universe

October Prayers

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Dear Universe,

May October feel cozy and sweet, like the cinnamon and pumpkin seasonings in our drinks.

May October feel like a breath of fresh air, bringing peace and quiet to chaotic minds and bodies.

May October feel like letting go, releasing all of the weights and worries that were never ours to hold.

May October bring clarity and comfort to all who are needing a little extra lately.

I pray October is bringing love, blessings and peace to the entire collective. I pray we are present enough to see and receive all of life’s beautiful offers and opportunities. I pray that this month we’re all able to trust and lean into faith, rather than succumbing to fear and doubt. May October be blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Friday Feels

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Today was such an incredible day. My family from Iowa came out to visit and take me and my husband out for my birthday. They also blessed us with a very generous gift, and I’m beyond grateful for them. I feel just so grateful and lucky honestly, and I am just happy to be present to it all.

My husband and I also went over to visit his family at the farmer’s market! They have a barbecue business and they’re a vendor at the market every Friday, so we decided to stop by and say hi! When we were leaving the market, another vendor selling cute jewelry caught my eye, and I ended up getting a cute evil eye bracelet, ring, and a pair of snake earrings! It was 3 for $30 and I just happened to have $30 cash in my wallet!

Tomorrow I get to see some of my good friends as we all get together to celebrate my birthday!! We’re gonna go to the local fair and I can’t wait to get a funnel cake as my birthday cake! I’m not a huge cake fan, but I loooveee me some funnel cake so honestly I’m so excited for this! I’m also just excited to see all the people who make me happy and feel loved- it’s just the best feeling.

I also get to take a mini girls trip early next week to go see Glass Animals in concert and I am looking forward to that as well! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy to be living this life. I’ve healed enough that I am actually able to feel the love around me and truly be happy, and I am so grateful for that.

Friday AM

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I’ve been feeling a shift coming, some wild blessings and miracles on the way. Like I’m excited, for something that I don’t know I’m excited for- if that makes sense. My birthday is around the corner, and I will say I am very excited to celebrate my 30th with my close friends, but it feels like it’s something else. Either way, I’m trusting in my angels and the universe that I can trust and just be ready to receive.

6-13-25

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What notable things happened today?

On my way to work this morning I could not get myself together, so I ended up texting my bosses and calling off. Last night we found out that my husband’s cousin lost her battle with cancer. Her health started to rapidly decline recently, and she passed away yesterday morning.

Grief is such a hard thing to navigate. One moment you’re frozen in shock; complete disbelief- almost numb. The next moment, all the emotions come crashing down and around you- completely engulfed in the heaviness. The next you start to think about how grateful you are to have had time with your loved one… to have had them there at your wedding only less than a year ago- then the sadness washes back.

I felt guilty for calling in and being an emotional wreck while my husband, the one who is blood related to his cousin, is at work and holding it together. We are here for each other, we comfort one another, yet I feel guilty for being the one who seems to need more of it. At the same time, I am just a feeling person. I’m sensitive and I love hard, so the loss is hard.

I also am spiritual, unlike my husband, and I right after we found out about his cousin’s passing, I had to tell him about the butterfly I saw. When I was at work yesterday morning, a large, gorgeous black butterfly flew over to the window by my desk. I honestly don’t recall ever seeing a black butterfly before, and definitely not one of this size. I was so amazed and captivated by this butterfly that I couldn’t help but just be in that moment.

When we found out about her passing, after the initial shock and tears I thought about that butterfly. I couldn’t help but think… was that her? This brought a moment of peace amidst the grief: she was telling me that she was still here with me (us) but in a different form now.

Today I am sitting in the grief. I am releasing the guilt and shame about how I grieve. I am not ashamed of how deeply I feel and how much I love people. As a child I was often shamed for my big emotions, which is where this icky feeling stems from; but I know I am not being dramatic. I am being human.

Today I am also leaning into my spirituality and beliefs in our angels on the other side. The signs I see are clear to me, and I know that our loved one is watching us and supporting us from the other side. She had so much love for us here earth-side, so I can only imagine the power of her divine love.

Black Butterfly

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Today I saw a black butterfly

Flying by the window near my desk

I had never recalled seeing such a unique creature

A black butterfly? Was it really?

I kept watching it as it flew past the window in the next room over and then to the next

It was so large and captivating

I couldn’t help but just pay attention to that butterfly in that moment

I just admired in awe

Tonight we got a sad message that a loved one of ours passed away this morning

She was a positive force in this world

So authentic, so caring

She was always smiling and laughing

She truly had the best energy

She remained in strong spirits during her fight with cancer, and today she rests comfortably in peace

This morning I believe she visited me in the form of a black butterfly

Her presence was strong, and captivating

I couldn’t help but just be in that moment

A moment for her to say she is still here, just in another form

Always beautiful

Always remembered

Always missed

Always loved

Happy June

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June is for giving yourself credit for all you’ve accomplished so far this year. 🙌🏼

June is for basking in the sunshine and feeling present in your everyday life. ☀️

June is for surprise miracles and abundance around every corner. ✨

June is for noticing and appreciating all of the love around you. 🤍

June is here to remind you of your true power and potential- may you be present and open to receiving all that is for you. 🥰

Religion (prompt)

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Do you practice religion?

I pray and I have faith in a higher power, but I am not “religious” per se. As a child, I went to a Christian church for a bit, but I don’t remember a lot from that other than being in church choir. I also know I watched a lot of Veggie Tales, but I don’t remember the actual religious parts of the show. I am still struggling with the word “God,” a bit, and I don’t know if that just comes from the fact that I believe we’re all from the same source, but not that it’s some masculine figure in the sky who is ruling us all.

I have seen signs and synchronicities from the Universe; I know that energy matters, and how we talk to ourselves and others is important. When we come from a place of gratitude and abundance, we tend to see more of that in our lives. When we come from a wounded place of lack, we tend to see all the places we are failing. How we tune into the world is how we perceive it, and when I pray to the universe and count my blessings, I feel so in tune with the universe.

When I’m in tune, I see a lot of repeating numbers and hear repeating phrases. I notice many synchronicities and I feel so giddy inside when I notice a sign. I love feeling so connected to the divine and to my angels, and in those moments, I know that we’re all connected all the time.

New Moon Release 5-26-25

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Happy New Moon!! 🙌🏼

This new moon, I’m setting the intention of being less in the mindset of “all or nothing.” This comes into play a lot in my life whenever I am trying to reach a new goal or start a new project, and I know it stems from the perfectionism. This mindset has hurt me in the past when it comes to dieting, as well as healing and even starting my podcast.

When I was doing the Ketogenic diet to lose weight years ago, I was all the way in. I ate all the protein I needed, I made sure to never go over 20 net carbs a day, and when I did, I punished myself for it. I’d mentally beat the shit out of myself for going over as if that would change my entire progress. Even if it did, which it did not, I never deserved to treat myself the way I did. That was way more unhealthy than if I had eaten 20 more carbs!

When it comes to my healing journey, along the way I have found that there is so much to heal from, and I was starting to look at myself as this never-ending project. I was just a human full of issues and problems that would never be fully solved, so I either had to try harder or give up entirely- that is literally NOT the solution. I can be aware and mindful in my life, and the only way to truly grow and evolve is to keep living and just keep checking back in with yourself. I am not a project that needs consistent tweaking and fixing- I am an evolving human.

As far as the podcast that I’ve started behind the scenes, I find myself completely delaying and avoiding it, because I care a lot about it. I know that I want it to be good, but I also am actively fighting against my perfectionism while recording, because I already decided to not edit ANY of it. I ultimately decided that because I know that I will edit and edit and edit until there is nothing left, when my real intention with this podcast is to be raw and real. I can be raw and real at anytime, so I can truly record at anytime- but I get on the mindset of “all or nothing.”

I’m not pouring all of my effort and trying to make this the best (which also applies to everything in my life) my mind then goes: “well, then I shouldn’t do anything at all”- but that is my anxiety and perfectionism taking over. I know in my heart and soul that the black and white thinking is not how we’re meant to be in this world; it’s truly all gray. We’re allowed to be creative and flexible- in fact, it’s encouraged over being rigid.

I am releasing these rigid thoughts and feelings, and I am tuning into the creative flow of life. I welcome all love, abundance, and happiness to flow into my life, and may I be present enough to feel it all. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ✨