Today is 7/7- a magical, lucky day! To celebrate, here are 7 things (insert Miley Cyrus singing here) I am grateful for today:
This weekend is busy, but it’s full of so much joy which is much needed. Yesterday was the 4th, so we went over to our friend’s house as they were hosting a BBQ. It was so nice to hang with everyone and also enjoy the bomb ass food!
Today my husband and I went to breakfast at our favorite place, and now we’re just chilling before I leave to hang with one of my other friends! I get to meet her new kitten today and we’re just gonna go with the glow and see where the day takes us! Part of me is hoping we go to the pool because it is hot and humid as hell today!
Tomorrow my husband has his go-karting league so I’m going to go watch him race! His friend who joined last time is going to race too, and this time his fiancé (also our friend) is going to join so her and I can grab a drink and watch our men do their thing!
The best part of all is my office is closed on Monday for construction so then I have a day to rest and recharge before the week! I’m just feeling so blessed and grateful to be present for the joy around me. July is feeling magical so far!
May July bring clarity and peace to all those who are needing a little extra.
May July bring answered prayers and blessings to those who have been waiting.
May July bring warmth, love and abundance to those who have been sharing their own warmth and love.
May July open doors that you never knew could open, and may you be brave enough to walk through them and claim the life you deserve.
Happy Friday!! Lorde’s new album came out! I have already listened through twice considering it is only 35 minutes long, and I love it! I have a nail appointment today, and we’re going to our friend’s game night tonight, and then tomorrow morning I get my hair done and we have another friend’s house-warming party! It’s going to be a great weekend! Who else has fun weekend plans??
I saw this post that said something along the lines of “start thinking of people as energy, you’ll spend your time wiser.” There’s just no point in spending time with energy vampires, all they do is suck the light out of you.
High school never ends until you decide it does. No matter where you work or where you further your education, you’ll have people around you who still want to spread lies and drama as a form of their own entertainment. It is up to you if you’re going to feed into that energy.
Gratitude is a magical thing. I find that I am so much more present and happy when I practice daily gratitude.
Success and being “rich” looks different to everyone- get specific with yourself about your dream life. What does it look like?
Love is always the answer, and I believe that no amount of material items could replace the feeling of genuine love and connection.
Time to check in and count some blessings. Life’s been feeling heavy lately, and I am ready to release this energy and allow good vibes to flow. I know there is so much beauty beyond the pain when we are present enough to see it.
I am grateful for my husband- I’m blessed to have someone in my life who is such a supportive, caring person; truly my rock. I feel like I have a teammate in this lifetime, and I am so happy to see our evolution throughout the years. He makes me feel beautiful every day, and I just feel so lucky to have him in my life.
I am grateful that we both have our jobs. We’re blessed to have jobs that allow us to live our life comfortably, and we’re blessed to not hate our jobs as well. I’m very grateful to be at my current job, and honestly I can’t see myself leaving unless I actually get to be a stay at home mom one day. My husband has climbed up through departments at his job over the last ten years, and I’m just so proud of all of his growth.
I’m grateful for our home. We everything we could ever need in our home. From food and clean water, to appliances and electricity- we’re blessed to have access to all of these things and to be able to afford them.
I’m grateful for my genuine friends. I am blessed to have friends who truly love and support me for who I am. I have friends who don’t see me as competition or anything other than a loved one, and that’s how I see them as well. We all just want to see each other thriving and happy.
I am grateful for sunshine and nature. Sitting in the grass and just being still while soaking up the sun has been a way for me to ground myself and kind of let go. I’ve done this a few times during my current grieving, and I will say it feels good to just sit in it all. Being in nature just reminds me of how small we all are in this world, and how blessed we are to just be here.
More than honorable mentions: my cats, iced coffee, music, my car, slippers, yoga pants, my comfy bed, shampoo, youtube… there are truly so many things I could list, and for that I am also grateful. I live an incredible, abundant life, and although it feels heavy and dark at times, I know how lucky I am, and I know how important it is to check in and count our blessings.
I’m pretty sure grief has put me into a freeze state. There are many moments where I just sit and don’t want to do anything, and I don’t feel like moving my body until the anger hits me.
Sometimes I hate how angry/upset I get when people want to discuss politics. I know it comes from the fact that I don’t trust anything on the media/news when it comes to politics, but also because it seems to feed division and chaos.
I feel like I’d be more confident if I actually followed through on my own goals and dreams, yet I still seem to just ignore my own wants and needs. Or do I not know them?
I’m tired and want to go back to bed for the rest of the day, but instead I’ll be leaving for work here in a few minutes.
The days feel extra long lately, but at least the sun is shining. Grief is such a weird thing. It hurts so bad that it numbs you out, until your brain and body are ready to feel it again – then it crashes down, and all you can do is float along and try to keep your head up.
Father’s day is always a bit weird for me. My father is alive and still very much married to my mother, and I am not even going to say that he is a bad guy or horrible person, because he is truly just unhealed. Hurt people hurt people, and my father must suffer a lot internally. I would too if I fucked up having a genuine connection with my only child.
As a teenager I would have told you he was terrible though. I would have told you how angry and mean he was to myself and my mother when no one was around to witness it. I would have told you how the more he drank, the angrier he became, and how you could 100% tell if he took something else along with his Jaeger.
Depending on how close we were, I may have told you about the time he slapped my glasses clean off my face for standing up for myself after he called me a “bitch.” Maybe I would have told you about how he cornered me in my bathroom, while I looked behind him at my mother with fearful eyes. Maybe I would have told you that after the cops came that night and we didn’t press any charges that it somehow got even worse after that.
I would have told you that my parents didn’t love each other. Hell, I’d still probably tell you that today if I hadn’t been on the healing journey I’ve been on. Now to be able to see the wounds and codependency, and I can understand why they would feel love for one another, especially when they have been together for 35 years. I just could not be apart of a relationship like that- and I have my father to thank for that.
As fucked up as my childhood was at some points, it definitely showed me a lot of what I did not want my life to be. I always knew I wanted calm, comforting love with my future husband. I knew I wanted to be with someone who handled their emotions well, and who wasn’t an angry drinker if they did have an occasional beer.
I knew I wanted a partner who saw me as a beautiful person and addition to their life; a true teammate to do this shitty thing called life with. I knew that the man I would marry would never hurt me physically or mentally, nor would he do that to our future children. I knew I had a chance to build a life outside of those walls once I got old enough, and I can’t help but be thankful for the motivation that kept me focused.
No, it wasn’t right. The rage and hurtful words I heard and witnessed was not necessary. The control and disrespect as I became an adult who was taking classes at community college was unacceptable. The lack of love I felt and lack of support for my own emotions made me realize that I’d never have a partner like that in my life- and luckily, I have the complete opposite.
My husband makes sure that I feel beautiful every single day. He does not raise his voice, nor does he have outbursts. He respects me, as well as my values and beliefs- even if he doesn’t always hold the same beliefs. He is someone who I am proud of and happy to come home to; he is someone who makes me feel safe. I am so blessed to have him in my life, and I just know that one day, he will be the best father to our child(ren).
I still will see my father today, I just make sure to go early when no drinking is happening yet. I have set my own boundaries quietly which have worked for me to have less problems and resentment over the years. I pray that he is able to heal and face what haunts him so he can put down the bottle one day, and until then I will still love him, just from a distance.
What are you passionate about?
I’m passionate about healing and mental health. I personally have grown so much throughout my healing journey, and although it took years of trying to find the right medications and the right therapist, it was so worth it. Instead of completely hating my brain and being taken over by my anxiety, I now understand why my brain is wired the way that it is, and it allows me to give myself grace and actually love myself throughout the healing process.
If we’re constantly in a state of shame and guilt, it makes it a lot harder to actually allow ourselves to heal, because we often don’t even believe that we deserve to have a better life. There’s that whole saying “you can’t shame yourself worthy, real change begins with self-love.” The difference between wanting to rip out the part of your brain that is causing your anxiety/depression/OCD vs. looking at it with empathy and compassion is HUGE.
When we start to become self-aware and actually understand why we are the way we are and we learn to love ourselves, it becomes easier to do the same for others. The harsher we judge ourselves, the more judgmental we are of other people. The more love and grace we can give to ourselves, the more we recognize how all of us are just humans, all having our own struggles and just trying to survive while also getting out of survival mode.
When it comes to jails and prison, there needs major mental health reform. The reason people commit crimes typically stems from their own brain/traumas, and although people should be punished for their crimes, there also needs to be serious mental rehabilitation if we ever went these humans to heal and thrive. Even those who are stuck in prison for life, being locked in isolation and/or treated like animals is not going to help the brain to heal and function properly.
I’m fortunate to live in a time where mental health is more widely accepted and discussed- I do worry that some people are over-prescribed and mis-diagnosed, but hopefully as time goes on we can get the best people in the field and have people living their absolutely best lives. It is wild to be able to be present and have times where I feel at peace, when I once lived with such crippling self-hatred and anxiety.
finding light in the dark 