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My heart is full

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I had such a wonderful weekend hanging out with great people and just having fun! On saturday I celebrated one of my best friends’ birthdays and we went roller blading and then made cute cocktails and played a hilarious game back at her place. Today I hung out with one of my other best friends and we had a successful shopping day after enjoying some delicious coffee and matcha early this afternoon!

Now I get to relax and spend time with the love of my life before I get some rest. I am looking forward to this week ahead, focusing more on my health and taking another social media break. I am excited to get focused again and see how much I can do! I am so grateful for this life and for all of the people in it. I am looking forward to a great week ahead!

Mini Post

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I feel like haven’t really sat down and wrote a post in a while. I know I’ve been answering some of the prompts and making little posts here and there, but I’ll have to do a larger post soon. I have been enjoying life, just focusing on all of the little things and making time for people I love. I got to go roller blading with my friend and her daughter yesterday which was super fun! And on Saturday I got to have lunch with my mom, grandma and aunts! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy lately, and I want to soak it all up!

Gratitude Check

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I am feeling so grateful and surrounded by love this season. I just sent out our save the dates today and am having lunch with my family this weekend! I also just had a good weekend with good friends and I am so happy to be present for all of the good things in my life.

I am grateful for our home and the fact that we have electricity, food and water. I am grateful for my body that breathes for me, pumps blood for me, and continuously regenerates my cells without me having to think about it. I am grateful to have a supportive, respectful fiancé who truly knows me and loves me for me. I am grateful for Dunkin’s iced coffee, although I definitely am addicted LOL! I am grateful for my job and for our financial situation, and overall I am grateful for this life!

Thank you to my angels and guides of the highest good and truth for protecting and supporting me along this lovely journey.

Protect Your Energy

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Our energy is a form of currency, and it’s important to spend it intentionally. As a recovering people-pleaser, I felt out of touch and out of control of my own energy for years. I was so focused on shoving down my true feelings in order to keep other people comfortable and to avoid any conflict or confrontation. I carried shame around my emotions; I never felt like I was allowed to express my feelings, and I definitely wasn’t taught how to do so in a healthy way.

As I grew older, I noticed resentment building inside. I was feeling so angry about everything because I felt like my life wasn’t mine. I was so focused on other people and how they were able to live their lives for themselves, and I lost myself and my own wants and needs along the way. I was spending all my time and energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than focusing myself, and it completely drained me.

I had to start coming back into my body and paying attention to how I felt around certain people and situations. I had to start being honest with myself about what I actually wanted to spend time doing and what I was doing just to “keep the peace.” Instead of saying “yes” right away out of some feeling of obligation, I started saying “let me think about it” to give myself time to sit and listen to how my mind and body truly feel before committing to anything.

Coming back to myself has been a long journey, and I continue to fall into the ego and find old habits trying to creep back in, but now I am more aware of myself and what I need to do to protect my own energy. sometimes it’s just being selective with who I spend time with, other times it’s taking a break from people in general to recharge, and sometimes it’s talking to the universe/God/source. regardless of how it’s done, it is done with intention. ✨

Morning Gratitude

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This morning I want to just lay in bed and sleep, but instead of hitting snooze I am still laying here but decided to start the day here with some good vibes and gratitude.

-I am so grateful I get to wake up next to the love of my life every morning, as it makes me feel safe, loved, and comforted.

-I am grateful to be waking up in a warm, cozy bed that is so comfortable it makes it hard to want to get out of it.

-I am grateful that I have a job where I am appreciated, I enjoy what I do, and I still have freedom to listen to headphones and work at my pace.

-I am grateful to still have both of my parents in my life, even if it may be a bit estranged with my dad, I am still blessed to have contact with both of them and I am happy I have a good relationship with my mother.

-I am grateful for this blog, as it was easy to start, it’s easy for me to post from my phone or laptop, and it’s a nice outlet for me, and also a way to inspire others.

-I am grateful to have supportive, loving friends in my life who are truly rooting for me and want the best for me. I am happy I have friends I can be my full self around.

-I am grateful to have heat in our home, as well as the AC during the summer. We are blessed that we can afford and have these luxuries.

-I am grateful for car, as she is sleek and beautiful but also very reliable and safe. I am happy we can both afford nice cars.

Overall there are so many things in this lifetime to be grateful for, and sometimes it’s important to just take a moment and think about it. Whenever I am feeling lost or overwhelmed, I have found that when I turn to the mindset of gratitude, it makes a big difference. It’s not always an easy task when emotions are running high, but like anything, it’ll just get easier with time and practice. Your life has a lot of beauty in it, take a moment to think about it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday and week ahead.

Wednesday Wisdom

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I have been feeling so much better than I felt the first week of the year, and I am fully enjoying this time. I’m still practicing discernment in my life, I am limiting the amount of information I share with others and this even includes close friends.

It is not my responsibility or even my problem if someone else is sending jealous or some negative energy my way, because I know I am protected and my energy is mine regardless; but that doesn’t mean I want to be all willy nilly with what I share.

There’s good news around me, and instead of sharing for validation or sharing to celebrate, I find that celebrating with myself and for myself is more than sufficient for me. In reality, it feels better than sharing with others. Not that my friends don’t celebrate or care, but because I can give that to myself.

I am very aware that hyper-independence is a trauma response, but it also is a strength. I know I am living in alignment with my values; I am strengthening my relationship with the universe / God, which in turn has improved my relationship with myself. I know who I can ask for help, I know I have loved ones who are truly in my corner and are rooting for me, and even though that is a small group, it is a strong, supportive, caring group.

I don’t feel the need to share all of my plans and all of my goals with people who are just waiting for me to fail, or are projecting their own self-doubt onto me. I know that I still have yet to meet members of my soul family, and I am not here to be completely shut off or turn off my empathy, but I will continue to be selective and protect myself and my dreams first.

Sunday Funday

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My friend is about to drop off her kids to hang out for a while, and I have decided that this is my opportunity to be a kid today! We have candy land and lincoln logs, and we even have a classic DVD player with a variety of Disney and Pixar movies to choose from! She’s bringing over some snacks, and we have some fun records to listen to! It’s going to be a carefree, imaginative day.

Obviously I am also going to be supervising the children and making sure everyone is staying safe and well! My fiancéis also here to help which is nice, and I know time will just fly by! Kids can talk and ask questions for hours and hours so I am interested to see what is in store today LOL.

As for the week ahead, I am feeling more comfortable at work and feeling productive every day, which is great! I am excited to get in a good groove and get caught up on things and take on more tasks. I also am excited to focus more on myself and my health outside of the office, and hopefully get a nail appointment this week! We had a huge snow storm so I didn’t feel like driving to my appointment this weekend.

We are continuing to lock things in for our wedding which has me super excited. I find myself getting extra emotional when listening to love songs, and I am just so happy and grateful that I get to marry my best friend this year! I’m just going to keep focusing on that energy this year!

1/11

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Today is January 11, aka 111! If you believe in angel numbers and all that fun witchy woo, then today is a powerful day that marks “new beginnings.” Today is also the first new moon of 2024, which is a wonderful day to set new intentions, new routines and get our booties into gear!

Mind you, if you are still feeling the heavy, exhausting energy of the new year, it is okay to just take today to slow down and pour into yourself. Give yourself grace and set time to check back in when you’re feeling like you’re in a better space energetically.

For myself, this year is an exciting one and I am looking forward to all of the love, connections, blessings and abundance that is heading my way. I am being my full self with absolutely no apologies! I am embracing my weird, bitchy, dark humor having ass self and instead of fighting the inevitable dualities in the human life, I am flowing with them.

I am advocating for myself.

I am prioritizing my peace.

I am moving with intention.

I am surrendering worries to the universe.

I am flowing, growing, and glowing.

I am taking back my power.

I am stepping into my authentic self.

I am grateful, graceful, and tasteful.

I have spent so much time focusing on my mental health and focusing on the positives, and now it’s time to enjoy all of my progress. I am dancing in the garden I grew for myself. I am singing in the rain that the universe pours into me. I am skipping through the fields of abundance that will continue to appear before me. I am breathing fresh air into my vessel, cleansing my soul from the inside out.

I am here.

I am alive.

I am free.

Thank you, angels and guides of the highest good for your divine support and protection.

Ready, Set, Grow

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I just read a post/quote and it just stopped me in my tracks. Cory Allen made a post that said “When wondering if a relationship is good for you, ask yourself: ‘would I be OK being more like them?’ Then you’ll have your answer.

Applying that to my current relationship with my fiancé, absolutely there was no doubt in my mind that I’d 100% be okay being more like him, but when I started thinking about a couple friendships I realized I may need to start being more honest with myself.

I am not like most of my friends, and I do feel like that is good to have balance and as someone who is empathic, it’s easy for me to understand why people do what they do. I don’t agree with everything that my friends do, but I also know how to set my own boundaries and not participate in things that do not align with my values- which is also probably fine and a reason I could keep all of my friends.

I struggle though when I notice certain red flags, and I don’t always know if I should bring them up or not. I guess it all goes back to how I am feeling and if whatever they are doing directly impacts me. In reality, what someone thinks about me really isn’t my business, but I also need to know that intentions are pure.

Someone who is indecisive and wishy-washy makes me hesitant, as I don’t know if they even know their own intentions. But at the same time, is that even my business? Do I really need to focus on that or overthink it?

My job is to set boundaries, advocate for myself when needed, and to take care of my own needs. I definitely have good friends and good connections, but I’m also one of those people who is very independent and prefer to keep certain things to myself. I guess as the year goes on I will just continue to listen to my gut and speak up, even if it may trigger certain things, because that is where the real growth is.