Tuesday Groove

Although I’m back to work after a long weekend, tired as hell with my back pain coming back slightly, I still am having a good day! I’m currently on lunch at work and although I didn’t do all that I wanted to this morning, I still did two of the things on my am list: practiced gratitude and set an intention for the day.

Todays intention was simply to be mindful and grateful. I want to be mindful of my words/my responses, and I want to be grateful for everything. When I set the intention I also told myself that if I find points of frustration or irritability, I should take a moment to reflect on something good that is happening in the situation.

Yesterday I spent a little time and money on myself and went shopping after my chiropractor appointment. I’m excited to say that I purchased the “How To Meet Yourself” workbook by Dr. Nicole Lepera (aka The Holistic Psychologist) and I am ready to start off the new year on the right foot! Honestly I already started it, but I am already starting my 2023 goals now. I also ordered another self-help workbook by Vex King & Kaushal and am so excited for that one to arrive as well!

I am feeling really good about this upcoming year, and really just about life right now. I am happy in my relationship and in our home, I’m happy with my friendships, I am happy with the progress I’ve made in relation to my health/mental health- overall I am just feeling happy! Gratitude really does change the attitude, and I love adding that practice into my mornings.

I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions anymore as most people don’t stick with them, but I do know I want to just continue to focus on my health/mental health and do more of the things I love. Concerts, hiking, singing, writing, dancing… all of the things that bring my inner child joy will be done regularly in 2023! I’m finding my inner confidence and becoming the best version of myself, because I deserve that.

Wishing everyone a peaceful remainder of 2022 and a good transition into 2023. Sending so much love and light to all struggling with loss, financial troubles, health troubles, heartbreak, stress, family issues- as hard as it may be to remember during these tough times, it is always dark before the dawn.

2022 Progress Report: Proud and Grateful

As the year slowly comes to a close, I am looking forward to continue my healing into 2023. I have learned so much about myself over this year, and I am honestly very proud of my growth. I think back to when my mother had her stroke in February, and how instead of sitting and worrying about if or when she would have another one, I instead turned to gratitude. I was grateful that she is still here, and she can function normally and on her own; she is truly blessed, and I feel the same way. If this were to have happened a few years ago, I would have spiraled for probably months, just riddled with anxiety. I am proud of the fact that I find it easier to turn to gratitude during tough times.

I also am grateful that I am getting better at communicating when I am bothered by something. A few months ago, I was able to have a conversation with a close friend about something that I felt like could have been confrontational or maybe even hurtful. Although I was anxious about it, I was able to clearly communicate my intentions and thoughts, and because she is a good friend, I felt heard and understood during that conversation! I am proud that instead of just being quiet about it and building up resentment, I decided to speak up for myself and discuss my feelings. As someone who has avoided conflict and kept quiet her whole life, that one single act felt like it broke a huge barrier for me, and for that I am proud of myself.

Throughout the year I’ve struggled with judgment; truly it’s been me judging myself for judging others, and then realizing that those judgments I had towards others were actually the judgments I had towards myself. I had read about that in a book, and I’ve also heard it on podcasts before, but it really clicked this year. Although there have been a lot of hard truths to swallow, it has also been calming in a way to release that urge to control or “rescue” others. In reality, I only have the power to control or “rescue” myself, and that is what I will continue to focus on.

I am so grateful to have access to therapy and to have found such amazing podcasts that I enjoy listening to. I also am happy that I started reading more books again this year, and I plan to read even more in 2023. I plan to dedicate time to myself each day, even if only for one minute on some days, because I deserve that love and attention from myself. I plan to be authentic and honest and speak up for myself whenever needed, and I plan to be unapologetic about setting healthy boundaries. I am planning to be less busy and live calmer and slower; after living with a dysregulated nervous system for most of my life, I want to do my absolute best to try to regulate it.

2023: More connecting with nature, less connecting with technology. More reading books, less scrolling through Instagram. More time doing what I love, less wasting time doing things that don’t align with me. More pausing and slowing down, less rushing and stressing. More focusing on my values and goals, less judging and doubting myself. I am doing only what I feel is best for me, and I won’t feel guilty about it.

A Love Letter to Myself:

It’s the way you giggle with glee when passing by farm animals when driving down country roads, waving and screaming “hello!” to them out of the passenger window. It’s the way you admire the sky at all times of the day and night, and how different your moods are when grey clouds block the view. It’s the way you say “good morning” to each of the cats and how you ask them how their days were when you come home. It’s the effort you put into yourself; going to therapy, reading self-help books, listening to mindfulness podcasts… you’re truly doing the work and you are finally doing it for you. It’s the way you are so comfortable being your weird, goofy self when around those who love you, and even around those who don’t even know you. It’s the way you want everyone to feel comfortable and loved for who they are, and not feel ashamed of their perceived “flaws.” It’s the way you love a day inside; whether you’re making crafts, writing, or watching some dramatic real estate show, you always find joy in the environment you’re in. No matter what you go through, you have this strength and resilience that always comes to the surface, and although at times you don’t give yourself the credit you deserve, just know that you deserve all of the wonders the world has to offer. Shine brightly and unapologetically; don’t let anyone dim the light that the world so desperately needs.

I love you. I love me.

Lowkey Weekend

I have not seen any friends or done anything eventful this weekend and it’s exactly what I needed. I honestly have been feeling pretty tired anyways and it’s been nice getting some rest.

In the past, I would struggle to sit still and if I finally did, I’d feel guilty for not being productive; I’m happy to say that is something I definitely have made progress on. I need to take time to write more about thing I’m proud of and progress I’ve made, as well as more goals I want to work on, but right now I’m honestly too tired.

I’m gonna lay low for the rest of the day, I have a headache right now so I’m going ti hydrate and maybe take a nap LOL. I hope everyone has a good week ahead.

Thanksgiving 2022

I am grateful for another year of growing and learning about myself. I am so blessed to have a loving, supportive life partner who lifts me up, and who makes me feel seen and understood. I am grateful for the genuine friends who cheer for me while I cheer for them. I am thankful for my family, whether near or far they always make me feel loved. There are so many people in my life who truly mean so much to me, and I am forever grateful for everyone.

When it comes to me and my current goals, I am focusing on growing and striving for happiness in my everyday life. As I’ve said before, practicing gratitude has been very helpful in keeping a more positive perspective and attitude. I am working hard to practice the art of letting go and realizing when I am worrying about things beyond my control. I am also focusing on trusting myself and my intuition, and not feeling guilty for setting boundaries or speaking my mind.

Everyone else in the world has no problem speaking their opinions, so why do I silence mine? Especially when I feel that those with good intentions and empathy should be speaking out more. In his podcasts, Jay Shetty often mentions a quote by Martin Luther King Jr: “Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.” I am taking this time for me to get organized in my own thoughts for my own inner peace, because I deserve to be at my best, just as my loved ones around me deserve me at my best.

New Moon, New Intentions

This month I want to focus on my health and mental health. With the holidays approaching, I also want to focus on love and joy, and do the little things that make me happy. I want to live slowly and enjoy each of life’s precious moments- I want to be fully present.

Things I can practice to help me:

-Meditation

-Journaling

-Social media break

-Continue going to the chiropractor

-Go to the gym more frequently

-Reading

This month’s Mantra for me: I release and let go of what I cannot control, and I focus on the beauty around me.

What are you intentions this month?

Early Mornings- 5am Club

Good morning to this beautiful, dark Tuesday morning; I don’t tend to see this side of morning, but I decided over the weekend that I wanted to finally try waking up at 5am. This is something I have been thinking about doing for a while after listening to a few podcasts, and I finally decided to pull the trigger. The main argument that stood out to me was the fact that our morning routine sets us up for the day, and that if we take time to do something for ourselves in the morning, we are more likely to carry that good mood throughout the day. With my current job, my schedule is consistent, but I start at a different time every morning which has made it hard for me to set up a good morning routine. I feel that waking up at 5am is helpful, because I know that regardless of my work schedule for the day, I will have a solid hour of time by myself and that gives me the power to start the day off well.

I keep saying how I want to focus on my health and make good habits, and I am finally taking more steps to do this. Ironically I am listening to Mel Robbins’ most recent podcast episode and she is talking about manifesting, and she said instead of visualizing the end goals, we need to focus on the steps to get there… and that is what I am doing. I find it important to continue to check in with myself and what my goals are, and although I have a few different ones, my mental and physical health are at the foundation of all of them. If you think about it, how will I be able to be a good mom one day if I am physically unwell or mentally unavailable for my child(ren)? How will I ever be an author if I never make time to add writing/reading into my routine? How will I be able to pour out motivation or inspiration if I have not taken the time to fill up my cup? I am the only one who can set myself up for success, and I deserve to have happiness and success in life.

I do want to say that I already feel very happy and successful in life; I get to live with the love of my life, I have a job that I actually like, and I am working hard to unlearn my anxious tendencies in order to continue to move forward and progress in life. I feel very grateful every day for the life that I have, but that doesn’t mean we should stop making goals and thinking about our future. I will say it feels like I finally know the difference between manifesting/planning for the future versus obsessing/stressing over the future. I am finding it easier to let go of the things I cannot control, and I am working hard to stay focused on the things that bring me joy in life. I am the one who is in control of my life, and I get to choose to do what makes me happy. Sometimes it may not be easy, I mean getting up at 5am today was a little rough, but just reminding myself that this is what I want to do makes it a little bit easier. We all deserve to be happy, so make sure you take some time to check in with yourself and start doing the things that will bring you joy!

11•11•22

I wanted to make a post today, because I love the date and I also was able to reconnect with a good friend of mine today! She and I grew up together in the apartment complex that she is currently living in with her husband and sister! It was honestly kind of crazy to go walk through the courtyard where we once rode our bikes, and then over to a huge patch of grass that was once a the pool where I learned how to swim.

In a way it was kind of like a part of our childhood was completely gone, yet there we stood, reminiscing about it all. Honestly it was so nice being able to catch up and talk as if we never stopped, which I already knew would happen. We laughed so much and we just talked about our lives; it’s just amazing how much we’ve grown from those elementary school days. Now we’re adults who work and pay bills and live with our other halves…little me would be so proud of us.

I am honestly excited for tomorrow as I feel it’ll be a productive, yet relaxing day for myself and my boyfriend. I am excited to enjoy breakfast together and then afterwards I’m gonna get my nails redone since I still have my (now super outgrown) spooky nails. I have to get groceries afterwards, but I’m just doing a pickup, because I don’t need that stress in my life tomorrow LOL. I also am hoping to declutter a bit and put up our Christmas decorations! As some meme on the internet said: “you can still enjoy your turkey while looking at a Christmas tree.”

I also don’t care about turkey and Thanksgiving really isn’t my favorite holiday. I have said that before and I thought about doing a “Friends-giving,” but also kind of don’t feel like planning that. I do however want to have a Christmas party this year, I should probably let people know about that soon… another thing to do tomorrow!

I am happy to be feeling more present and self-aware lately, and I am feeling relief from going to the chiropractor as well. I no longer am having that feeling of tightness in my chest, and the neck/shoulder pain is getting better as well. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I am happy with my progress thus far and I am excited to keep moving forward with my healing journey, both mentally and physically.