I have transformed the part of myself that was scared to be seen. I posted my raw, filter free reels this year on IG as a way to just practice letting my real thoughts out in a public way. I transformed myself into a more confident version of myself, and I am much less fearful of sharing my thought and opinions. I no longer care if people don’t like me, because I know who I am and I have the best support around me.
I have learned to be more patient with myself. I’ve had some hard breakdowns this year for sure, and I felt frustration when they were the same ones I have had before, but there’s a reason they resurfaced. I now was able to move through those hard emotions with more maturity and understanding, and it slowly becomes less and less intense. I am learning how to be my own best friend and hype-woman, because I know I am a great hype-woman for my friends, and I deserve to give myself that same energy.
In 2026, the confident, best friend version of me is ready to take over. Hyping myself and others up, spreading joy and laughter, and just being a bright, bold light in this world. There’s no more time to shrink, because when we shine, we allow others to shine too.
I didn’t wake up with presents under the tree, but I still woke up with holiday glee! Today my husband and I are taking a little mini trip to enjoy some indoor water parks, swim up bars, and some shopping! See, Christmas can still be fun when you’re 30!
I’m currently waiting in the longest Starbucks line ever to get us some coffees for the road, and I’m honestly not even bothered by the line. I’m just enjoying the fact that it’s a peaceful holiday, and I get to enjoy all of my favorite things this holiday! I love water parks and shopping, and I especially love when I get to do those things with my favorite person!
The sun is shining through the sliding glass door across the room as I type this at my standing desk. It is Christmas eve, and although most may be wishing for a white Christmas, I am grateful that we are not getting any snow this year. This is definitely a selfish wish simply because my husband and I are taking a little mini-Christmas vacation tomorrow and we have to drive a couple hours away, so I prefer to have some clean roads for the trip!
I know sometimes weird feelings come up for me during the holidays, and this year has been a little of the same, but also a little different. Sometimes I find myself playing the comparison game: you know, wishing I had the huge family that got together with fun Christmas outfits and had kids running around screaming with joy. This year, I still do not have these things, but what is different is that I am just feeling at peace; I am feeling that I can fully lean into faith and know that I can trust in divine timing in my life, as it has all worked out better than I could have planned.
This holiday season, I have very close friends of mine who are pregnant, and another close friend who just welcomed her new baby to the family less than a month ago. I am absolutely overjoyed for all of them, especially because my pregnant friends have wanted to be pregnant for a long time! It also just gives me hope for my own future family planning, as sometimes I let fears creep in regarding that topic. I can’t lie, I have had moments where part of me is like “OMG I need to get pregnant now and start our family now!” but I quickly recognize that I am lost in comparison, and instead I just focus on leaning into the joy of how amazing this is for all of my friends!
We’re in the last month of the year, and I am feeling some weird closure around 2025 that feels weirdly final. I feel like I have learned a lot from repeated lessons this year, and one of the most often repeated lesson is that I should always just lean into faith over fear. I know that my thoughts and emotions can be a bit more extreme, so when I get stressed/anxious, I often catastrophize and get myself all worked up and it is always for no reason. In the end, things will work out how they are supposed to, and no matter what, I can always handle it. Life is chaotic and tragic and full of so many feelings, but it is also immensely beautiful and magical all at the same time.
As I go into 2026, I want to be my own best friend. I want to hype myself up the way that I hype my friends up and cheer them on. When my negative self-talk comes in and tries to make me feel stupid and ruminate in the failures, I know that it is just remnants of the traumatized me, and I just have to give myself love and grace. I do not hold anyone else to the insane, perfectionistic standards that I have created for myself, nor do I deserve to have that pressure on myself either. Being a perfectionist just breeds stress and tension, and I am letting go of this as I keep leaning into faith and divine timing.
2026 is a “1” year in numerology, which is looked at as a fresh reset- a true new beginning. I am all about signs from the universe and leaning into angel numbers, and I am leaning into that energy of new beginning and using it to boost my motivation! I am working on a creative project and I want to lean into that more in the new year, especially because I always feel so happy after I’ve made progress on it! It is also is a fun way for me to let go of perfectionism, and just focus on authenticity and joy.
It has been a while since I have made a longer post on here, and today felt like a great day to take some time to just reflect. It has been an interesting year, and I am excited that my husband and I are going to have a fun Christmas together and this will hopefully be the start of a new annual tradition! Sending love to everyone who needs a little extra this season, and I hope your holiday season brings you love and peace.
Yesterday was a ROUGH day for me. Between work, PMS, someone hitting my car with their door and not telling me, it’s safe to say I screamed the entire car ride home. I also believe I frightened the driver in front of me with my screaming as they sped TF off ahead of me LOL.
After releasing that anger on the way home, and then crying once I got home, I felt relief. I had time to reflect and recognize that all of the shit bothering me was not going to matter in a years time. Also everything felt amplified considering my period was arriving just a couple hours after that nice cry session.
Today I am making it a better day- just focusing on my work while listening to Morbid (podcast). Tomorrow is the full moon which is always a time for release, and that’s why the buildup to it feels so intense. Side note, I also am such a witchy weirdo that I’m all excited to be synced back up with the moon- it makes me feel like I am aligned.
As much as all of this life shit can suck, there’s also so much beauty and so many blessings around, and I’d rather spend my life focusing on the good so I don’t turn into one of those bitter, crotchety old people LOL.
As someone who enjoys seeing angel numbers, I love that today’s date is 111! When I see 111, I think “New Beginnings,” and “Intuition.” I’m definitely feeling the new beginnings vibe, and I’m trying to look at November as a nice reset, and as we enter the colder months, I want to be intentional with my time. I am trying to find balance with social media, and I feel another break coming up right about now. I’m looking forward to this month ahead!
I remember when I used to hate Sundays, mainly because I’d let the dread of Monday ruin the day for me. Now I absolutely LOVE my Sundays and look at them as days to be soft, slow and full of love. Most Sundays, my husband and I spend a majority of the morning laying in bed. I used to have so much guilt when I’d rest; all I’d think about were the tasks and to-do lists, but now I can let myself lay around and understand that rest is necessary and I am supposed to give myself time to recover from life LOL.
We’re gonna see our friends today, I told her I’d help take photos of her and her family for a little maternity shoot! I love taking photos and I love helping her- she helped us with our engagement photos and they turned out amazing! It’s wild what great photos you can get with an iPhone! I’m excited to see how they all turn out! It’s a chilly day, but the sun it out and the leaves are changing in some places so I’m hopeful we will get some great shots!
Halloween is Friday, which is one of my favorite holidays!! As far as I know, I’m really not doing anything for it this year! I have a couple friends coming over on Saturday night to chill and catch up, so that’s really what I’m looking forward to! I may do a little basic costume for work on Friday with something I have in my closet already- we will see what happens!
I am excited to make this a good week, and I’m just feeling like so much goodness is on the horizon! Sending love and prayers to all who need a little extra right now- may you find peace and clarity where you need it.
finding light in the dark 