Ctrl Alt Delete Social Media

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If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

When I read this, I definitely want to say smart phones and social media, because I feel that although they were both made for people to stay more “connected,” it actually has made us more disconnected with ourselves and each other.

Smart phones definitely keep us connected when we can call, text and/or facetime friends and family members. We are able to communicate and share photos and videos with each other, but also sometimes we do this when we are in the presence of other people.

How many times have you been out with a friend or a group and suddenly other people are just texting on their phone, or having a full blown conversation with someone else? Don’t get me wrong, there are situations where people need to be checking in or asking for something, but I’m talking about those times where it isn’t necessary and it actually just has you feeling like no one is present in the moment with you.

Social media was also made to stay in touch and see updates of people’s lives, but it has simultaneously created a lot more of comparison culture and this pressure to always post your best moments and memories for the world to see. People are always sharing the highlights and the best parts of life, and it can make people start to think that everyone has to live some extravagant life and be very rich in order to have happiness.

There are people that go into debt to have fancy events just for the social media pictures, or they put name brand bags on their credit cards just to be able to post and make it seem like they live a lavish life. Not to mention all of the emphasis on having the “perfect body” or “perfect face” which leads to the botox and fillers and surgeries that also cost hundreds to thousands of dollars.

And what is all of this for? To look good for other people? To have a better selfie? To feel as pretty as that one influencer looks in her post? Does she even look like that or did she use a filter or face-tune? Do the likes, views and followers actually fulfill your soul? Or are you craving deeper, authentic connections?

I feel like smart phones and social media have become more important to people than genuine conversation and communication. Some people post pictures with “friends” they don’t even like just because the collab gives more views (ex: Mom Tok/ Secret Lives of Mormon Wives). Some people post their “perfect relationship” when there’s actually abuse going on off screen (Gabby Petito, Shannan Watts). I know luckily that is not how everyone uses it, but it’s crazy how quick we are to believe false things, and social media perpetuates that culture.

I also understand the benefit of social media when it comes to business promotion, as it can help push products and business ideas. I also understand there are authentic people on social media as well, but overall I think we’d benefit as a society if social media was never invented. I think with social media, we’d be more connected to ourselves and one another, and I think in general humanity would be more authentic.

Social Media

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I got my first social media account when I was 16. I felt so behind compared to all of my friends, because I was just joining the online world of facebook for the first time, while they’ve already had years on myspace. I remember feeling excited to join, add all my friends and post pictures; it quickly became my new favorite hobby.

Being a teenager is hard as it is, so naturally I had a sassy attitude at home, but it seemed to start getting worse once I was using social media regularly. Of course I would ignore my mom when she’d tell me that and I assumed she just wanted to control me and take social media away, but once I was actually grounded from my social media/phone for a week, that is when I noticed she could be right. she had brought up to me how I seemed a lot calmer and happier, which is definitely not how a grounded teen would usually act, but I still wasn’t convinced.

After punishment was up, I was back connecting and posting my statuses with weird ass spelling that I now cringe at. I don’t know when I was allowed to then get my Instagram and Twitter, but the addiction and stress just grew from there. I couldn’t put my finger on it then, but now as an adult who still uses and honestly abuses social media now, I have a better understanding of myself.

I get overwhelmed and anxious when I am consuming too much information, and social media is a cesspool for horrifying videos, images, and emotionally charged content. In general, human beings have never consumed so much traumatic information in their lives, and just do a quick google search to see what that is doing to our brains. Even the NCBI lists research to show excessive screen time is causing depression and anxiety… so is it worth it?

For me, I’ve always enjoyed pictures and cute aesthetics, so with that I had decided I could eliminate twitter and facebook. I do still have facebook go on occasionally, but Instagram is the main one I’m still on, and I debate getting off of it entirely every day, because when I take my social media breaks I noticeably feel more at peace. I feel more in tune, less rushed, and overall just happier.

With or without socials, writing has always been my passion, and I am so grateful to have my blog and journals at home so I can still write and share my writing. I’d like to take time to get back into writing for the community I joined and just get back in touch with myself. Thank you for all who take the time to read this post, and let me know if you’ve had similar experiences with social media.

Prompt: Law Change?

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If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?

It may sound extreme, but I feel like children should not have social media or be on social accounts. The more studies and data that comes out after studying the millennials and our insane anxiety and depression shows how harmful comparison culture is and how addictive these social media apps are.

There is a loneliness epidemic because even though everyone is more technologically connected than ever, we’re also more disconnected from ourselves and other humans than ever as well! Children are addicted to likes and views, and are constantly competing against their peers for more attention or internet fame, when in reality these are not the problems any children should be worried about.

Not to mention how horrible bullying gets for children; not only could your entire class or school bully you, but if certain photos or videos were posted to the internet as a means to bully someone, that now has the potential to go viral and be seen by thousands of random people as well! What’s worse is sometimes it’s even parents posting their children’s embarrassing moments or tantrums online!

That also brings up the point of the family vlog channels on YouTube, where there are children who only know life with a camera and have no sense of privacy. These channels, if popular, tend to make money that unfortunately some of these kids will never see. There’s no rules or regulations around children as internet entertainers, and there are parents making tons of money off of their children’s online content.

I understand we need technology and social media for businesses and our jobs, but at what point will there be regulations for children on these apps? How much harm has to be caused in order for people to recognize how important it is to monitor how much time their child is spending online, or even just knowing what they’re doing when they’re in online! There are creeps all over the internet waiting for children who have parents that aren’t paying attention- I think it’s better to play it safe and delay children using any social media until adulthood.

Social Media Detox

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Sniffles and cuddles are making up my weekend, and I’m so glad that I took tomorrow off. I’m getting over a cold so it’s nice to just relax and spend time with my love. I was feeling good enough on Friday to get lunch and go shopping with my mom, and we had a great time getting stuff for an upcoming baby shower that we’re looking forward to!

I’ve been on a social media break this month, only using snapchat as I consider it to be basically like texting, but the other day I did realize I was watching those ad-ridden snap drama videos and that’s when I realized why it is also social media and a huge distraction. I logged out of Instagram which I honestly don’t know if I have ever done, and right now I don’t even miss it. I was noticing myself fall into the pressure of posting consistent reels and trying to keep up with engagement, but in reality I don’t have any need to do that. I want to increase my joy in life, not my stress levels.

When I first logged off, I was noticing how often I would just click into the app without even thinking about it, and honestly it was several times a day! I’d see I was logged out and immediately back out, but it has made me realize how instagram / social media has become a total impulse and addition in my life. I originally didn’t want to detox from Instagram because I don’t want to miss out on my favorite podcasters and creators who are looking for topics or questions for their content, or missing out on any giveaways or announcements, but I just kept reminding myself that what is for me won’t miss me.

I’ve been on this spiritual journey, and I honestly love the positive, magical posts I typically see in my feed- but I didn’t feel like I was living to my fullest potential and focusing on my own goals because I was constantly distracting myself with other people’s lives and content. I won’t lie, I’ve found myself still distracting myself with TV and maybe a little shopping, but this is all good information for me to have. I need to start being real and honest about how I abandon my own needs and goals, and I know I’m not the only human who falls into these patterns.

I have also spent time listening to podcasts, which honestly just makes me feel like I’m learning and it gets the wheels turning when I hear different opinions and perspectives. I also started reading a couple of books, but definitely haven’t dedicated enough time to reading as I originally planned. At least now as I actually sit and check in with myself, I am able to slow down and remind myself of what I feel is truly important. I have been resting and have had a packed lunch for work every day, which has definitely made me feel better!

I told myself I’d be taking a month of social media, and at this point I am honestly thinking about taking more than that off. I want to refocus and keep coming back to myself every single day, and make sure I am prioritizing what actually makes me feel happy and fulfilled. Reading, movement, music, podcasts, conversation… I have to actively make room for these things that are helping me to reach my goals. It’s 11:11- I think that’s a sign to end on that note.

Sending love to all, and some extra to those who need it right now.

Ignorance or Negligence

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I saw this disturbing article yesterday about a mom that has been accused of exploiting her three-year-old daughter on Tik Tok. The article featured other Tik Tok videos of women who were digging into the rabbit hole of her account. They were exposing the horrific comments that GROWN MEN were leaving on her videos, such as “do another bath video with less bathing suit” and other disgusting posts.

Others on social media say that the mom who is posting these videos of her daughter is definitely aware and sees these comments, yet still continues to post her to their millions of followers. There are videos including her in a bathing suit having bath time, as well as her trying to put a tampon in??? She is clothed but even so, how on earth is that necessary and why would you post that knowing there are sickening people on the internet, let alone on your page?!

I can understand that kids are kids and taking videos of them being adorable and loving is 100% normal; it makes sense to want to save these memories for yourself and to show them later! Also, wanting to share these memories with friends/family is normal and they all usually appreciate it! However, the random people on the internet who don’t know you or your child, they don’t need to see into your every day life. Most people can agree that it is absolutely NEVER okay to sexualize a child and this is a problem with “society,” but unfortunately this is the reality, and we have to live in the world as it is.

Child sex trafficking is happening in every U.S. State, as well as everywhere around the globe. I understand that ignorance can be bliss, but when it is YOUR CHILD who is involved, it is your duty as a parent to keep them safe! If you are aware of the risk, and you see 400,000 creepy men saving your toddlers videos, at what point does ignorance turn into negligence? Is the money and attention earned from posting her really worth risking her safety?

Speaking of monetization, the article I read also briefly discussed how there’s a lot of grey area with child labor laws and social media. Of course again, you assume or hope that a lot of the videos posted are honest moments that were caught on camera, but when you’re forcing your kids to do/say certain things for the camera while you’re being paid for the views, is that breaking a law?

Technically no, because they aren’t protected by any child labor laws… but that doesn’t mean that will last forever. Another thought I had was what if those children turn 18 and then decide they want to sue their parents for all the money they made off of them? Could they do that? Children can’t make certain decisions and they aren’t considered an “adult” until 18, so could they sue for exploitation?

It’s impossible to know what the future holds; I’d like to believe that most people are doing their best with the information and resources they have, but when I see innocent children being put in harms way it sometimes makes it harder to believe that. I hope to be a parent one day, and although it is impossible to protect them from everything, there are still reasonable, common sense steps that can, and should be taken. Likes, follows, attention, money… none of that is worth a child’s safety. #SaveOurChildren #RISEUPGETLOUD

SOURCES: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/wren-eleanor-exploitation-tiktok/ https://www.unicefusa.org/child-trafficking-us

Check out these organizations working hard to Save Our Children:

Our Rescue: https://www.ourrescue.org/ Thorn: https://www.thorn.org/ CAST: https://www.castla.org/

Another day, Another post

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Today was my second Wednesday off after starting my new schedule! I got breakfast with a good friend for her birthday this morning, and once I was home I did some dishes and laundry. I made sure to get my groceries yesterday after work instead of today, so I had the whole day free to do whatever!

I listened to a few podcasts, went on a walk, and even was able to join Gabrielle Bernstein’s zoom call where she recorded an episode of “Dear Gabby!” I honestly almost chickened out, but I was so glad I didn’t! There were about 80 participants in the meeting, all of us could chat and we remained muted unless we were picked to ask her a question!

It was nice listening to other people and remembering that we are all truly so similar; imagine what we could accomplish if we’d just take the time to listen and have real conversations with others. I honestly even cried listening to her speak and answer questions, and again it was just happy tears feeling like I was where I was supposed to be!

Over the weekend I picked up a couple of Gabby’s books, one of which my mom was nice enough to get for me as an early birthday gift! We had gone out for breakfast together and went to the bookstore afterwards, and that’s where I picked up “Judgement Detox,” and then I found “Happy Days.” I was originally looking for “Happy Days,” so when I finally found it my mom said that would be my gift from her and my dad for my birthday, and I am so grateful!

I haven’t started them yet, as I am already currently reading two books, but I am ready to dedicate time to reading more again so I can move onto her books next! I have been feeling good lately and plan to keep it that way; I had to mute some accounts on instagram just to escape from some of the negativity and drama, and honestly I am proud of myself for setting that boundary.

For a while now I haven’t followed any news or radio shows, because I am tired of consuming tragedy after tragedy and feeling like everything I see is horrible. I’d rather feed my brain with positivity, growth, and happiness. I prefer to not be ignorant to the current events, but I can also seek information out on my own and try to find unbiased sources, rather than believing everything that people share on social media.

Social media definitely has major impacts on mental health (just google it), which is why I do my best to keep everything on my page positive and I like/save positive posts to help the algorithm share more of those things to my feed. We choose what we consume on a daily basis, make sure you pay attention to what you feed your brain.

Realization

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After stepping back and deleting platforms, I am falling out of my addiction to social media. I have felt overall more happy and less anxious, but I’m also now seeing how terrible social media can be for people/mental health. The constant comparison to others, posting to seek validation from people who don’t really care, focusing so much on professional photos and angles to appear in a certain way… where did our priorities go?

Why do we feel the need to share photos of our dinners, our families, our vacations, etc. with random people from high school/college/previous jobs who we wouldn’t even invite out to coffee? Why do we care so much about posting our personal lives on the internet to be on there forever? Is this actually fun, or are their issues that we have within ourselves that need to be addressed?

Technically, if we are truly happy with our life, we would not feel the need to share our accomplishments or fun moments with anyone and everyone who will hear about it. It may be fun to hear from some old friends who are happy for you, but at the same time, what are you truly seeking? And why can’t you find that happiness within yourself and your current life? Those are the questions we should be seeking.

On the flip side, we have also seen the bad sides of social media that hurt our futures. We have seen what happens when people go back and dig up old posts/pictures back to the surface, and sometimes things get taken out of context. Anyone can pull up anything that was posted years ago and get someone “cancelled.” Sometimes words or pictures can be perceived in a different way than what was intended (especially now when everyone thinks the world should tip-toe around them), but that’s the risk you take when you post.

I have this feeling that as the world of cyber-bullying continues to grow, kids are going to start using each other’s parents’ posts as ways to bully each other. Can you imagine having to sit down with your child and talk to them about bullying and they look at you and say “my friend Billy said that he has pictures from your only fans.” LOL, I mean it may seem far fetched due to “age content,” but look how many kids sign up for 13+ facebook at 11, or play video games meant for 17 and older!

If parents aren’t paying attention, or aren’t really tech savvy themselves, children can really do whatever they want! I had friends in middle school on MySpace/Facebook behind their parents’ backs and were able to keep it secret for months, if not years! Now just imagine these kids pulling up each other’s parents’ instagrams/youtube/tiktoks to embarrass each other… are you going to be okay with them looking at your previous posts and videos? Are you thinking about how your kids are going to perceive your posts later on?

What you post on the internet is there to stay forever; filters are easy to remove, content is easy to manipulate, and there are also a lot of smart, evil people who are great at hacking and sharing information that you never thought would be “public.” Just keep in mind what you’re posting, and honestly why you’re posting it! This is not only for yourself, but for your children and their futures.

Social media break

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I’ve decided to take some time away from Facebook and Twitter, as the constant hatred is disheartening to watch and absorb, and I refuse to become bitter like most the people I see on the internet. I have control over what I take in and what I do with my time, and lately I’ve been feeling like social media has been a waste of time.

I love the idea of keeping in touch with old friends and distant family, but when people are constantly putting down others for having different opinions or views it makes you wonder if it’s really worth it. I’ve found myself “muting” and “unfollowing” many people’s feeds because the never ending negativity is becoming too much.

I appreciate productive, respectful conversations and I feel that we as humans can accomplish so much more when we listen to each other and try to learn from one another, rather than listening to speak and in hopes to “win” the conversation or argument. It just seems lately that has been hard to find in my social media bubbles.

I want to take this time to look inward and work on myself, as everyone can make improvements.