Feeling kinda meh this evening- like I don’t have any hobbies that I truly enjoy or get lost in. I know I have some, but I guess I’ve just been feeling a lack of motivation. I know it’s just a phase and it’ll pass soon, so I’m not that bothered by it, but obviously enough to write this little blurb.
life
Security vs. Adventure
blogAre you seeking security or adventure?
When I think of my marriage, I feel a huge sense of security and that is something I cherish. I prefer a secure attachment style, and that does not mean you cannot have adventure within your relationship, but there’s definitely more security than spontaneity. For someone who grew up in a chaotic, anxiety ridden home, security is something I’ve always craved; I feel so blessed to feel safe and comfortable in my marriage and in my home.
When I think of adventures, I think about vacations and spontaneous surprises. I love taking trips and seeing new places with my husband, but we also always make sure we have our money right before just going on vacations, which comes back to the security factor. I’d rather be secure in my finances than be stressed about credit cards and loans.
I understand that vacationing is fun and it can be a great refresher, but if you’re then spending years to pay it off, is it really worth that? I’d say no, especially if you’re paying interest because then that $2,000 trip easily turns into $8,000 depending if you’re just paying the minimums, how high your rate is, and how long it takes for you to pay it back.
Feeling financially secure is so important to me. I feel blessed that we can afford our bills and we are prioritizing paying off our last credit card and working towards our financial goals. We may have made some less than smart financial decisions throughout the years, but we continue to grow and learn from them, and we know that financial stability brings a huge sense of security in our lives.
Wednesday AM Haze
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Tuesday Thoughts (7/8)
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• “It is what it is” is actually a powerful mindset
• Waking up next to the love of your life is an incredible blessing that people don’t talk enough about
• Media is propaganda- and it’s waaaayyy more in our faces than it ever was in our history books
• Fear sells- be mindful of who is profiting off your consumption.
• Cleo Sol is a true healer- her music makes me feel so calm and connected
• Sensitive souls are necessary
7/7
blogToday is 7/7- a magical, lucky day! To celebrate, here are 7 things (insert Miley Cyrus singing here) I am grateful for today:
- my husband / our marriage
- iced coffee
- my pink fuzzy steering wheel cover
- music that makes me dance
- my car
- financial stability
- thrift shops
Saturday Gratitude
blogThis weekend is busy, but it’s full of so much joy which is much needed. Yesterday was the 4th, so we went over to our friend’s house as they were hosting a BBQ. It was so nice to hang with everyone and also enjoy the bomb ass food!
Today my husband and I went to breakfast at our favorite place, and now we’re just chilling before I leave to hang with one of my other friends! I get to meet her new kitten today and we’re just gonna go with the glow and see where the day takes us! Part of me is hoping we go to the pool because it is hot and humid as hell today!
Tomorrow my husband has his go-karting league so I’m going to go watch him race! His friend who joined last time is going to race too, and this time his fiancé (also our friend) is going to join so her and I can grab a drink and watch our men do their thing!
The best part of all is my office is closed on Monday for construction so then I have a day to rest and recharge before the week! I’m just feeling so blessed and grateful to be present for the joy around me. July is feeling magical so far!
FriYAAAYYY
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Happy Friday!! Lorde’s new album came out! I have already listened through twice considering it is only 35 minutes long, and I love it! I have a nail appointment today, and we’re going to our friend’s game night tonight, and then tomorrow morning I get my hair done and we have another friend’s house-warming party! It’s going to be a great weekend! Who else has fun weekend plans??
Grateful Sunday
blogTime to check in and count some blessings. Life’s been feeling heavy lately, and I am ready to release this energy and allow good vibes to flow. I know there is so much beauty beyond the pain when we are present enough to see it.
I am grateful for my husband- I’m blessed to have someone in my life who is such a supportive, caring person; truly my rock. I feel like I have a teammate in this lifetime, and I am so happy to see our evolution throughout the years. He makes me feel beautiful every day, and I just feel so lucky to have him in my life.
I am grateful that we both have our jobs. We’re blessed to have jobs that allow us to live our life comfortably, and we’re blessed to not hate our jobs as well. I’m very grateful to be at my current job, and honestly I can’t see myself leaving unless I actually get to be a stay at home mom one day. My husband has climbed up through departments at his job over the last ten years, and I’m just so proud of all of his growth.
I’m grateful for our home. We everything we could ever need in our home. From food and clean water, to appliances and electricity- we’re blessed to have access to all of these things and to be able to afford them.
I’m grateful for my genuine friends. I am blessed to have friends who truly love and support me for who I am. I have friends who don’t see me as competition or anything other than a loved one, and that’s how I see them as well. We all just want to see each other thriving and happy.
I am grateful for sunshine and nature. Sitting in the grass and just being still while soaking up the sun has been a way for me to ground myself and kind of let go. I’ve done this a few times during my current grieving, and I will say it feels good to just sit in it all. Being in nature just reminds me of how small we all are in this world, and how blessed we are to just be here.
More than honorable mentions: my cats, iced coffee, music, my car, slippers, yoga pants, my comfy bed, shampoo, youtube… there are truly so many things I could list, and for that I am also grateful. I live an incredible, abundant life, and although it feels heavy and dark at times, I know how lucky I am, and I know how important it is to check in and count our blessings.
Sat 6-21
blogToday we went to my husband’s cousin’s funeral- it was rough. I swear I was the only one who was crying and not composed- and I’m like damn, am I really the only one who feels? To be fair, the older we get, the more loss we have to experience. I’m sure many of the older people have been through this so many times that they may be more used to it- or numb to it. I’ve felt that numbness before, but today it was just waves- like I was feeling all the things that everyone else was refusing to feel.
Thursday
blogAnother day, another vet visit. We had a glucose monitor put on our cat Mushu, and the next day when I got home from work we noticed she removed it. We can try another one, but we know she will just remove it again, so we’re going back to just doing lab work. Hopefully her numbers look better and maybe we can stay on this insulin dose for her.
finding light in the dark 