I can only do what I can do, and stressing does not help anything.
When I am in my peace and in my own lane, that is when I thrive.
My angels and guides are always around, I can walk in confidence knowing that.
Truth and love will always win, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.
Yesterday was rough at work – again thanks to Aetna just dropping their contracts with Careington and forcing so many providers out of network with NO NOTICE!!! But I’m just trying to remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what we have to work with, I just feel bad for patients and it’s frustrating that the insurance company literally tells patients that we decided to leave the network which is BS! There’s only so much I can do, we’re doing all we can to help and keep our patients, so that is what matters.
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
I hope my blog makes people feel seen and heard, whether they see themselves in my writing or it inspires them to start their own blog/journal. I hope it gives people who are struggling with mental health hope and happiness, because I am definitely not the same person I was when I started this blog 5+ years ago. It’s normal for us all to have struggles on our journeys, but what’s important is we keep coming home to ourselves, and I hope my blog helps to remind people of that.
I’m so tired today since I went right back to work after this lovely birthday weekend, so instead of writing- here’s a couple pictures from downtown Minneapolis!
Last night I saw Glass Animals in concert with a couple friends and had the best time! I’m tired and sore, but the show was amazing and the merch I got is so cute! I’m so glad we got to do this mini trip, and now I’m ready to go home and cuddle with my husband!
This beautiful Monday I am driving out of state with my friend to meet our other friend and see a concert! It’s so different being up early when you know you’re doing something exciting rather than going to work LOL! I’m just excited for this mini girls trip and this concert, and I’m just praying for safe travels there and back for all of us! I hope everyone has a safe and happy Monday!
Yesterday I got to hang out with some good friends and celebrate my 30th birthday! We all went to the local fair in town and it was so fun to eat fair food and ride rides like a little kid again! I had the best time, and it’s crazy to think that some of the friends I have are friends I’ve had for 15-20 years! It’s just crazy how we all have grown and evolved over the years, yet we’re still here supporting each other. I’m just feeling so happy and blessed and this is definitely one of the highlights of 2025 for me!
Another year around the sun, my 30th one
This one feels different; mature. demure.
30 feels more settled and peaceful
30 feels like confidence; like I’m actually more than enough
30 feels how I want it to feel, because I no longer aim to please everyone around me; my only goal is to be authentically myself.
I was never meant to be everyone’s cup of tea
Nor do I actually want to be
In reality, I just want to be me
And so, this is 30
Goodbye to my 20s
I accomplished so much in this past decade
My husband & I bought our home together
We grew in our careers
We got married
I went through a whirlwind of a mental health journey, and I’m still forever learning and evolving (as we all are)
I feel like so much abundance is on the horizon
Like I’m shedding these layers of programming
My inner critic is shrinking
My inner child is happy and growing
My inner compass is aligned
My inner knowing is strong
I always had the strength – I survived through everything in the last 3 decades
I survived when I was too young to know how to- my brain / amygdala knew how to though
I lived a lot of my life in survival mode, and within the last couple years I have finally been able to feel present- I’ve cried tears of joy over just being.
Just being.
And it’s crazy to think that maybe that’s the them of 30s… just being.
No pressure.
No people pleasing.
No perfectionism.
Just authenticity and honesty.
Just being.
My husband and I are on our way home after a fun day playing on a huge water obstacle course! Yesterday my husband suggested that we do something fun, and after looking online for a while, we decided on this! It was a much fun, but boy was it hella exercise LOL! I know we are gonna feel it tomorrow.
I’m so glad we went- not only because it was a fun date day, but also because I need to be prioritizing joy in this season of my life. I noticed yesterday after we booked it, and even this morning that I was having anxiety about it and feeling uneasy. I knew it was mainly because it’s not anything I’ve ever done before, but I still feel like part of me always tried to self-sabotage whenever I am doing something for myself.
The good news is that I noticed it early on today, and my husband was also very aware and making sure to check in on me and reassure me. I always feel bad that I tend to make our good days start out poorly just with my anxiety and control issues. I always feel like everything has to go perfectly, but my rigidness is worse than things just going awry on their own. I know this, and I know I need to give my perfectionist part of me love rather than shame.
Dear little perfectionist with me, you are allowed to relax. I know you had to make sure that all things were thought through, and I know that control makes you feel safe; the truth is that nothing is ever perfect, and you have not only survived all of those imperfect moments in your life- you thrived. No matter how much you overthink and over plan, all will happen exactly as it should, and you’ll always be able to handle it. You don’t have to be so uptight and rigid, in fact, you deserve rest and joy more than you know- I pray you open up to receive it.
finding light in the dark 