Wednesday Wisdom

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I have been feeling so much better than I felt the first week of the year, and I am fully enjoying this time. I’m still practicing discernment in my life, I am limiting the amount of information I share with others and this even includes close friends.

It is not my responsibility or even my problem if someone else is sending jealous or some negative energy my way, because I know I am protected and my energy is mine regardless; but that doesn’t mean I want to be all willy nilly with what I share.

There’s good news around me, and instead of sharing for validation or sharing to celebrate, I find that celebrating with myself and for myself is more than sufficient for me. In reality, it feels better than sharing with others. Not that my friends don’t celebrate or care, but because I can give that to myself.

I am very aware that hyper-independence is a trauma response, but it also is a strength. I know I am living in alignment with my values; I am strengthening my relationship with the universe / God, which in turn has improved my relationship with myself. I know who I can ask for help, I know I have loved ones who are truly in my corner and are rooting for me, and even though that is a small group, it is a strong, supportive, caring group.

I don’t feel the need to share all of my plans and all of my goals with people who are just waiting for me to fail, or are projecting their own self-doubt onto me. I know that I still have yet to meet members of my soul family, and I am not here to be completely shut off or turn off my empathy, but I will continue to be selective and protect myself and my dreams first.

Thank you

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Thank you angels and guides of the highest good and best intentions for supporting and protecting my fiancé and I along our wedding journey. Thank you for bringing ease and peace to the process and for all of the extra abundance you’re sprinkling in- it is not unnoticed.

Thank you for supporting me in this new job and allowing me to show up as my best self, allowing me to advocate for myself, and allowing me to succeed every day.

Thank you for the warmth within our home, our blankets, our cars and the buildings we work in- as we are able to survive these severely low temperatures.

Thank you for allowing me to surrender my worries about health, money, home, and anything that is beyond my control over to you, and I trust that you will take care of everything in the best way.

I am growing, flowing, and glowing.

Blessed Monday

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Woke up this morning to a message in our work app that due to extreme low temperatures, for safety of staff and patients they are closing the office today! Snow day part 2! Or part 4 if you count the weekend LOL.

In reality though, I am actually amazed and so glad that I took this position. My last company was still open on Friday when it was a legitimate blizzard outside, and I only know because I messaged my friend who still works there. If you ever called off for anything, you could bet that the boss was asking everyone if they’d seen you posting on snap or instagram or if they heard anything about them looking for jobs. Like damn, can’t someone just be sick or be worried about their safety in peace?

There were so many reasons I left that place, and it mainly came down to their lack of care about their employees, and I am so grateful to be somewhere that is the complete opposite. I love what I am doing at my job, I am getting faster at moving through the system, and I am excited to get everything in a good flow; but today, I get another day of rest!

Everyone be safe out there! Sending extra love to all who need it.

Sunday Funday

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My friend is about to drop off her kids to hang out for a while, and I have decided that this is my opportunity to be a kid today! We have candy land and lincoln logs, and we even have a classic DVD player with a variety of Disney and Pixar movies to choose from! She’s bringing over some snacks, and we have some fun records to listen to! It’s going to be a carefree, imaginative day.

Obviously I am also going to be supervising the children and making sure everyone is staying safe and well! My fiancéis also here to help which is nice, and I know time will just fly by! Kids can talk and ask questions for hours and hours so I am interested to see what is in store today LOL.

As for the week ahead, I am feeling more comfortable at work and feeling productive every day, which is great! I am excited to get in a good groove and get caught up on things and take on more tasks. I also am excited to focus more on myself and my health outside of the office, and hopefully get a nail appointment this week! We had a huge snow storm so I didn’t feel like driving to my appointment this weekend.

We are continuing to lock things in for our wedding which has me super excited. I find myself getting extra emotional when listening to love songs, and I am just so happy and grateful that I get to marry my best friend this year! I’m just going to keep focusing on that energy this year!

1/11

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Today is January 11, aka 111! If you believe in angel numbers and all that fun witchy woo, then today is a powerful day that marks “new beginnings.” Today is also the first new moon of 2024, which is a wonderful day to set new intentions, new routines and get our booties into gear!

Mind you, if you are still feeling the heavy, exhausting energy of the new year, it is okay to just take today to slow down and pour into yourself. Give yourself grace and set time to check back in when you’re feeling like you’re in a better space energetically.

For myself, this year is an exciting one and I am looking forward to all of the love, connections, blessings and abundance that is heading my way. I am being my full self with absolutely no apologies! I am embracing my weird, bitchy, dark humor having ass self and instead of fighting the inevitable dualities in the human life, I am flowing with them.

I am advocating for myself.

I am prioritizing my peace.

I am moving with intention.

I am surrendering worries to the universe.

I am flowing, growing, and glowing.

I am taking back my power.

I am stepping into my authentic self.

I am grateful, graceful, and tasteful.

I have spent so much time focusing on my mental health and focusing on the positives, and now it’s time to enjoy all of my progress. I am dancing in the garden I grew for myself. I am singing in the rain that the universe pours into me. I am skipping through the fields of abundance that will continue to appear before me. I am breathing fresh air into my vessel, cleansing my soul from the inside out.

I am here.

I am alive.

I am free.

Thank you, angels and guides of the highest good for your divine support and protection.

Ready, Set, Grow

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I just read a post/quote and it just stopped me in my tracks. Cory Allen made a post that said “When wondering if a relationship is good for you, ask yourself: ‘would I be OK being more like them?’ Then you’ll have your answer.

Applying that to my current relationship with my fiancé, absolutely there was no doubt in my mind that I’d 100% be okay being more like him, but when I started thinking about a couple friendships I realized I may need to start being more honest with myself.

I am not like most of my friends, and I do feel like that is good to have balance and as someone who is empathic, it’s easy for me to understand why people do what they do. I don’t agree with everything that my friends do, but I also know how to set my own boundaries and not participate in things that do not align with my values- which is also probably fine and a reason I could keep all of my friends.

I struggle though when I notice certain red flags, and I don’t always know if I should bring them up or not. I guess it all goes back to how I am feeling and if whatever they are doing directly impacts me. In reality, what someone thinks about me really isn’t my business, but I also need to know that intentions are pure.

Someone who is indecisive and wishy-washy makes me hesitant, as I don’t know if they even know their own intentions. But at the same time, is that even my business? Do I really need to focus on that or overthink it?

My job is to set boundaries, advocate for myself when needed, and to take care of my own needs. I definitely have good friends and good connections, but I’m also one of those people who is very independent and prefer to keep certain things to myself. I guess as the year goes on I will just continue to listen to my gut and speak up, even if it may trigger certain things, because that is where the real growth is.

Sitting with it.

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I had a wonderful weekend spending time with family and it was back to work today! I feel lazy today, but I also think that has to do with it just being winter and the driving this weekend.

I am giving myself grace this month as I take it slow and not force anything that isn’t willing to flow. I feel my body needs rest and care as I transition into this new job and as I wait for the sun to come back LOL.

I have been feeling so grateful for everything in my life though; although I am tired now, I am still very much excited for this year. I know this feeling is temporary and so I am just going to sit with it and let it be.

Notes to Self (and anyone else who needs it)

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All you can do is your very best, and that is what you are doing. There is no need to put all this stress on yourself, you are right where you’re supposed to be.

You are safe, you are loved, and you are okay.

You have navigated through every obstacle in your life to this point, you will continue to thrive.

Your body doesn’t react well to change, but your mind is strong- have them work together to help calm one another.

There’s no such thing as perfect, stop trying to strive for an unattainable goal. Again, focus on doing your best.

Goodbye 2023

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Goodbye to unhealthy habits that aren’t helping me to reach my full potential- I am stepping into my higher self.

Goodbye to negative self-talk and shame- I am being intentional with the words I speak.

Goodbye to letting my fears and limiting beliefs hold power over my future- I am taking matters into my own hands and leaning into faith.

Goodbye to gossip and dramatic environments- I am drinking water and minding my business.

Goodbye to all of the things that are no longer serving me- I am making room for the abundance and blessings that are heading my way.

Goodbye to the people who are not supportive of my dreams and who refuse to cheer me on- I am only surrounding myself with uplifting, supportive people.

Goodbye to a wonderful year; thank you for all of the blessings and wonderful memories.

Last Full Moon 2023

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Today is a full moon in Cancer, and the themes of this moon include nurturing yourself, releasing, isolating, reset/rebirth. I’m not sure about you but I am FEELING this energy already! I am so excited for this new year and all of the wonderful blessings heading my way. 2024 is the year I become a WIFE! I also start my new job right in the beginning of the year, and I am excited to be in a new environment. I can feel so many good things coming my way; I am so excited to get in a new self-care routine and plan this wedding! This is my season and I am here for it!

This full moon I am releasing my need to control situations that are beyond my control. I am releasing the need to “fix” or change how certain people behave. I am releasing the “shoulds” and shame I am putting on myself in regard to my workout routine and eating habits. I am releasing the need to control how others perceive me, my boundaries, or my opinions. I am releasing the need to want everything to be perfect and flawless.

As I continue into the new year, I am focusing on being absolutely impeccable with my word and setting boundaries unapologetically and with love and kindness. I am focusing on how I communicate and making sure I am speaking up when needed. I am focusing on showing myself love and acceptance, and continuing to learn about my own brain and habits. I am focused on how I perceive myself and prioritizing the important things in life. I am focused on being authentic and 100% real in everything that I do.

I am living a life I once dreamed about, and I am forever grateful to be where I am today. Thinking back 10 years ago I was battling with anxiety and depression and I had a lot of issues with self-worth. I couldn’t stand how my brain worked or why I was always worried or on edge- I always felt like I was too much and a complete burden to be around. I had so much pent up rage and issues I needed to work out, and I truly didn’t know if I’d ever feel truly happy. Now I cry tears of pure joy pretty regularly because I am finally feeling the beautiful glimmers that life has to offer. I smile more, I laugh louder… I am happy.

I am so grateful for the life I have and the people I have in it, and I never want to take that for granted. I also finally see my worth and I don’ want to take this for granted either. I, just like every other human, deserve to live my dream life and have my happily ever after- and I am determined to give myself that. Practicing gratitude, sitting in silence, writing in this blog, these are all ways I can continue to come back to myself and be present. I actively choose happiness. I actively choose to heal. I actively choose to be grateful and present. I decide how I get to live my life, and I plan to live my best one.