Mutual respect is absolutely necessary for any successful relationship.
Sometimes letting go is the only answer. Detach from the outcomes and trust.
Rearranging my space / house always feels so nice.
Most people are just projecting their own unlearned issues onto people- stop taking things personally.
Everyone you know is struggling with something in some sort of capacity, it’s better to just be kind always.
I feel like we all need to start re-centering and re-grounding ourselves. We all need to learn how to feel our emotions, instead of shoving them away.
I’m actually pretty sad that I get anxious to go on walks by my house. I cried about it the other day- but to be fair, I’m also on my period. I’ve just had a couple bad experiences, like 1. watching a dog get hit by a car and 2. some guy was going to try to kidnap me. oh.. and 3. a creepy coworker of mine showed up to my house unannounced while I was on a walk. Needless to say, I don’t really feel calm on my walks- I’m typically on high alert.
I selfishly hate that my cat has diabetes. It’s so hard for my husband and I to take vacations because she has to have her insulin twice a day, and she’s did horrible when she had an 8 hour stay at the vet, so she can’t really be put in a kitty hotel for long. I don’t want to fly her anywhere and driving her in a car for hours would also stress her out so it’s just all annoying as shit.
I am tired of patients yelling at me when aim trying to help them. You can’t really yell at me about your insurance policy- you signed up for it, not me. I didn’t write in the frequencies or downgrades or make up any of the stupid rules for your plan, and I also agree with you that they are stupid rules. It’s patients and providers against the insurance companies- don’t yell at me when I’m on your side!
I definitely need to drink more water.
I could really use a technology free day by the ocean. Warm sun, a light breeze, sand in my toes, and the sounds of the ocean… I feel like that would heal me.
I’m annoyed that Tell Me Lies is over.
It is another day of the “arctic tundra” here in the Midwest. Luckily, we should be leaving the negative temperatures today, and I decided to leave my house today to get some coffee! I really wish I had planned ahead for these cold temperatures by booking a flight to the Bahamas or something, but I’ll just have to keep that in mind for next time. I have been in a little bit of a funk with feeling overwhelmed at work and just feeling the darkness of winter; I also just had my period and it was six days late so that didn’t really help. The more I reflect on this, the more I am realizing that I need to let go of control at work. I put this immense pressure on myself to stay on top of all of these things, but being in the insurance world, there is literally so much beyond my control.
At work, and in life in general, all I can control is my own reactions and my attitude. I have been so overwhelmed by all of the changes in patient’s insurance plans and still dealing with the remnants of our horrible transition with the new front desk- literally my period has been late the last couple months, and I knew they would be late because I was so stressed out! My body has been tense and I’ve been exhausted, and I no longer wish to put myself through this. I know I need to work on a good routine on how to decompress and also ideally work towards my wellness goals, but I know the focus just needs to be on self-love rather than shame. Since I have been in a negative headspace, it hasn’t felt like a good time to pursue a wellness routine- when I do these things in a place of self-loathing, it’s never healthy, nor does it end well.
I know I just need to focus on rest and joy. I have been feeling the need to stretch, so I am going to do some more of that today. I know I need to talk to my body nicer and be more mindful about how I speak about it. It’s easy to get into comparison culture, especially in the new year and seeing everyone posting themselves in the gym and eating really healthy, but 1. people always post the highlights, and 2. my journey is mine, it is not meant to be altered or influenced by others. I know that deep down, we all know what is best for us. I know that the more I listen to my gut and actually mindfully work towards my goals, the more confidence I will have, and the easier it will be to let go of things beyond my control.
Today I had a few friends over for a little vision boarding party! It was just four of us which ended up being very chill, and we all had a great time! I love making vision boards and just yapping w the gals while listening to a throwback playlist. It was definitely a great Saturday!
Thank goodness it’s Friday! I am so tired, but just knowing I only have to get through today and it’s the weekend again is keeping me motivated. It’s the beginning of the year so I’ll be verifying lots of new insurances, but I will also be keeping in mind that I am only one human, and there’s no reason to stress when there’s only so much I can do.
Things are falling into place at work and I’m hoping by the end of first quarter we will have some great strides with our new front desk lead, aka my old manager! She’s only been at the office two days and I can tell how good this is gonna be- just gotta be patient per usual!
I hope everyone has a great Friday and upcoming weekend!
Happy Monday! I am feeling quite tired this morning, but I am manifesting a great day and week ahead! This weekend was nice as my husband and I got to see some friends and family, and I’m just excited that we’re in October and the fall weather is on the way!
To kick off the week, I just wanted to just start my day with some gratitude! As stressful as life can feel sometimes, I know that there is beauty all around, and I have so many blessings to be grateful for.
I am grateful that I get to wake up next to the love of my life, in our warm, comfy bed. It’s so nice to wake up and feel immediately safe and relaxed knowing that he is here with me.
I’m grateful for our home that provides security, safety, and a roof over our heads. It’s cold when it needs to be cold, and warm when it needs to be warm. We have clean, running water and we have electricity-our home is everything we need.
I am grateful that my husband and I have jobs that allow us to pay for the life we have. We can pay our bills and still enjoy having fun in life, and I’m just thankful we’re both in jobs that we don’t hate LOL.
I am grateful for our cars- I love my car and am thankful to have a reliable vehicle to get me from place to place safely. I enjoy my car and I am thankful that I can make those monthly payments, although I am also excited for the day we pay it off!
Last but not least, I am thankful for my Angels and the Universe. I am thankful that when I am in low moments, or even moments of happiness, I can find peace in knowing that I am being divinely guided and protected. I have seen so many signs and synchronicities that remind me that there is so much more than all that we see, and it is pure and beautiful. The more I step into the present moment, the more I am in tune with the Universe.
Thank you for this quiet morning.
Thank you for this beautiful week.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Last night my high school BFF slept over! We watched movies, ate snacks, and did some spooky crafts! It was so nice to just unwind and have fun! We also went and grabbed some coffee this morning and walked around the little downtown area which was nice! Now my husband and I are headed to breakfast and she went home to enjoy the rest of her Sunday! I’m so grateful for weekends like these!
Yesterday was rough at work – again thanks to Aetna just dropping their contracts with Careington and forcing so many providers out of network with NO NOTICE!!! But I’m just trying to remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what we have to work with, I just feel bad for patients and it’s frustrating that the insurance company literally tells patients that we decided to leave the network which is BS! There’s only so much I can do, we’re doing all we can to help and keep our patients, so that is what matters.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
I hope my blog makes people feel seen and heard, whether they see themselves in my writing or it inspires them to start their own blog/journal. I hope it gives people who are struggling with mental health hope and happiness, because I am definitely not the same person I was when I started this blog 5+ years ago. It’s normal for us all to have struggles on our journeys, but what’s important is we keep coming home to ourselves, and I hope my blog helps to remind people of that.
Goodbye to my 20s
I accomplished so much in this past decade
My husband & I bought our home together
We grew in our careers
We got married
I went through a whirlwind of a mental health journey, and I’m still forever learning and evolving (as we all are)
I feel like so much abundance is on the horizon
Like I’m shedding these layers of programming
My inner critic is shrinking
My inner child is happy and growing
My inner compass is aligned
My inner knowing is strong
I always had the strength – I survived through everything in the last 3 decades
I survived when I was too young to know how to- my brain / amygdala knew how to though
I lived a lot of my life in survival mode, and within the last couple years I have finally been able to feel present- I’ve cried tears of joy over just being.
Just being.
And it’s crazy to think that maybe that’s the them of 30s… just being.
No pressure.
No people pleasing.
No perfectionism.
Just authenticity and honesty.
Just being.
finding light in the dark 