universe

Sunday Card Pull

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Deck: Gabby Bernstein’s “The Universe Has Your Back”

Take a moment to tune into the energy of love. When is a time where you felt the warmth in your heart? A time where your cheeks hurt because you couldn’t stop smiling? Was it during the holidays? At a concert? On a hike? Tap into that feeling, and sit with it. Let that feeling wash over your entire body, from your crown to your toes. Soak it in so deeply that you take this loving energy with you today, spreading it to any and all who come your way.

The world always needs more love, start with yourself. 💖

Sunday July 28, 2024

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I have been feeling so present in my life lately, which has also been making me cry a lot LOL. I have been really in my feelings about the wedding, and I find myself visualizing us just beaming at each other at the alter and the tears just start flowing. I’ve dreamt of marrying this man for so many years, and it’s finally coming to fruition. We’re just over two months away from the special day, and I’m just soaking in this lovely time.

I also am about to go on a girls trip with a couple of my close friends from high school! We are seeing the gorgeous, witchy rap goddess herself: Qveen Herby!!! I am so stoked to see her live. I just discovered her music a couple of years ago and I just love listening to an independent artist who shares her healing transformation through her art. She’s not ashamed of who she was or is, she is just filling embracing her truest self; I feel like this concert is going to have the most immaculate energy. We’re also celebrating my birthday on this trip; I’m so excited to start off my last year in my 20s with my best friends!!

Aside from all of the upcoming events, I also recently had a great breakdown/breakthrough within myself and with another close friend of mine. Without going too much into detail, there was an event that triggered me that I could not ignore, and because I had ignored many other triggers throughout the years of our relationship, all of those memories came flooding through. Although the start of the interaction wasn’t how I exactly planned, I am positive that it was all supposed to happen this way, and I am glad that it did.

We were able to sit down in person, not once, but twice for a couple of difficult conversations. We are both people who grew up without seeing healthy conflict resolution, so we both were super anxious going into these discussions, even with our significant others joining us. There were heated moments, but no one got disrespectful or rude, which was honestly relieving and appreciated. I always have to think of worst case scenarios, so I was pleasantly surprised when this all ended on high notes.

Overall, now I feel I can have clear, authentic communication with my friend, when in reality I didn’t always feel that way before. As I’ve talked about many times in this blog, I am a recovering people-pleaser, and with that I have had to realize how much of a disservice I have been giving my friendships by not being open and honest when I’m feeling bothered by something. I swept things under the rug because it felt easier than facing conflict, especially when my mind always goes to the worst possible case scenario- but this only harmed myself and my friendships.

They had no clue I was bothered, I built up resentment that I could easily push away, but in reality we will end up getting triggered again and then all of the things we “pushed away,” just resurface. Until we address and resolve our issues, the cycles will continue to repeat. This time around, I did not want that to continue. No matter how difficult a conversation may be, I have to stay true to myself. I deserve to feel authentic and comfortable in my life and my relationships, so it’s up to me to be honest with myself and with those I love.

I am feeling so good this season. Astrologically it makes sense considering it is now Leo season and your girl here is a Leo herself! Leo sun, and rising here, and I am finally leaning into my confidence and my authenticity. I am so proud of myself for all of the work I’ve been doing for my mental health, and I am excited to see how much I grow over this next year. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍✨

New Moon in Taurus: A Love Letter To Myself.

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It’s been amazing to watch you grow into the woman you are today. A woman who is no longer afraid of her emotions. Once upon a time you wanted to completely rid herself of them, and with just a few months of Zoloft that goal was achieved. It didn’t take long for you to recognize how lost you were without them, without your powers.

The sensitivity you have to others and to the world around you is a gift when you learn how to use it, and it’s amazing to see you catching on. I see you allowing yourself to feel that childlike joy and also allowing yourself to feel the anger that you’ve been shoving away for too long. Far too long. See how the world has shifted now that you accept and embrace these feelings? No wonder you want to share this with the world.

You care so deeply for others, for humanity as a whole actually. You’ve seen and felt what pain and trauma does to one’s mental health and well being, which makes it easy to have empathy for those who are struggling. You know what it’s like to not be able to feel the true love and joys around you, and now that you can feel them, you want everyone else to be able to feel them too.

You used to let this empathy consume you; losing yourself in everyone else’s worries that they all endlessly dumped on you. You absorbed the anxieties they had and abandoned yourself for too long, completely losing track of what was yours and what wasn’t. You did all of this while trying to keep up a perfect appearance to literally everyone around you- never releasing your own problems or feelings, because they all had enough to worry about.

You always felt like a burden, which is why you made sure to always put everyone else’s happiness before your own. If other people were happy, then there was less likely to be any conflict, thus giving a feeling of safety. You were in survival mode for most of your childhood and early 20s, and I am proud of the transformation you have made through your healing journey.

You allow yourself to rest without shaming yourself about it; instead you now realize it is necessary to recharge your own battery. You are present in your life, making new memories and taking time to enjoy the time with loved ones. You no longer talk about yourself negatively, but instead with the same empathy and grace you’ve always given to others. You have recognized the importance of speaking up and being authentic, and you openly and kindly share your thoughts and opinions with those who you’re close to. You prioritize spending your time and energy with the right people, and you aren’t afraid to say “no.”

You have grown so much throughout the years, and I am so proud of who you are. You deserve peace and love, and you have it all around you and within you. You are a magical woman with a strong intuition, and you’re a magnet for miracles. I love you so much, and I’m so happy to finally be here with you in this beautiful and crazy world. I am here. I am home.

Moment of Gratitude

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As I type this post, I am standing at the kitchen island typing on my laptop while sun beams in through all of the windows in the living room. One cat is basking in the sun rays, stretched out on the wood floor, while the other is entertaining herself with an empty amazon box. My fiancé is asleep in our bedroom, and our third cat is likely laying on the bed with him. I have my air pods in, listening to R&B now radio on apple music, and I am just soaking in the present moment, and thinking about the day ahead.

In less than an hour, I am meeting up with a friend to go on a walk here in town! We planned this a few weeks ago and I am so glad we have great weather for our walk! Then later my fiancé and I are headed to his parents for our monthly family dinner! We also had a game night last night at our friend’s place which was really fun, and it is just a weekend full of connection and good energy. This month my calendar is filling up, but it is all with seeing good friends and family, and I am just so grateful for this chapter in my life.

Wedding and honeymoon planning is just about done, and we are just finishing up planning for our joint bach party where we are going to celebrate with all of our friends with go-karting and food/drinks back at the house. I am just happy to be present here in my body to actually be able to enjoy all of these blessings around me. I am also grateful to my angels and guides who are protecting us and keeping only pure, supportive energy around us. I know that I can trust in the divine timing of everything in my life, and I can trust that all is exactly how it should be.

I am so thankful for this life. I feel lucky every single day knowing I have true love; the love I always needed in my life. I have a partner who is respectful and cares deeply about me, even after seeing me during my worst moments. The way he loves me and makes me feel so safe and free, I truly don’t know how I got so blessed, but I am forever grateful for him and our relationship. This is the year that we say our “I do’s,” but it was when we told each other “I love you” at the young age of 16 that we knew were going to love each other forever.

Full Moon Reflection

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As the full moon is upon us, I release the lingering feelings of self doubt and fear that hold me back from being the best version of myself.

I release limiting beliefs that keep me small and quiet, and instead I allow myself to express my thoughts and feelings without shame or guilt.

I release resentment and bitterness that is trapped within my muscles, letting go of any tension that was never mind to hold.

I know who I am, and I know that no one has power over me, such as I have no power over anyone else. I can only control my mindset and my reactions, and I release any urges to fix or predict other people’s behavior.

I love deeply. I feel deeply. I think deeply. I don’t wish to have surface level friendships or really surface level anything. To create authentic connections, I must be authentically connected to myself. I am embracing this journey of self love and healing, and within this I must let go of what is keeping me from processing.

Universe, Angels, and Guides of the highest truth and love, please allow me to let go of what no longer serves me, to make room for the abundance and blessings that are heading my way. Allow me to see, hear, and feel the truth that I need to experience to elevate me to my highest potential. Allow me to be a vessel for love, for creativity, and for the goodness of the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Universe, Angels, and Guides of the highest truth and love, please allow the world to open their eyes to peace and love, rather than chaos and evil. Allow the truth to be accepted and all of the people in the world to be free. Allow healing energy and light to flow over all those in pain, and bring food to the hungry and water to the thirsty. This world has so much love within it, please allow it to outshine over the darkness. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A Surprising Gift

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I have been feeling very present and grateful lately, and I’m truly working on soaking it all in. I feel like everything is working in divine timing, and I am being blessed randomly by the universe around me. Just this past week I had something amazing happen!

My fiancé and I are planning to have a “Til Death Do Us Party” a couple weeks after our small destination wedding, and we had a plan to have a cute vintage phone record messages and use that as our guest book. There are companies that rent these phones, and there are also phones you can purchase that have this purpose and ability already built in, but my fiancé wanted to try to build one himself.

He is into computers/programming, and he figured he could buy an old phone and a raspberry pi computer to make the phone into our audio guestbook. We placed an order for a cute, black vintage phone and the raspberry pi, but when we opened the box, we were shocked at what came.

Inside the amazon box that literally was labeled “black vintage office phone” and was a cream colored vintage phone, with a center button that said “record your memory.” This was the exact thing that he was planning to make. He looks at his receipt and sees we definitely did not order this phone, in fact, the one we ordered was $40 and did not have this technology. I start looking up this phone we received and it is a $135 phone!

As much as I wanted a black phone, I couldn’t help but be excited about this random accident that happened! I feel like this phone was meant for us and I am just going with the flow of it all. Whether it’s my angels and guides or the universe at large, I am feeling very connected and protected at this point. I am so lucky and blessed to be living here in the present, and I don’t want to ever take this for granted.

777 – Lucky

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I’ve been seeing 777 so often lately. I even took a snapchat video for myself a couple weeks ago when I saw CJ 777 on a license plate after seeing a car with CJ on license plate and an “easy money” sticker on back of the car. CJ are mine and my fiancés first initials, so I always see that as a sign for us.

Today I decided to take old scratch offs that had a total of $7 of winnings to the gas station & see use it to play back into it. One of the tickets was so old it actually expired, so I only had $2 to play with. I ended up getting two $1 games called 7-11-21 (the number of this card was 34 and immediately in my head I’m like 3+4 = 7), so I end up playing. One didn’t win anything, but the other one won $15!!

I was so excited and so I’m like “I’m gonna play this back in and get 3 of the $5 Lucky Seven scratch offs. At this point my fiancé sarcastically says: “you have a gambling problem.” Mind you, we literally never get scratch offs or play the lottery or go to casinos. So I reply with “no I don’t, this is free money from my Grandma and I am playing on sevens right now! I keep seeing 777 everywhere!” So I go in and do as planned and we go off to have breakfast and stop at the store.

We come home and we’re scratching off the tickets and none of them won any of the actual game, but there was a bonus where if you matched two symbols in the bonus, you won the prize shown. I go to scratch my last bonus and see two symbols- both are grapes!! I start scratching the bonus and the prize revealed that we won $77!! I was like “$77 on sevens!!!! yaaassssss!!!”

My fiancé literally just looks at me and he’s like “okay, that’s wild.” (he normally thinks i’m delusional when it comes to my signs from the universe). I felt so aligned and connected and overall just happy!! I am gonna go cash that in tomorrow and keep it for my next nail appt LOL!

It’s so crazy because just over a week ago I was feeling like some sort of abundance was on its way, and I am feeling so happy and just in tune. I am grateful to be her and present for these beautiful moments. I am feeling so divinely protected and guided, and for that I am so thankful.

Here Comes The Eclipse

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All I see people posting about is the solar eclipse tomorrow on April 8. As I have been dabbling in astrology, I personally am excited for this eclipse. Eclipses are looked at as powerful times where we can harness the energy to set our intentions and truly shift our lives in the direction that we want to go. I am really trying to stay focused on the positive and keep a faith based mindset rather than fear, as of course, the other side of the Internet is all conspiracies about the end times.

The more I go through this life, the more I just believe that we do create our own reality and whatever we believe to be true will be true. I know that can’t really apply to science and math, and it may not make sense to everyone, but if two things can be true at the same time while having complete opposite meetings, then why couldn’t this be possible? Maybe this is the “end times,” but doesn’t that also mean it’s time for a new beginning?

I have not followed any religion closely, nor do I know the stories of the Bible, but there are people who follow the Bible who are noticing the timing and the path of the Eclipse. This path of darkness crosses through many religiously significant towns, such as Jonah TX, and Rapture, IN. Also, the path apparently passes through seven different towns named Nineveh, which is where Jonah had to go to urge people to repent their evil ways otherwise the town would be destroyed. To some, they believe this is the time that Jesus will come back.

I’ve also seen videos pop up on my Instagram feed talking about a solar eclipse that happened in 1811 and how huge earthquakes happened a couple months after that which caused the Earth to open up. We just had a 4.8 earthquake in New Jersey which some find to be ironic, because the solar eclipse is also on 4/8. Apparently eclipses can bring wild weather events, which we are already seeing with the wild storm in KY and also a huge 7.4 earthquake in Taiwan.

Regardless of what the eclipse can bring or what it symbolizes, I am still leaning into faith. I believe this world needs togetherness, along with and mutual understanding and empathy. I believe that the more we continue to love ourselves and let that love spill out and over onto others, the happier we will be as a species. I’m praying that we can come together and recognize how beautiful this world is, how amazing each other are, and how much goodness we can accomplish together.

Leaning into faith over fear. Thanking my angels and guides of the highest truth. Being present to the love around me. I am blessed. I am grateful. I am ready. 🤍

Ego Soul Blip

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My soul will live on, the ego will die along with the human body. The soul is who I relate more to: leading with love, empathy, and a nurturing heart. Knowing nothing is perfect, nor is it meant to be. Knowing that it’s not all about “me,” or even my human self, but it’s about all of us together. Humans thrive on connection. We lose ourselves in our ego, but that connection is what our souls need. We need peace. We need love. We need acceptance. We need trust. We are meant to feel all of the beautiful feelings and give so much love to ourselves, that we cannot help but pour love onto others.