May October feel cozy and sweet, like the cinnamon and pumpkin seasonings in our drinks.
May October feel like a breath of fresh air, bringing peace and quiet to chaotic minds and bodies.
May October feel like letting go, releasing all of the weights and worries that were never ours to hold.
May October bring clarity and comfort to all who are needing a little extra lately.
I pray October is bringing love, blessings and peace to the entire collective. I pray we are present enough to see and receive all of life’s beautiful offers and opportunities. I pray that this month we’re all able to trust and lean into faith, rather than succumbing to fear and doubt. May October be blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It’s Monday! I’m tired, but grateful for this job and this week. My husband and I were supposed to get tattoos this weekend, but our tattoo artist had to reschedule due to having Covid. We ended up filling our weekend with other fun activities: we went and saw a movie, and we also went to the shooting range!
I definitely cried and basically had a whole panic attack before going to the range, but I mustered up the courage and I shot three different guns! I have also been having so much fun with my new iPad and making digital designs that on ProCreate! I finally feel like I have a hobby that it’s hard to pull me away from, which is making me feel very excited!
I hope everyone has a great week ahead! Here are some recent designs I’ve made:
It’s been a while since I’ve done this and I remember how good it made me feel, so here are some things and I am grateful for today and why!
My husband. I’m so blessed to have such a respectful, loving, intelligent man as my life partner. He makes me feel loved and appreciated, and I am so grateful for all of the patience and support he has given me throughout the years.
Our home. It is truly a blessing to wake up with electricity, clean running water, appliances to wash clothes and keep groceries cold. We’re lucky we bought our home when we did and it’s a blessing to be able to afford our mortgage.
Iced coffee. This sounds like such a minuscule thing in life, yet it brings me so much joy. I love having a little treat that includes some caffeine, and I’m grateful we can afford this little luxury.
My job. I’m so happy to be in a job where I no longer have a toxic boss/manager, I am not micromanaged, and I bosses who actually ask for and listen to feedback. I am so glad I found this office and I plan to stay here for the long haul!
My health. I am able to walk, talk, eat, drive, use the bathroom, dance, and do a whole bunch of things without needing assistance, and that is a blessing. I’m grateful that my blood pumps and my lungs breathe all without me having to think about it.
There are soooo many things I could list, but I need to get ready for work! What are you feeling grateful for today?
My name is Jena, and it’s pronounced “Jenna.” The amount of times I was called “Gina” by substitute teachers really confused me as a kid! My name is Jena because originally my parents were thinking about naming me Genesis. I wouldn’t not consider myself religious, and honestly, I’m not sure if my parents really would consider themselves religious anymore either, but I definitely believe in a higher power.
Genesis refers to the origin or beginning of something, and me arriving in their lives as their first (and only) child was definitely a new beginning for my parents. When I was young my dad was in a band, and he wrote a song called “Jena Says,” which was a play on Genesis as far as I know. I should probably ask to hear this song, or at least read the lyrics at some point.
I’ve always had this dream of starting a podcast, and I’ve always said it would be called “Jena Says,” because it gives homage to Genesis and new beginnings, but it also gives me freedom to talk about any and all topics, rather than being limited to one genre. I know I’d talk about my healing and spiritual journey, but I’d also love to talk about dental insurance being horrendous and relationships and happy things! I’d also love to have friends and guests on to discuss topics that they feel passionate about!
It’s something I’ve had in my heart for a while, and I’m working on trying to get past self-sabotaging habits and breaking through perfectionism. I’m recognizing that I just need to start doing something regularly, even if it’s just writing up a paragraph or recording for five minutes. Cocoon season is right around the corner, so as I hibernate in my home, maybe I can dive into this dream.
Today was such an incredible day. My family from Iowa came out to visit and take me and my husband out for my birthday. They also blessed us with a very generous gift, and I’m beyond grateful for them. I feel just so grateful and lucky honestly, and I am just happy to be present to it all.
My husband and I also went over to visit his family at the farmer’s market! They have a barbecue business and they’re a vendor at the market every Friday, so we decided to stop by and say hi! When we were leaving the market, another vendor selling cute jewelry caught my eye, and I ended up getting a cute evil eye bracelet, ring, and a pair of snake earrings! It was 3 for $30 and I just happened to have $30 cash in my wallet!
Tomorrow I get to see some of my good friends as we all get together to celebrate my birthday!! We’re gonna go to the local fair and I can’t wait to get a funnel cake as my birthday cake! I’m not a huge cake fan, but I loooveee me some funnel cake so honestly I’m so excited for this! I’m also just excited to see all the people who make me happy and feel loved- it’s just the best feeling.
I also get to take a mini girls trip early next week to go see Glass Animals in concert and I am looking forward to that as well! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy to be living this life. I’ve healed enough that I am actually able to feel the love around me and truly be happy, and I am so grateful for that.
I’ve been feeling a shift coming, some wild blessings and miracles on the way. Like I’m excited, for something that I don’t know I’m excited for- if that makes sense. My birthday is around the corner, and I will say I am very excited to celebrate my 30th with my close friends, but it feels like it’s something else. Either way, I’m trusting in my angels and the universe that I can trust and just be ready to receive.
On my way to work this morning I could not get myself together, so I ended up texting my bosses and calling off. Last night we found out that my husband’s cousin lost her battle with cancer. Her health started to rapidly decline recently, and she passed away yesterday morning.
Grief is such a hard thing to navigate. One moment you’re frozen in shock; complete disbelief- almost numb. The next moment, all the emotions come crashing down and around you- completely engulfed in the heaviness. The next you start to think about how grateful you are to have had time with your loved one… to have had them there at your wedding only less than a year ago- then the sadness washes back.
I felt guilty for calling in and being an emotional wreck while my husband, the one who is blood related to his cousin, is at work and holding it together. We are here for each other, we comfort one another, yet I feel guilty for being the one who seems to need more of it. At the same time, I am just a feeling person. I’m sensitive and I love hard, so the loss is hard.
I also am spiritual, unlike my husband, and I right after we found out about his cousin’s passing, I had to tell him about the butterfly I saw. When I was at work yesterday morning, a large, gorgeous black butterfly flew over to the window by my desk. I honestly don’t recall ever seeing a black butterfly before, and definitely not one of this size. I was so amazed and captivated by this butterfly that I couldn’t help but just be in that moment.
When we found out about her passing, after the initial shock and tears I thought about that butterfly. I couldn’t help but think… was that her? This brought a moment of peace amidst the grief: she was telling me that she was still here with me (us) but in a different form now.
Today I am sitting in the grief. I am releasing the guilt and shame about how I grieve. I am not ashamed of how deeply I feel and how much I love people. As a child I was often shamed for my big emotions, which is where this icky feeling stems from; but I know I am not being dramatic. I am being human.
Today I am also leaning into my spirituality and beliefs in our angels on the other side. The signs I see are clear to me, and I know that our loved one is watching us and supporting us from the other side. She had so much love for us here earth-side, so I can only imagine the power of her divine love.
finding light in the dark 