robbins has talked a lot about this topic: “Let them.” She even wrote a book about it that is available for preorder (which I need to order that at some point). This phrase has become so powerful, because it allows you to take your energy and time back, and it allows you to let go of control.
In reality, we can’t change anyone else; I mean, look how hard it is to make changes in your own life! Yet, even though we know we can’t make anyone else change, we may still spend time and energy being bothered by things they do that we don’t understand. We waste our own time thinking about how others should change or even thinking about how they perceive us, when we cannot control any of that at all!
No matter how mindful or nice I try to be, someone could still think I am annoying or rude. I have no control over how someone else views me, and in reality, it really isn’t my business. How we feel about ourselves is what really matters- and a lot of us carry a lot of shame and guilt that we end up projecting onto our outer world. That is why the more we heal our own wounds, the more we heal the world. If we have less assumptions and projections and we have more discussions and connections, then we recognize how similar we all are and can give each other (and ourselves) grace.
Let people think what they want about you- as long as you know and love yourself, that is what matters. Let people act the way they do; as an adult you can set boundaries and if they break those boundaries, you can decide to let go of that relationship. In other words, then it’s time for “let me.” You are in control of your own decisions and who you decide to spend your time with. When someone is not respectful of your boundaries, listen to them.
We can complain all we want about people crossing our boundaries, but if we never stand up for ourselves, that is also a choice. You get to decide how long you put up with disrespect. We also complain about other people’s choices or actions, but that is literally taking time and energy away from your own life goals. You get to decide if you want to keep thinking about and judging someone’s actions over focusing on your own dreams and ambitions.
“Let them” is powerful, and so is “let me.” This year, I am leaning more into this theory. As I approach my 30th birthday (well, it’s not until July LOL), I am reminded to take a look at how I spend my own time and start to be more intentional with it. I live a very beautiful life and I never want to take it for granted. I am grateful for the countless blessings that surround me, and I am so happy to be present to all of this.
My goals of healthy living align with my future self because I want to be able to travel and hike and keep up with my future children. I also want to have more healthy food options around for my future children, so they don’t struggle like I do with my lack of palette.
I have been avoiding taking responsibility towards actually working on my goals. I’ve been wasting time on mindless TV when I can reading/learning. I did take a break off social media, and I’m gonna continue that into the new year so I can focus on my true goals and stop mindless scrolling.
I am calling in confidence and consistency. I am focusing on my goals and how to make them fun. I am focusing on all of the joys in every day life. I am calling in peaceful energy, and I’m letting go of anxieties about things beyond my control.
I love that I just logged into Walmart to do a grocery pickup order and just saw how literally they have huge discounts and deals right now. Of course they do… it’s after Christmas! I’m noting this for my future- maybe some gifts are gonna be accidentally left at the north pole and come late LOL.
But anyways here’s another day in bed trying to sweat out this flu. Literally woke up in the pool of sweat- my pajamas felt like I just pulled them out of a pool. This is great, because I’m sweating out my illness, but also it makes me feel disgusting and I need to wash myself and the bedding.
I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow, and I’m thinking I should be able to. I may tell people to just stay away from me (should be easy, I’m in the back away from people and patients), and I’ll keep a mask by if people get too close. Although the flu is hopefully gone, it feels like I may have some sort of bronchitis happening now. My husband still has a lingering cough as well, but per Google we can feel tired and have a cough for weeks after the flu! Love that for us! LOL
Overall I am glad we are in the positions we are in with work considering we already had some planned days off with the holidays. I’m glad we can still afford our bills and do grocery pickups and get what we need. I feel very blessed to have this life with my husband, and I am happy he is feeling up to working today and he’s able to do so from home!
Sending love and healing energy to all- I pray the rest of 2024 is full of peace, positivity, and love. 🤍
When I initially read this, I thought “absolutely!” and then had a sudden flashback to when I thought this girl at my work was normal and she definitely was NOT. She was sort of a stalker of sorts honestly, and sometimes I still can’t help but judge myself when I literally LET HER CAT SIT MY BABIES WHEN MY HUSBAND (boyfriend at the time) AND I WENT ON VACATION. Luckily I no longer have contact with her, however I still recently was shown a picture where I discovered she named her baby boy the same name as my husband… but back to the prompt.
I decided to google “what makes a good judge of character,” and according to the AI generated response, I will still go with my initial reaction, I am very observant, I listen well, I notice when people are inconsistent in their words and actions, and putting all of this together can assist in making a good judge of character. I also need to trust my intuition more, which is something I’m working on in my current life. I truly do feel that I am a good judge of character, I think my issue with the situation I described at the beginning of my post was just being too trusting too soon.
I am a very empathetic person and at points in my life it has definitely been to my detriment- this weird coworker situation being one of them. I was already friends with one of the girls in that tiny billing office (let’s call her Amanda), and had discovered that I went to high school with the other girl, so I was pretty open and friendly in the beginning with everyone in there. I also had already worked for the company before, so I had already met this other girl (let’s call her Bethany) and never knew of anyone having any problems with her.
I had started at that job in September (years ago, but I’m not trying to go into specifics), and by Halloween my friend Amanda and I were celebrating in my downtown area with Bethany and her other friend and husband, Amanda and I had our boyfriends there as well, and everyone had a relatively good time. Since Bethany actually lived in my same town (yup… super uncomfy) we had made plans to go bowling another night with our significant others. When we did, honestly everything seemed normal. The whole forming of a friendship seemed normal…until it didn’t.
We had these weird work schedules and there would be times when Bethany and I would work just the two of us for an hour or so. Suddenly this girl would just start talking about very sexual shit, like girl had zero boundaries and honestly I had no clue where this was coming from. I’m a pretty conservative person and do not discuss that type of thing with friends, let alone coworkers… in the work place! It was so uncomfortable and I felt so awkward and just would try to ignore or redirect the conversation to work.
She also started to seem to like everything I liked and it started to feel weird. I talked once about how I would sometimes hula-hoop because I wanted to learn how to do cool tricks and dances, and the next day Bethany comes into work like “I wanna learn how to hula-hoop, let’s hoop together.” I also started listening to Gabby Bernstein and then suddenly she’s like “Oh I paid for her manifesting challenge, I can print two copies if you want one!”
As I mentioned earlier on, I had let this girl watch my cats when we had gone on a vacation (this was prior to all of the weird sexual talk and copycat behavior). Since Bethany knew where I lived, she decided to show up at my house unannounced one day. I was actually out with my cousin at the time, but my husband (bf at the time) was home. Luckily, he did not answer the door and he was honestly creeped out, as was I! Like bruh, my own mother does not show up unannounced… why the fuck do you think you can? According to her, she just wanted to show me her new scooter she rode over to the house.
So then I had to have an uncomfortable conversation with her at work, which I made sure not to do in front of anyone else, that she cannot come to my house unannounced as we do not like that. She basically kinda laughed about it, which I was hoping was just a cope laugh, but I also had to tell her that we are coworkers and not friends. Like I want everything to be normal at work, but that’s it. I kinda tried to use the boss and company as reasoning like I just didn’t want the drama, because it’s uncomfortable to straight up tell someone that they are weirding you out.
I mean this is something I’m working on with the people-pleasing, because I am very much aware I am allowed to speak up when I’m uncomfortable. I am no longer prioritizing other people’s comfort over my own. I feel like many people do fawn in situations, statistically women do more, and I wish women were just taught to be more assertive as young girls. I should not have felt so weird to just call her out and let her know I’m feeling uncomfortable and do not wish to talk to her.
I did end up going to the boss and letting her know how uncomfortable I was. At this point she kept bringing me my coffee order and saying things like “I had a free coffee! The universe has your back!” which is a Gabby Bernstein book. *eye-roll HARD* Not to mention I completely skipped the part where she was bringing her AirPods into the bathroom, but leaving her phone in the office with the little “ear” device on so she could listen to all of us in the office when she wasn’t in there. Yeah, Bethany really was some sort of wacko I hope to never come across again.
The more I observed Bethany, the more I recognized how all her value came from external validation and attention. She needed everyone else to like her. She made every situation somehow about her, and she’d always make herself the victim. Complete covert narcissist. Literally we had a girl working with us for several months, and during her time there, she had announced that she was pregnant. We were all so excited for her, except for Bethany.
Bethany wanted a baby of her own, and it was not happening for her at that time. Side note: honestly, even though she is not my favorite person, I was so happy for her when I was told that she was pregnant and when she had her baby a couple months ago. I have her blocked on everything so I wouldn’t have known without someone else telling me, and now I kind of wish I didn’t know, because I will forever be weirded out that her baby and my husband have the same name. Especially because she met my husband and also seemed to be oddly obsessed with him too in my opinion.
Okay I got off on a tangent for a second (and this entire prompt that turned into a whole ass story LOL), but Bethany was upset that our other coworker was pregnant. She literally said to me once “I think she’s rubbing in my face” and I said “I think she’s just excited to have a baby girl and a baby she will have all the time” (because she already had a boy and was actively fighting for full custody with her ex).
Our pregnant coworker ended up quitting a couple months before her due date, and in August we got the devastating news that she had actually passed away during childbirth. We were all very shocked and shook up by this incident, but I was also very shocked at what Bethany had to say.
She said, within literally minutes of learning this news, “this really hits home for me dealing with my infertility” ……. WHAT?! First of all, way to make HER FUCKING DEATH ABOUT YOU!! But also, our late coworker didn’t have any “infertility” issues, her death was a rare accident and she was full-term in her pregnancy. Literally what the fuck are you talking about? I was completely confused as to what was coming out of her mouth and was appalled that someone could make this horrific tragedy about themselves.
Once I was truly observing Bethany, I wanted nothing to do with her. We were not aligned in anything, no matter how much she would try to convince me that we were. I have learned a valuable lesson to allow myself time to observe and listen before diving into trust and closeness. I don’t think I’ll let anyone new ever watch my cats again, or know where I reside, and I will be more vocal when I am uncomfortable, because if you have no problem making me uncomfortable, then I have no problem returning the favor. Life is all about lessons, and typically the hardest situations allow for the most growth.
finding light in the dark 