Author: hermagicalthoughts

Who am I?

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Who am I? A mere mortal; a body of flesh and bones that moves amongst earth until it’s buried beneath it? Am I more than the blood in my veins or the organs within my vessel?

Who am I? A glistening sphere of light; a soul that brings joy and peace to others lives? Am I more than my empathy or the love within my heart?

Who am I? A deck of cards; the many faces that bring luck and abundance to some, but fateful defeat to others? Am I more than the value that others put on me?

Who am I? The Earth’s moon; the phases of darkness and illumination that pierce the cracks of my shadow? Am I more than the waves and chaos that I create?

Who am I? What is my purpose? To accept the fact that everything is temporary and attachments are unnecessary? To bring a sense of comfort and calmness to my inner and outer world? To show others that they all have a bright light within them, even if it may have been dimmed or distorted along the journey?

Who am I to judge anyone, including myself, when I am just a human being like you? Who am I to shame anyone, including myself, when we’re all guessing and learning along the way? Who am I to know what’s best for anyone, when the only shoes I’ve walked in are my own?

Who am I?

I am me. I am a person full of anger and sadness that weighs heavy on my body. I am a human full of flaws and imperfections that make me unique. I am a woman full of strength and kindness that pours from within. I am a soul full of empathy and compassion that overflows from the depths of my heart.

I am light, even with the shadow.

I am love, even with the heaviness.

I am peace, even with the chaos.

Solar Eclipse / Self Check-In

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This morning we will experience a solar eclipse. Although I only dabble in astrology and I don’t believe everything I see or read, I definitely believe that our energy is affected by the planets, sun and moon. Especially for me, being highly-sensitive/empathic definitely allows me to feel the shifts.

I’ve been having some interesting dreams this week: I had one where I met Taylor Swift, which was a super fun and relaxed dream, but I also had a dream that I needed to take in a 12-year old child to take care of and that I needed to convince my boyfriend to adopt him. I really don’t spend a lot of time analyzing my dreams, although I always say that I want to and then don’t, but I feel like maybe my dreams are trying to remind me to see the good in myself.

Throughout this year I’ve been battling with myself about the idea of me being a fraud. I kept feeling like because I have some negative thoughts or judgments about other people’s actions that made my niceness and empathy fake. However, I know that during the human experience we are going to experience dualities in our lives, and some like to break it down between the Ego and the Soul.

As I’ve been more aware and I’ve been open in my therapy sessions, I’ve recognized that I am not a fraud at all- I am simply a human being. If someone else does something that does not align with my values, it is normal to feel put off by that. Me trying to empathize with them and still being nice and supportive about other parts of them or their life doesn’t make me fake, because I truly do try to see other people’s perspectives and I care about others.

I think where I struggle is that sometimes I wonder if I should be bringing up to that person how I am seeing their actions and behaviors from my lens. I know I am not God and I do not know what is best for anyone at all, but I feel dishonest sometimes if I am not being fully transparent about how I feel about something. At the same time though, it isn’t my job to tell people about themselves or change anyone. This is where my battle lies, but it’s easy for me to just say “If this doesn’t impact my life directly, then I am not going to bring anything up.” Which isn’t really wrong, but something in me still feels inauthentic.

It is not my job to fully understand anyone or everyone, it is my job to understand myself. It is not my job to tell people about how I see them, it is my job to treat them with respect, while simultaneously setting my own boundaries with them. Distancing from people is nothing to feel guilty about, especially when you know that a conversation has no chance of going anywhere (i.e. narcissistic people, people with victim mentality).

All I can do is listen to my gut and spend time with those who fill my cup, rather than just use me to fill theirs. I am sensitive, which allows me to be nurturing. I am grateful, which allows me to be happy and to spread my joy. I am resilient, which allows me to give hope. I am emotional, which allows me to be empathetic to others. I deserve to be around people who make me feel light and recharged, not drained and confused.

I will continue to heal myself and listen to my intuition, and I am grateful for this next chapter. This solar eclipse represents transformation, illumination, and abundance and I am ready for it all.

Hope in the Darkness

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The world seems dark right now, and it’s hard to navigate or know what to say. It feels like nothing can take away the pain and horror of what is happening in the middle east, and maybe that is true at this exact moment, but throughout hard times in history, humans have been resilient. Humans can remain hopeful and have faith that better days are on the horizon, but I can’t help but feel that is too hard to do right now.

I am thousands of miles away from the horror that is happening, but as part of the human collective, I can’t help but feel anxiety and stress. I want to remain grateful and as positive as possible, since I am blessed to have this life I do today, but something about that makes me feel guilty. I know that people need to spread love, light, and hope… but in a way it almost feels inappropriate.

Everyone deserves love, everyone deserves peace, why is that so hard for us to achieve? Why is there such hatred and lack of empathy in this world? How could someone so easily take another human’s life away? Why are humans still targeting other humans just because they have different views or religion or skin? We all bleed the same blood, we all are made of skin and bones… how can we be so cruel to our own species?

I guess for now all I can do is pray. Pray for those who are missing and taken hostage to be released safely and reunited with their loved ones. I pray that those in fear are protected by a higher power, and that their guardian angels can help them through this horrific tragedy. I pray that our world can heal and realize that together we can achieve so much more, and that peace and love have always been the answer that we’ve desperately needed. I pray for all of the families who are suffering loss and fear, and hope that they can find strength and peace within them.

This world so desperately needs peace, and although it may seem impossible, that is something I will never stop praying for.

Current Thoughts / Downloads

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Take what’s for you, leave what isn’t.

I don’t need what doesn’t need me.

What goes around always comes back around.

Intentions matter.

Finding comfort in the chaos will help you go far; change is the only thing promised in life.

Let it go, let it flow, and you will glow.

No need to worry about things that you literally have zero control over. Worrying only takes away from the peace of the moment, and you deserve peace.

Protected. Guided. Aligned.

Love is always the answer. We don’t have all of the answers, but if we have love, that’s all that matters.

What triggers you is what inspires you. Anger comes from passion- what are you passionate about? What brings that anger out of you? Feeling unheard? Unseen? Feeling as if someone is being selfish? Closed-mindedness? Dishonesty? You are passionate about expression, about selflessness, openness, and authenticity!

Grey days are great days for resting, recharging, releasing. Nothing is black and white, it’s all grey. (LOL I just realized I’m also wearing all grey)

Connected, not attached- nothing is permanent, therefore nothing is worth losing your peace over.

Welcoming October

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This October:

May I be free of worries and fears as I learn to trust in both myself and in the divine timing of the universe.

May I release all that does not belong to me and focus on the love and happiness in my life.

May I have peace of mind and body as I pay more attention to my gut feelings/intuition.

May I let go of any lingering self-sabotaging behaviors as I step into habits that support my best self.

May this month remind me of just how beautiful life can be when you stay focused on the blessings and love.

Thank you in advance for all of the abundance and blessings that are flowing towards me.

Thank you in advance for allowing me to feel confidence in my authenticity and fully love myself.

Thank you for answering my prayers and wishes, and thank you for allowing me to be full present to receive them.

I welcome October with open arms.

Love, Life, and Gratitude

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I woke up about ten minutes ago and got up to use the bathroom and feed the cats, and now I want to stay up to watch the sunrise in about 15 minutes or so. The sky is clear, the air is crisp as I’m feeling it through my bedroom window, and it just feels like a beautiful fall day.

I have been focusing on gratitude again and staying in my own energy, as I’ve noticed a lot of my toxic habits of complaining and judging coming back, and I don’t want that to be my life. I want to stay focused on my own life, my own business, and all that brings me peace.

When I was 16, I dreamt of the days that my current boyfriend and I would live on our own; having coffee together, going out to breakfast, cuddling up while watching movies/shows. I always wished upon eyelashes and dandelions that we would stay together forever and that we’d have a happy, healthy relationship, and I feel so blessed to have that today.

Now don’t get me wrong, although I trust in the assistance of the universe and angels, I know that our happiness comes from the effort we both put into the relationship. We have had to work on communication throughout the years, as well as continuing to learn about each other as we have evolved throughout the past (almost) 12 years; but the main thing is that we have always prioritized our relationship.

The relationship you have with your partner is arguably the most important relationship you have in your life. This is the person you will wake up next to and fall asleep with for the rest of your days. This is the person who will be raising your children with you. This is the person who will need your support during rough times, and also the same person you will lean on in your times of need. This is the person who you will build a life with, until either one of you inevitably passes away.

I feel so grateful every day to have such an incredible life partner, and I find it important to stay present and not take this for granted. I may get stressed with work and life in general, but I always try to turn back to gratitude and pay attention to all of the love I have in my life. People will have their judgments about anything and everything-hell I am guilty of it too-but I always know deep down that even though everyone has their own lives and flaws, but we’re all deserving of love and a peaceful life.

I am sitting on my balcony now listening to the birds chirp, realizing that I cannot see the sunrise with all of the trees in the way, but regardless I am grateful. I have a beautiful home, a plethora a good friends, and a wonderful life partner. I have my health, my intelligence, and my ability to continue to learn and grow. I have my beautiful fur babies, my reliable vehicle, and a job that allows me to live a comfortable life. Life is good when you focus on the good, and that’s what I plan to do.

My inner peace is my priority, and I deserve it.

Late Post

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I didn’t post yesterday as I was getting home from a fun weekend away with my family. It was nice to get home and rest and hang out with the love of my life, and I’m just feeling very grateful for all of the love and blessings in my life right now. I’m in a phase right now where I am not sharing a lot of details or information about life, as some things are just for me. With that being said, this is the end of this short post.

Sending love to everyone and wishing you the best- let’s make it a magical week!

Fresh

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On Friday I decided to go and get a haircut. I absolutely love my long hair, but I knew the ends were extremely dead and thin and I could see them splitting so badly. It makes sense considering it has been over a year since I’ve been to the salon, but this time I made sure to schedule an appointment for end of December so I can keep up with it.

I’m not going to lie, I was a little shocked at first, but this is nothing new. We always say it’s only going to be a couple of inches, but my curls get so happy and they start to spiral, so it automatically looks much shorter. I am feeling a lot better about it today, and I’m using it as a reminder to let go of what no longer serves me.

I was holding onto dead weight just because it appeared a certain way, but in reality it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t helping me in anyway, as it just let my hair continue to split and deteriorate. This is a good reminder for myself to let go of unhealthy habits and release any negative thoughts that don’t serve me.

I also recently got my nails fixed after snapping one down to a nub, so I feel much better now that they are cute and even. I also am finally upgrading my phone after four years! I feel like a whole new me and I am ready for abundance and new beginnings! I feel that this is going to be a good week ahead and even if it isn’t, I’m going to do my best to focus on the positives!

new spooky nails