I trust in the Universe to keep me protected from all evil, and all things blocking me from my purpose.
I trust my Angels and Guides to keep me on the path to my higher self, loving and supporting me along the way.
I trust in Diving Timing; even when it may not always feel right in the moment, I know there is a bigger and better plan.
There is so much beyond my control, and I no longer wish to hold the weight of the world. I trust that love and light will always prevail. I trust that people are more kind and loving and connected than the media may make it seem. I trust that there is good in this world, and greatness in the divine. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍✨
I’ve been feeling a shift coming, some wild blessings and miracles on the way. Like I’m excited, for something that I don’t know I’m excited for- if that makes sense. My birthday is around the corner, and I will say I am very excited to celebrate my 30th with my close friends, but it feels like it’s something else. Either way, I’m trusting in my angels and the universe that I can trust and just be ready to receive.
Time to check in and count some blessings. Life’s been feeling heavy lately, and I am ready to release this energy and allow good vibes to flow. I know there is so much beauty beyond the pain when we are present enough to see it.
I am grateful for my husband- I’m blessed to have someone in my life who is such a supportive, caring person; truly my rock. I feel like I have a teammate in this lifetime, and I am so happy to see our evolution throughout the years. He makes me feel beautiful every day, and I just feel so lucky to have him in my life.
I am grateful that we both have our jobs. We’re blessed to have jobs that allow us to live our life comfortably, and we’re blessed to not hate our jobs as well. I’m very grateful to be at my current job, and honestly I can’t see myself leaving unless I actually get to be a stay at home mom one day. My husband has climbed up through departments at his job over the last ten years, and I’m just so proud of all of his growth.
I’m grateful for our home. We everything we could ever need in our home. From food and clean water, to appliances and electricity- we’re blessed to have access to all of these things and to be able to afford them.
I’m grateful for my genuine friends. I am blessed to have friends who truly love and support me for who I am. I have friends who don’t see me as competition or anything other than a loved one, and that’s how I see them as well. We all just want to see each other thriving and happy.
I am grateful for sunshine and nature. Sitting in the grass and just being still while soaking up the sun has been a way for me to ground myself and kind of let go. I’ve done this a few times during my current grieving, and I will say it feels good to just sit in it all. Being in nature just reminds me of how small we all are in this world, and how blessed we are to just be here.
More than honorable mentions: my cats, iced coffee, music, my car, slippers, yoga pants, my comfy bed, shampoo, youtube… there are truly so many things I could list, and for that I am also grateful. I live an incredible, abundant life, and although it feels heavy and dark at times, I know how lucky I am, and I know how important it is to check in and count our blessings.
Today we went to my husband’s cousin’s funeral- it was rough. I swear I was the only one who was crying and not composed- and I’m like damn, am I really the only one who feels? To be fair, the older we get, the more loss we have to experience. I’m sure many of the older people have been through this so many times that they may be more used to it- or numb to it. I’ve felt that numbness before, but today it was just waves- like I was feeling all the things that everyone else was refusing to feel.
The days feel extra long lately, but at least the sun is shining. Grief is such a weird thing. It hurts so bad that it numbs you out, until your brain and body are ready to feel it again – then it crashes down, and all you can do is float along and try to keep your head up.
On my way to work this morning I could not get myself together, so I ended up texting my bosses and calling off. Last night we found out that my husband’s cousin lost her battle with cancer. Her health started to rapidly decline recently, and she passed away yesterday morning.
Grief is such a hard thing to navigate. One moment you’re frozen in shock; complete disbelief- almost numb. The next moment, all the emotions come crashing down and around you- completely engulfed in the heaviness. The next you start to think about how grateful you are to have had time with your loved one… to have had them there at your wedding only less than a year ago- then the sadness washes back.
I felt guilty for calling in and being an emotional wreck while my husband, the one who is blood related to his cousin, is at work and holding it together. We are here for each other, we comfort one another, yet I feel guilty for being the one who seems to need more of it. At the same time, I am just a feeling person. I’m sensitive and I love hard, so the loss is hard.
I also am spiritual, unlike my husband, and I right after we found out about his cousin’s passing, I had to tell him about the butterfly I saw. When I was at work yesterday morning, a large, gorgeous black butterfly flew over to the window by my desk. I honestly don’t recall ever seeing a black butterfly before, and definitely not one of this size. I was so amazed and captivated by this butterfly that I couldn’t help but just be in that moment.
When we found out about her passing, after the initial shock and tears I thought about that butterfly. I couldn’t help but think… was that her? This brought a moment of peace amidst the grief: she was telling me that she was still here with me (us) but in a different form now.
Today I am sitting in the grief. I am releasing the guilt and shame about how I grieve. I am not ashamed of how deeply I feel and how much I love people. As a child I was often shamed for my big emotions, which is where this icky feeling stems from; but I know I am not being dramatic. I am being human.
Today I am also leaning into my spirituality and beliefs in our angels on the other side. The signs I see are clear to me, and I know that our loved one is watching us and supporting us from the other side. She had so much love for us here earth-side, so I can only imagine the power of her divine love.
I took a moment this morning to pause and set myself in the shoes of those who are anxious and angry right now- this is what came about:
Imagine getting ripped away from your family, or watching yours get ripped away from you.
Imagine fearing going to work or walking down the street because you think you may get mistakenly arrested or even kidnapped by your own goverment.
Imagine not knowing what tomorrow holds for you or your family… this is how so many people are feeling at this time.
If you don’t understand, then you’re blessed not to, so take time to recognize that. Before you judge someone for how they are handling their fears and the chaos that is around them, take a moment to remember how humans operate in survival mode. Take a moment to think about what you’d do if you saw your own parent/sibling/child was taken from you.
We are all HUMAN BEINGS on the SAME PLANET. No one should be treated as less than the other. Sending love to all of my friends who are feeling extra anxious and fearful at this time. sending love to everyone who is impacted by the riots and ICE and whatever tf is going on with our government right now.
I am privileged to be so “disconnected” from this by not watching the news, but in my soul I can feel the weight of this collective fear, and I cannot remain silent. again, we’re all humans on this planet, and we all deserve to live loving, peaceful, and free lives.
From Dark to Light 