mental health

Sunday Night Thoughts

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I’ve been enjoying all of the love that is surrounding me. From the love within these walls that is shared with my fiancé, to the love exchanged in fun facetime calls with friends, to the love that extends beyond miles and reaches family in far places. I have been so blessed to have such great support, and it’s something I am trying to be present to and truly appreciate in the moment.

I have been constantly making lemon ginger immunity shots for a few weeks now, as well as putting together lunches for work and fruit jars as healthy snacks. I’ve been slacking when it comes to movement and getting in a good routine with that, but I’m about to have a schedule that is super consistent and I want to plan workouts around then. Even if it’s just starting with 3x a week, I know this is something that my body will thank me for and my future self will as well.

I am feeling another social media detox coming up, and I know that I need it. I remember how great I felt actually taking time to do the things I wanted and feeling like I had more free time and I deserve to have that again. I waste so much time scrolling and I don’t want to keep abandoning my goals and dreams; I am the only one who is standing in my way.

I am excited for this upcoming break and for my time to myself. I am focusing on spending time and energy on things that truly make me feel fulfilled, and I feel so grateful to have so many good people in my life that I can have great conversations with. I am enjoying this chapter of my life, and I am so excited to see what blessings are to come this year!

Prompt: Law Change?

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If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?

It may sound extreme, but I feel like children should not have social media or be on social accounts. The more studies and data that comes out after studying the millennials and our insane anxiety and depression shows how harmful comparison culture is and how addictive these social media apps are.

There is a loneliness epidemic because even though everyone is more technologically connected than ever, we’re also more disconnected from ourselves and other humans than ever as well! Children are addicted to likes and views, and are constantly competing against their peers for more attention or internet fame, when in reality these are not the problems any children should be worried about.

Not to mention how horrible bullying gets for children; not only could your entire class or school bully you, but if certain photos or videos were posted to the internet as a means to bully someone, that now has the potential to go viral and be seen by thousands of random people as well! What’s worse is sometimes it’s even parents posting their children’s embarrassing moments or tantrums online!

That also brings up the point of the family vlog channels on YouTube, where there are children who only know life with a camera and have no sense of privacy. These channels, if popular, tend to make money that unfortunately some of these kids will never see. There’s no rules or regulations around children as internet entertainers, and there are parents making tons of money off of their children’s online content.

I understand we need technology and social media for businesses and our jobs, but at what point will there be regulations for children on these apps? How much harm has to be caused in order for people to recognize how important it is to monitor how much time their child is spending online, or even just knowing what they’re doing when they’re in online! There are creeps all over the internet waiting for children who have parents that aren’t paying attention- I think it’s better to play it safe and delay children using any social media until adulthood.

Mini Post

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I feel like haven’t really sat down and wrote a post in a while. I know I’ve been answering some of the prompts and making little posts here and there, but I’ll have to do a larger post soon. I have been enjoying life, just focusing on all of the little things and making time for people I love. I got to go roller blading with my friend and her daughter yesterday which was super fun! And on Saturday I got to have lunch with my mom, grandma and aunts! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy lately, and I want to soak it all up!

Prompt

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Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?

I remember buying my cricut a few years ago and being so excited to do so much crafting. I made shirts and cups and wine glasses and even had some friends who made requests for certain things. Over the years I’d go through phases of being super into crafting and wanting absolutely nothing to do with it, and currently I am in a phase of not wanting to craft at all.

I thought when I got engaged I would be making myself a bunch of “fiancée” and “engaged” gear, and to be fair I did make us a pair of matching hoodies, but since that I haven’t been feeling up to making anything. I’m sure I will get back into another phase and I’ll crank out some projects, but for now I’m just focusing on writing and resting.

Gratitude Check

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I am feeling so grateful and surrounded by love this season. I just sent out our save the dates today and am having lunch with my family this weekend! I also just had a good weekend with good friends and I am so happy to be present for all of the good things in my life.

I am grateful for our home and the fact that we have electricity, food and water. I am grateful for my body that breathes for me, pumps blood for me, and continuously regenerates my cells without me having to think about it. I am grateful to have a supportive, respectful fiancé who truly knows me and loves me for me. I am grateful for Dunkin’s iced coffee, although I definitely am addicted LOL! I am grateful for my job and for our financial situation, and overall I am grateful for this life!

Thank you to my angels and guides of the highest good and truth for protecting and supporting me along this lovely journey.

Protect Your Energy

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Our energy is a form of currency, and it’s important to spend it intentionally. As a recovering people-pleaser, I felt out of touch and out of control of my own energy for years. I was so focused on shoving down my true feelings in order to keep other people comfortable and to avoid any conflict or confrontation. I carried shame around my emotions; I never felt like I was allowed to express my feelings, and I definitely wasn’t taught how to do so in a healthy way.

As I grew older, I noticed resentment building inside. I was feeling so angry about everything because I felt like my life wasn’t mine. I was so focused on other people and how they were able to live their lives for themselves, and I lost myself and my own wants and needs along the way. I was spending all my time and energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than focusing myself, and it completely drained me.

I had to start coming back into my body and paying attention to how I felt around certain people and situations. I had to start being honest with myself about what I actually wanted to spend time doing and what I was doing just to “keep the peace.” Instead of saying “yes” right away out of some feeling of obligation, I started saying “let me think about it” to give myself time to sit and listen to how my mind and body truly feel before committing to anything.

Coming back to myself has been a long journey, and I continue to fall into the ego and find old habits trying to creep back in, but now I am more aware of myself and what I need to do to protect my own energy. sometimes it’s just being selective with who I spend time with, other times it’s taking a break from people in general to recharge, and sometimes it’s talking to the universe/God/source. regardless of how it’s done, it is done with intention. ✨

My First Computer (Prompt)

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Write about your first computer.

My first computer wasn’t mine, and I’ll always remember that. When I was seven years old, I had a birthday party at the clubhouse at our apartment pool. This party I remember so many family members coming to, some I didn’t even know. One of these family members was my dad’s cousin (so also my cousin, but he was older so I probably looked at him like an uncle I didn’t know lol), and he brought in the best gift: a computer.

This is the early 2000s and we don’t have a computer in the house, as they’re relatively new and I assume they’re also not cheap. I never even thought about having a computer, but I knew that you could color on the computer and that usually they had some games, so I was excited to play with it!

I remember asking my parents “is the computer for me?!” even though I assumed that it was considering it was my birthday and everyone was bringing me gifts, but that’s when I quickly learned not to get your hopes up. My dad looked at me and without hesitation told me “no, it’s for me” and meant it.

He took that computer and, in my child eyes, became obsessed with it. He’d come home from work and be on the computer for the rest of the night. I occasionally got to play with paint and as I got a little older I could play games on disneychannel.com and what not, but I felt like the computer completely changed my dad.

He seemed angrier and like he never had time for me or my mom, and like everything on the internet was more important. This is probably why I am so passionate when it comes to screen time and how addictive it is, because parents will literally neglect their child and even their own needs for the sake of a screen.

I have since grown older and I do not wish to hold resentment. I have moved on for the better and have learned a lot throughout my life. There are many lessons I will take with and apply to my future parenthood journey, and this was an example of one. I remember how it made me feel, and I will do my best to avoid hurting my child(ren) in that way.

Wednesday Wisdom

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Just like that, January is over! if you didn’t start a new resolution or you fell out of the one you had, DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT! you’re a human, you are unlearning years worth of habits, and things take time! give yourself the same grace and love that you give to your best friends, and step into your power 💕✨

Bloguary Prompt

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What do you complain about the most?

I’d probably say that I complain the most about people. Mainly I am used to complaining about people at work who aren’t doing their jobs, but I recognize that complaining doesn’t help. This year I am at a new job, and the difference is that I am currently just observing and making notes and bringing this to the attention of my boss so we can try to come up with better processes. I also complain about people I know, but that is something I am actively working on this year, because I know I need to take accountability.

In general, this year I am working on discernment and speaking up. Instead of whining and complaining, this year I am focusing on solutions. This also applies to relationships with friends and family- instead of b*tching about someone’s behavior, I will take note and set boundaries where I see fit. If something does not have an effect on me, then I can take steps to remove myself and ignore. If something does bother me and affects me directly, it is my responsibility to speak up.

No one will ever know I am upset or bothered if I keep shoving it away, and honestly that hurts all parties in the end. It hurts me, because I am not expressing my needs or feelings, and it hurts them because I have basically been lying or hiding how I’ve actually been feeling. It may come as a shock to people when I actually start expressing my feelings, but it’s only fair to me to finally allow myself to trust in my feelings and advocate for myself.

No more fearing confrontation. No more people-pleasing. No more manipulating and invalidating my own feelings. No more whining and complaining about things that don’t impact me. No more faking niceness to “keep the peace” or to avoid hurting other people.

I am not responsible for other people’s feelings, I am responsible for mine. I would never go out of my way to be disrespectful, but I also will no longer tolerate being disrespected. I deserve better, and I will do better.