thoughts

New Moon Release 5-26-25

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Happy New Moon!! 🙌🏼

This new moon, I’m setting the intention of being less in the mindset of “all or nothing.” This comes into play a lot in my life whenever I am trying to reach a new goal or start a new project, and I know it stems from the perfectionism. This mindset has hurt me in the past when it comes to dieting, as well as healing and even starting my podcast.

When I was doing the Ketogenic diet to lose weight years ago, I was all the way in. I ate all the protein I needed, I made sure to never go over 20 net carbs a day, and when I did, I punished myself for it. I’d mentally beat the shit out of myself for going over as if that would change my entire progress. Even if it did, which it did not, I never deserved to treat myself the way I did. That was way more unhealthy than if I had eaten 20 more carbs!

When it comes to my healing journey, along the way I have found that there is so much to heal from, and I was starting to look at myself as this never-ending project. I was just a human full of issues and problems that would never be fully solved, so I either had to try harder or give up entirely- that is literally NOT the solution. I can be aware and mindful in my life, and the only way to truly grow and evolve is to keep living and just keep checking back in with yourself. I am not a project that needs consistent tweaking and fixing- I am an evolving human.

As far as the podcast that I’ve started behind the scenes, I find myself completely delaying and avoiding it, because I care a lot about it. I know that I want it to be good, but I also am actively fighting against my perfectionism while recording, because I already decided to not edit ANY of it. I ultimately decided that because I know that I will edit and edit and edit until there is nothing left, when my real intention with this podcast is to be raw and real. I can be raw and real at anytime, so I can truly record at anytime- but I get on the mindset of “all or nothing.”

I’m not pouring all of my effort and trying to make this the best (which also applies to everything in my life) my mind then goes: “well, then I shouldn’t do anything at all”- but that is my anxiety and perfectionism taking over. I know in my heart and soul that the black and white thinking is not how we’re meant to be in this world; it’s truly all gray. We’re allowed to be creative and flexible- in fact, it’s encouraged over being rigid.

I am releasing these rigid thoughts and feelings, and I am tuning into the creative flow of life. I welcome all love, abundance, and happiness to flow into my life, and may I be present enough to feel it all. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ✨

Thursday Morning Thoughts

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I’m tired and in bed before I have to get up for work, and just wanted to take a moment to jot down some random thoughts I’ve had recently:

  • peace and calmness can feel odd or off to someone who has experienced a lot of anxiety and hyper-vigilance
  • if you’re taught that everything is scary and is the end of the world, that makes sense why you’d think that. however, we can still unlearn / de-program those concepts that aren’t actually helping us
  • sometimes it feels like our brains are actively working against our healing journeys and that’s because they’re wired for survival.
  • I don’t need apologies from those who have hurt me- I apologize to myself for not speaking up and setting boundaries when needed.
  • we judge people we love because we want better for them, yet we get mad when people judge us or tell us how to live our lives because we know what’s best for ourselves. (plot twist: they already know, it’s just hard to change and develop new habits)
  • life on earth includes oceans, sunsets and sunflower fields, friendships, true love and hugs: it’s not all bad here

Early Morning

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Well, it’s 5:49am on Sunday and I am typing this blog post while laying in bed. I woke up about 20-30 minutes ago to use the bathroom, and when I was trying to fall back asleep, I heard a noise from the kitchen. I walked out there and our cat Mushu decided to knock over the recycle bin like a dog (she likes eating plastic).

I walked out there & told her “no” and pushed her away from the bin and then put it all back and went back to bed. Not even five minutes later I hear the same noise again. This time I decided I needed to go empty the recycling so I brought it downstairs and I came back up and redirected her to her water bowl. She drank some and then was distracted by a box that was on the floor for her and she started playing with that, which is honestly what I was hoping for.

In the midst of trying to pet her while she was in play mode (I really need to stop doing that) I ended up getting a pretty decent scratch on my arm. I have cleaned it and put some ointment and a bandaid on it now, and honestly I’m ready to go back to sleep for a few hours. I’m going to go over to my mom’s later this morning and I’m looking forward to our walk together. It’s supposed to be sunny and beautiful today, which is perfect for mother’s day!

My husband and I went over to his parents’ house yesterday and brought over some Olive Garden for dinner! It was nice to just sit and chat about life and their business. I’m going to start helping them with their website and social media, so that will be a fun project to work on! I’m hoping this keeps me busy and excited to continue to work on my own creative projects!

Wednesday

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I am feeling quite tired this morning, but I know it’s because I stayed up later than usual. Like I said in my last post, yesterday was my last day of dance class for a little bit while we go on spring break and I have my surgery. Typically I don’t get home until around 9pm after dance and then I really needed to shower; once I finished my shower, instead of going to bed, I made the mistake of scrolling on my phone – hence this morning’s exhaustion.

I will make it through it though! Even writing this is helping my brain to wake up. Ready for another productive day at work and I’m looking forward to resting once I get home! I hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Quick Thoughts 12-12-24

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• 24 is 12+12 and today is 12-12-24. something about that feels right and makes my heart feel good.

• I feel so much lighter mentally being off of social media (been off since 12/1)

• Focusing on letting go and minding my own business- not everything needs to be analyzed

• Kindness goes a long way

• Sometimes we don’t understand because we aren’t meant to

Thoughts Lately

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The more we tune into our own world and meet our own needs, the more we can meet the needs of humanity.

We aren’t meant to know everything, so we’re all ignorant to shit.

Leaders aren’t going to save you- no one will except for yourself.

Helicopter parents unintentionally create anxious children who do not trust themselves or the word around them.

Are you unmotivated or do you struggle with perfectionism?

We aren’t meant to control, we’re meant to surrender to what is.

Inner peace is power.

Holding Grudges

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Are you holding a grudge? About?

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m holding a grudge, because to me that feels like it’s something I consistently think about or give this angry, resentful energy towards someone or something. I don’t feel that way, but if someone has disrespected me and there has been no repair or apology, that is something I don’t forget.

I can forgive, mainly because I know that nothing is really personal and people do things based on their own self perception, but it’s not something I will just forget. I feel like it is important to remember when people show you who they are, and just adjust how you spend your time and energy accordingly.

old drunk draft: 1am thoughts

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it’s wild how people who don’t even know you have so many strong opinions about your relationship and future marriage. people get bothered when people wait so long to get married. but people also get bothered when people get married very fast. so in general people are just bothered.

todays thoughts about that draft:

true, people are always bothered. hell, I was bothered when I was writing that obviously LOL. in general, it always comes down to what you believe and what you know to be true for your life. there’s a reason things bother us, and usually it’s to show us what is truly important to us.

Leaning In

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Lean in to faith.

Release anxieties and fears.

The weight of the world is not meant for you to hold.

Trust that all is happening for you, not to you.

We’re only visiting, all is temporary.

Have you really lived? Or have you been hindered by fear?

If you died tomorrow- what would you regret not doing here on earth?

Are you future thinking? Are you stuck in the past?

How much of your time is spent in the present moment?

Choose Wisely

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What is sacred anymore?

What is intimate?

What is worth keeping in private?

Where is the discernment?

Does anyone keep anything to themselves anymore? To their closest loved ones?

Does anyone value having anything that is theirs, and only theirs?

Does every envious and evil eye have the right to see your most precious moments?

Does every judgmental person deserve your energy and attention?

Does everyone in your digital friends list meet the requirements to actually be a part of your life? To come into your home? To watch your kids?

Does every horny individual on your feed deserve to see your naked body? To look at you as an object? To assume you did this all for them?

Are the views and the likes worth it? The followers and possibility of going viral?

Does the external validation go far? Could you give yourself that validation without getting it from someone else?

Would you still like your posts if it was only for you and your loved ones? Would you be proud of your children doing and posting the same content?

In the worlds of real life and “reel” life, are you living in your values in both? Are you the same person both on and offline?

Everything in life is temporary, yet the content we post to the internet remains forever. It has become to normal to share every aspect of our lives online to both people we know and complete strangers… but just because something is normal, doesn’t mean it’s good.

In an age of being so “connected” through apps and technology, we are so far disconnected from ourselves.

We’ve become addicted to external validation to feed our unhealed wounds of unworthiness.

We’ve become addicted to the dopamine rush when we get a lot of views or engagement.

We’ve become addicted to our screens and “connecting” with others, while ignoring the real world around us.

And we can run around and say it isn’t our fault and blame everyone else, but it’s our responsibility now. We know now.

So sit with yourself, and ask:

What do you value most in this life? Are you living in your values?

What are you grateful for? Have you thought about how many blessings are around you on a daily basis?

What habits are you wishing to let go of? What habits have you been wanting to develop?

What do you do when you’re avoiding something else? Is this beneficial to you in anyway? Is this something you wish to continue?

We all get a little lost sometimes, but the important part is that we come back home to ourselves over and over again.

None of us get out of here alive. We deserve to live lives that we are proud of. We deserve lives that we will be grateful to look back on when we’re lying peacefully on our deathbeds.

You are in charge of you.

You get to decide who has access to your mind, to your body, and to your soul.

You get one life to live, and you are the one who chooses who and what you give your energy to.

Choose wisely.