Happy Sunday!
The sun is shining and my iced coffee was extra satisfying this morning, so no complaints here. What you focus on expands, so keep that in mind today while you let your thoughts wander. May you find beauty and peace in the most unexpected places, and may you give yourself the same love and grace you give others. Sending love and positivity to everyone this Sunday. ♡
Today is a gorgeous day and I am just so happy that I get to spend the day with my husband. I’m currently in the waiting room just to get some routine labs, and afterwards we’re planning to get breakfast and just have a relaxing day! We’re hoping to break into the Hogwarts Lego set that we were gifted for our wedding! We also are planning to get our thank you cards done this weekend as well.
Since gratitude always makes life so much better, I’m just going to list some of the things that I am feeling thankful for lately:
-the relationship I have with my husband
-my friendships
-our supportive family
-having a reliable vehicle (shoutout to the automatic start now that it’s in the 30s in the am)
-my health / mental health
-access to water and food
-our home
-mel robbins podcast
-qveen herby’s music
-dunkin iced coffee
-the photo app Lapse (it’s basically a digital disposable camera- see photos below)
I’m so tired this morning as I write this, but wanted to take a moment for gratitude.
I’m grateful for my job, as I am blessed to not work in a toxic environment any longer.
I am grateful for my health, as I can do all things on my own without assistance which is a huge blessing.
I am grateful for my husband, who is respectful, kind, and supportive of me and who I am.
I am grateful for our financial state, although there is always room to improve, we are blessed to be where we are today.
What we choose to see, we will see more of. When we are grateful, we will see all of the blessings around us. I choose to see the light in the world, and I choose to recognize just how blessed I am.
Happy Friday the 13th!
I know most people feel like today is superstitious and unlucky, but I am the opposite. Today I am feeling blessed, grateful, and overall full of love! The wedding is only 19 days away and I am so ready to be married to my fiancé.
I also cannot get over that we’re getting married on our 13th anniversary, and 13 has always been his lucky number. We also happen to have a new moon solar eclipse the day of our wedding! Although we won’t see the eclipse, it’s exciting to have a celestial event going on during our special day!
Everything feels like divine timing and alignment, and I am so happy to be present to it all.
What does your ideal home look like?
My ideal home is likely a light brick or maybe just a light grey house with a black garage and black shutters. Ideally we have a nice, covered porch that I could enjoy sitting on no matter the weather. I see a three-car garage with a big driveway, as well as a decent sized front yard, however it doesn’t compare to the large back yard.
As much as I think I’d love a fenced in porch, I also have this dream of having so much land in between me and my neighbors that it just wouldn’t be necessary. We would also have a nice deck with a hot tub and some nice patio hammock chairs. We’d have a fire pit out in the yard with plenty of seating around it for fun nights with family and friends. I also would have a dedicated area for gardening and leave room for the chicken coup I hope to have one day!
Inside our home, it is freshly painted a light grey color for the main living spaces, and lined with that cool brown wood flooring throughout the house, with the occasional huge area rugs placed in living room, bedrooms and basement. I picture the living room, the kitchen, dining area, and a separate reading room/office all on the main floor, along with a half bathroom. I also see a mud room/laundry room duo which will be nicely organized.
We have an open concept kitchen with black appliances and accents that beautifully complement the white colored cabinet, and we finally have a fridge where we can get ice and water on the door. We have a separate dining area with room to seat 10-12 people, incase we ever feel like hosting for the holidays. In this room we have a nice window to see outside, so we can appreciate the view.
Upstairs we have a loft, which is set up to be a fun, chill area. We have a mounted TV and a comfy sectional with our games and movies organized on shelves. Ideally we also have a window up here that will open up so we can enjoy listening to the outside world.
Also upstairs we have a master bedroom with bathroom, two smaller bedrooms, and a separate bathroom with a tub and shower combo. Ideally the bedrooms will be for each of our two future children, and they will hand to share that common bathroom. As for our master bedroom, we would have a ginormous walk in closet with built in drawers and extra organization.
The master bathroom would have a large jet tub and an even larger shower with two shower heads on opposite sides of each other. We’d have shelving built into the shower for our soaps/shampoos and we would also have the ability to sit so it’s easier to shave my legs LOL. We would have his and hers sinks with plenty of storage underneath, and a nice linen closet for all of our towels and extra shower supplies.
As far as the basement, it would definitely be finished. Ideally it could serve as a wellness area, focused on fitness and meditation. I’d love to have a wall that is all mirrors and we could have an epoxy floor which we would also do in our garage. We would also have storage area down there with an extra fridge and ideally another half bathroom.
For now, we are grateful to be in our lovely townhome. It suits us well for this life we are living, and as fun as it is to dream about our ideal home, I have to acknowledge that right now we are living one of the very dreams I had as a young girl. I live with a respectful, caring man who loves me for me, and I get to marry him in exactly one month!!! Just as this dream is coming to fruition, I know that our ideal home is out there waiting for us, and it will be ready when we are. Until then, I am grateful for this wonderful life, and I am so happy that I am present to enjoy it.
I release any tension stored within my shoulders and hips, letting go of the traumas that wish to stay buried within me.
I release any shame that my inner child carries, letting go of hurtful words and beliefs that were never mine to hold onto.
I release the limiting beliefs that float around in my brain, letting go of perfectionism and fears that only hinder me from following my dreams.
I accept and am open to the loving support from the universe, please allow me to be a light in this world.
I accept and am open to the abundance that is waiting for me, please allow me to make room for the gifts that are meant for me.
I accept and am open to peace and harmony, please allow me to release any blockages that are keeping me from that state of mind.
I am so grateful to be here healing and growing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I feel like I haven’t really sat down to write an actual long blog post in a while. I guess I could go back and look, and maybe this just feels different because I am writing this on my laptop, rather than my phone. Regardless, I am just happy to write and happy with this season of my life. I feel so supported by loved ones around me, and it has been such a beautiful year. It is crazy to think that in just 6 weeks, I will be marrying the love of my life!
Whenever I visualize seeing him at the end of the aisle and up at the alter, I cannot help but feel so warm and full of pure joy. We have been building this foundation for many years- I mean, we’re getting married on our 13th anniversary! I feel so grateful to have such a loving, respectful man as my life partner. I have been seeing so many signs that feel like direct support from the divine, and I am so thankful for all of the love we have received from friends and family.
This year also has felt very transformative for me and for my relationships. I have been able to overcome fears and have difficult conversations that have only strengthened the connections. Me hiding my true feelings or staying quiet when I feel uncomfortable was not good for anyone. I always thought it was better to keep the peace and not try to question anyone’s opinions or actions when I was confused or felt differently, but that was creating inauthenticity within the friendship.
I feel that if you truly want a healthy relationship with another person, whether platonic or romantic, you have to be honest with yourself and each other. For me, leaning into authenticity is one of the best ways to do this. Saying what you need to say with love and good intentions, even if it means feelings could come up, is better than holding in all of your true thoughts and basically pretending to be okay with everything. Any relationship you lose from being authentic isn’t a loss; we deserve to be surrounded with people who love us for who we are.
For years I made sure everyone around me always felt at ease or as comfortable as possible, putting their own needs before my own, and now I vow to live a life where I take into account my own comfort level. I am allowed to speak up when uncomfortable. I am allowed to say “no” when my normal reaction would be to say “yes” out of obligation. I owe it to myself and to my inner child to trust my own instincts and to set boundaries where needed. I am an empathetic person, but I recently read a quote that said: “empathy without boundaries is self-sabotage.”
Honestly, I am feeling quite excited for what the future holds, and I am eager to continue leaning into authenticity and be proud of who I am, as I am. The more I pay attention to my emotions and my triggers, the more I learn about myself and what I need and what aids in my inner peace. Knowing what I need allows me to do those things for myself, but also communicate with loved ones when I need to set certain boundaries. I am the one who is guaranteed to be with me until my soul leaves this Earth, and I deserve to give myself peace and love during this lifetime.
With these words, I cleanse my mind, body and soul of all negativity and limiting beliefs that are blocking me from my full potential. I call my energy back to me, purified and wrapped in abundance, allowing me to feel refreshed and recharged. This life is worth living, not just being a fearful bystander; I am deserving of a peaceful, fulfilling life.
I am so grateful for this life I have. I am marrying the love of my life: my high school sweetheart. Literally the dreams I had as a teenager are coming to fruition, and I have been living the dreams for so many years now. I am blessed that I wake up next to him every day in our comfortable bed. We are so lucky to have our home together, along with our three beautiful cats. Mushu is actually laying on me as I type this right now.
I am grateful to be in a great work environment after so many years of toxic bosses and coworkers. I actually enjoy going to work and am happy with the owners, and I feel like I am meant to be there. I am happy that I am appreciated- I was even given a surprise raise after five months of being at this office! I am just feeling so very blessed to have this job.
I am grateful to have so many good friends, and also for the fact that I still have a lot of my family around. I have clothes to wear and food in my fridge. The lights are on and the water is running, and the bills are paid. This life is beautiful and abundant- and I am forever grateful for it. I am grateful to have worked on my mental health enough to be present for these blessings around me. I am grateful to be supported and guided by my angels; by source.
Channeled Message: We are all the sun, the moon, and the stars. We are all living and breathing and ever-changing beings, all with the same energy of love within us. For some it is buried beneath trauma. For some it is buried beneath ego. For some it may feel like it does not exist, but it does. We are all love and light, and the sooner we tap into it, the better the world will be.
I have been feeling so present in my life lately, which has also been making me cry a lot LOL. I have been really in my feelings about the wedding, and I find myself visualizing us just beaming at each other at the alter and the tears just start flowing. I’ve dreamt of marrying this man for so many years, and it’s finally coming to fruition. We’re just over two months away from the special day, and I’m just soaking in this lovely time.
I also am about to go on a girls trip with a couple of my close friends from high school! We are seeing the gorgeous, witchy rap goddess herself: Qveen Herby!!! I am so stoked to see her live. I just discovered her music a couple of years ago and I just love listening to an independent artist who shares her healing transformation through her art. She’s not ashamed of who she was or is, she is just filling embracing her truest self; I feel like this concert is going to have the most immaculate energy. We’re also celebrating my birthday on this trip; I’m so excited to start off my last year in my 20s with my best friends!!
Aside from all of the upcoming events, I also recently had a great breakdown/breakthrough within myself and with another close friend of mine. Without going too much into detail, there was an event that triggered me that I could not ignore, and because I had ignored many other triggers throughout the years of our relationship, all of those memories came flooding through. Although the start of the interaction wasn’t how I exactly planned, I am positive that it was all supposed to happen this way, and I am glad that it did.
We were able to sit down in person, not once, but twice for a couple of difficult conversations. We are both people who grew up without seeing healthy conflict resolution, so we both were super anxious going into these discussions, even with our significant others joining us. There were heated moments, but no one got disrespectful or rude, which was honestly relieving and appreciated. I always have to think of worst case scenarios, so I was pleasantly surprised when this all ended on high notes.
Overall, now I feel I can have clear, authentic communication with my friend, when in reality I didn’t always feel that way before. As I’ve talked about many times in this blog, I am a recovering people-pleaser, and with that I have had to realize how much of a disservice I have been giving my friendships by not being open and honest when I’m feeling bothered by something. I swept things under the rug because it felt easier than facing conflict, especially when my mind always goes to the worst possible case scenario- but this only harmed myself and my friendships.
They had no clue I was bothered, I built up resentment that I could easily push away, but in reality we will end up getting triggered again and then all of the things we “pushed away,” just resurface. Until we address and resolve our issues, the cycles will continue to repeat. This time around, I did not want that to continue. No matter how difficult a conversation may be, I have to stay true to myself. I deserve to feel authentic and comfortable in my life and my relationships, so it’s up to me to be honest with myself and with those I love.
I am feeling so good this season. Astrologically it makes sense considering it is now Leo season and your girl here is a Leo herself! Leo sun, and rising here, and I am finally leaning into my confidence and my authenticity. I am so proud of myself for all of the work I’ve been doing for my mental health, and I am excited to see how much I grow over this next year. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍✨
Hey little girl,
How are you doing today?
Did you have a good day at school?
Did you go outside and play?
I hope you had your time to escape
From the anger and chaos within the walls
Of the apartment on that second floor
Where dingy carpet lines the eerily long halls
You often weren’t aware of how bad it was
Not in the younger years that is
Because you watched all your friends in their own struggles
You were more worried about her pain and his
You were good at removing yourself from the suffering
You were always able to see the good and humor in things
Sometimes that humor could be looked at as dark
But it helped get through the bitter words and stings
You were so observant and smart
Too grown up for your young age
You could sense when things were off
Even when they tried to keep you in your cage
You knew that life wasn’t normal
Even if it seemed better than others you saw
You started your plans on how you would free yourself
And looking back at your diligence, I admire in awe
You got to work as soon as you could
Working multiple jobs and saving away
You knew the environment you grew up in
Was not where you were destined to stay
You planned and you prayed
Staying both focused and hopeful
You trusted your gut when others had doubt
And along the way, you found someone very special
A partner, a lover; someone who loved you for you
You both fell so hard and so fast
You knew deep in your heart, that he was the one
And even at such a young age, you knew it would last
You have always followed your intuition
You listened to the knowing within your soul
I am so proud and happy for you, sweet child
For you both took on and released control
You knew what was within your power
You are the reason I am here today, happy and healing
You did everything you could to build your ideal life
One full of peaceful, lovely feelings
You are so strong and resilient
Even today, you reside within my heart and bones
Together, we get to live our favorite lives
And we get to create a happy, healthy home
Thank you for your empathetic nature
Thank you for your strength and determination
Thank you for your playfulness and sensitivities
Thank you for your love and admiration
Thank you for your open mind
Thank you for your appreciation of the little things
Thank you for showing me the beautiful parts of life
Thank you for showing me what trusting myself brings
finding light in the dark 