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Friday Gratitude Check
blogI am grateful for so many things in my life, and I do my best to remind myself of how blessed I am. One of the ways I do this is by thinking about ten things I am grateful for every morning, and think of why I am grateful for each of those things. Of course I don’t always remember to do it, and also sometimes I’ll do less than ten as I’m usually doing this out loud in my car and I often get distracted by music.
The important thing is that I always come back to this and I still make sure I am turning to gratitude during stressful times. This morning I’ll list a few blessings here, and then finish speaking them aloud on my way to work- I encourage anyone who reads to also take a moment to think of something you’re grateful for right now in your life! Life gets hard and it can be easy to forget how good we really have it, when we’re constantly focusing on the negative.
Blessing #1: My boyfriend. I am so blessed to have a life partner who loves me for me, who respects me, and who is always supportive of me. I am lucky to have someone with similar life goals and values, as we can both push each other to reach those goals. I am so thankful for this man every day, and make sure to appreciate him as well. Thank you.
Blessing #2: Therapy. I am so blessed to be able to afford therapy and to have found a good therapist. She has been able to help me work through so much of my childhood traumas to help me understand why I am the way I am, and has helped me to learn to love and understand myself. Thank you.
Blessing #3: My job. I am blessed to have a job in which I can pay my bills, have insurance, vacation time, and still have some fun money left over. I am grateful that I have a good schedule, I don’t work weekends, and I like the people I work with. I don’t dread going to work, and I love getting off early on Fridays! Thank you.
There are so many things in life that we overlook or take for granted, when really we should be focusing on the present blessings we have! I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead, and I hope you find time to look at how blessed you truly are. ✨
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Weekend Vibes
blogThis weekend my cousin from out of town drove in to visit us, and him, my boyfriend and I have all had a blast together so far! We went out for a late dinner Friday night, and on Saturday morning we all went and met up with my parents and my aunt and uncle for breakfast. After that we hit up a dispensary to get some goodies so that we were extra hungry for the food truck festival that was happening later on!
We went to the food truck festival and I was so excited when I saw a funnel cake truck! I literally had been saying all day on Friday that I hoped there would be a funnel cake truck, and wow they did not disappoint! Today will probably be more of a chill day, my cousin is gonna head home sometime in the afternoon and then I have to re-twist my boyfriend’s dreadlocks later on!
The week ahead I want to focus on staying in a good routine with the gym and making sure I’m making time for myself to read/write and possibly meditate. I keep saying I want to try it, but also I know I have a problem with staying still sometimes.
On Friday the pool in my town has a 21+ night event going on; I’m hoping it’s warm outside so that my friend and I can go like we were planning to! Other than that I know one of my other friends was thinking about going on a hike next Sunday, which would be fun to do as well if the weather is nice! We will see where life takes us! I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday and has a great week ahead!
Grateful
blogI have been feeling so grateful for my life lately. Spending my days with my boyfriend and being more intentional with my time has made quite a difference, but I can’t pretend I don’t have my moments. Even yesterday I found myself getting a bit overwhelmed thinking about tasks that had to be done, but once I started doing them I realized they literally took up less than an hour of time!
It really is all perspective, and when you’re in a stressed mood, everything feels more stressful. Just like when you’re in a happy mood, everything feels easier! Getting my emotions and body in alignment is what I am currently working on, but have definitely been slacking on the nutritional end. I have been trying to get moving every day though, even if it’s just stretching for a few minutes; even that few minutes though can make a world of a difference!
It always feels good doing something for yourself, and I want to keep focused on getting into a good routine and healthier habits. I also want to get into a better sleep routine, going to bed earlier and waking up earlier is a goal of mine, especially because I want to start journaling and/or meditating in the mornings. I want to get out of the habit of reaching for my phone the second I wake up, as it is truly an overload for our brains to go from rest to an overstimulation of information.
This morning I didn’t look at any social media before I left for work, and I even listened to a short Jay Shetty podcast on the way to work! That alone made me feel more productive and started off my day on the right foot. I’m going to the gym with a friend after work, so that should be a nice time too! I hope everyone has a great week ahead!
Weekend Note
blogI didn’t feel like writing yesterday, but I did write a note in my phone trying to dissect myself this weekend, so I’ll post that below! I hope everyone has a good week ahead!
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why do i doubt myself?
is it hearing it from the man I was supposed to grow up admiring? is it because I became a people pleaser at the expense of my own authenticity so I don’t trust myself enough? I don’t think I’m strong enough because I’ve felt weak for so long? I feel like my brain is broken, so how could I make the right decisions? I was so sheltered & felt so stupid, but the one thing I knew was money. I knew it & I blew it- but that’s not entirely true. I re-prioritized & got used to living a certain lifestyle. I drive a nice car, I get my nails done sometimes (less often than before), and I feed my iced coffee addition. These are things that make me happy, and having a reliable car is also a must. But I feel like because I don’t save as much anymore, and I “spend money on stupid stuff,” I’m a failure, so therefore a reason to doubt myself. I often feel guilty and get mad at myself after I go spend money on nails or food, I’m like why am I wasting money? How could I keep doing this? But I feel like I’m in a test with money, and I am working to win this battle. I will win.
New Week
blogStarted off my Monday back in the gym! I took a couple weeks off just dealing with sunburn and fatigue, but I’m feeling good today! I got to hang with my best friend yesterday, we went out to breakfast and then took her son to the petting zoo and park! Last night my boyfriend also dyed my hair dark for me, which I am loving!! He has to touch up a couple spots today, but overall he did a great job as usual!
This week I want to focus on working out, going on walks, reading and listening to podcasts where I can. I’ve also been non-stop listening to the Russ playlist I made that has his whole setlist on it as we get to see him this Friday! I’m so excited to go to a concert after literally years of not being to any, and I’m even more excited that I get to go with my boyfriend!
Overall I feel like this will be a good week, and I hope it goes well for all of you as well!
Is it what it is
blogI’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by life this past week; it has a lot to do with my PMS and lack of sleep, but also just unexpected life stuff. I had a conversation with myself out loud in my car last night trying to get to the root of everything, and I am realizing I still have a lot of guilty feelings and am still very hard on myself.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am allowed to relax and take breaks, and that am a human being who is allowed to have emotions. Life gets stressful, and we don’t have control over much that happens, but I can control how I react and respond to situations. I can also look inward and ask myself questions to try to help myself move forward and understand myself more.
We all have bad days, but that doesn’t mean we have bad lives. Focusing on my blessings and practicing gratitude is what is helping me through these situations, and although it’s a struggle sometimes, I am proud of myself for truly trying to make it a habit to think more positively, no matter the situation. I don’t spiral out of control like I used to, which is progress in and of itself.
I hope everyone else is surviving this week!
Some Stress
blogWell today was an interesting day to say the least, however I want to start off this post with saying how grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life who knows how to help me when I’m having anxiety. I am also blessed that he’s so calm and knows how to fix things (or can learn quickly from youtube), and that we are able to afford to fix things when they break.
This morning our hot water tank went out, so we had to purchase one of those and are going to be installing that here shortly. I did originally start to get upset and irritable because I started having money fears as I usually do. I had no clue how much it would be to fix and I started feeling my brain start spiraling down into how we will just always have more and more expenses coming up.
Luckily I was able to calm down when my boyfriend said he wasn’t worried about it, and I was able to remind myself that we can only take it day by day, and today we need to solve this issue. We were happy to find out that the water tank was on the lower end of the price scale, and if we can install it then we don’t have that expense of labor to pay! We are lucky to live in a time where we have access to instant information at our fingertips.
I was still able to see my mom today for Mother’s Day, which was nice. We were able to go for a walk and I helped her by going with her to the grocery store. Unfortunately she is drinking more alcohol again which of course was not what I wanted to hear, but it is what it is and unfortunately there’s not much I can do. It’s her life, she will do what she wants and I cannot take on any responsibility or feelings of guilt for that. All so can do is wish her well and be grateful for our current time together.
She also shared some other not-so-great family updates with me, so I’d say today was filled with a lot of negative emotion and energy. I have been reminding myself of what I can control and also reminding myself that spending time on negative energy and spending time worrying will not improve my current situation. However, focusing on gratitude and what I can control will help me.
It’s helpful that I feel like I am able to slow down my thoughts now and truly calm down before having outbursts of anger; I can tell I still have work to do, but it’s much more bearable now. I am grateful for the progress I’ve been able to make with my mental health, and I know I can only get better from here!
Vacation
blogI’m so ready to leave for vacation on Thursday! I’m going on a girls trip with one of my best friends and then a few of her friends down to North Carolina! We are going to be spending time on the beach, hanging out at the condo, and really just relaxing!
I’m excited to escape work for a bit and just enjoy life and the beach; I always feel so at peace when I am listening to the ocean waves. I would absolutely love to live by the ocean one day, and for just a long weekend I will be, so I’m going to live it up!
Until then I’m just trying to get ahead at work so it’s easy for the rest of my team when I leave. Since I have a higher workload than some of the other coworkers, luckily my boss understands if I can’t get super far ahead and she will work on my stuff while I’m gone! I don’t plan to think about work at all while I’m gone, but I definitely will be missing my boyfriend who will be at home with the cats!
I used to have a real hard time being away from my boyfriend for even a couple days, but after taking a few short vacations without him, it luckily isn’t as unbearable. I usually send him photos that I take on vacation and we will try to call/FaceTime every night or every other night; but overall I get to enjoy my time with my friends and he gets to enjoy his video games and coding without me bothering him (LOL).
I’m just praying for a safe flight without any delays, because this is my first time flying solo with layovers, and it’s not in my plans to miss any connecting flights! I keep reminding myself that things will happen as they should, and everything will be okay. I’m planning to read and listen to podcasts while on flights/waiting in the airport, which should help make the time go by fast! Overall I’m excited and can’t wait to see my bff!
finding light in the dark 