Monday Morning

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It was just 5:55 on the clock, which is the angel number for “change.” Well, in two short days I get to marry the love of my life! I’m so grateful that we may it to our destination safely, and I also already had some family arrive as well! The rest of our friends and family arrive tomorrow, and then Wednesday is the big day!

We get to spend the next few days in our lovely suite with the ocean view! Although we may already miss our cats, it will be nice to be away from work and chores for a little while and just be able to focus on each other and all the love that surrounds us. 🤍

Fulfilled

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In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

When I think of a hard day of work, I definitely feel satisfied at the end of the day if I feel like I accomplished the goals I wanted to. When I feel like I have been productive and have crossed a lot off my list, I feel fulfilled in the way that I actually followed through on my goal.

It’s a lot easier for me to be productive and goal oriented in a work environment- sometimes I wonder if it’s still feeding a part of my inner child that craves approval and praise. When it comes to my own personal life, if I have a day where I can cross a bunch of chores of the list, I definitely feel fulfilled. I feel like I have taken care of my home and I have rid myself of overwhelming piles of tasks, which is satisfying.

Since moving away from people-pleasing and perfectionism tendencies, I have since recognized that my worth is not defined by how accomplished I am in the workplace or how clean my home is. I am worthy as I am, and as I lean into self love/care, I have also realized how important rest is. Burnout isn’t fun for anyone, nor is it worth it to sacrifice your health and wellbeing all in the name of being productive. As much as I enjoy feeling fulfilled by a hard day’s work, I also enjoy resting and recharging, so that I can feel fulfilled even when I am not doing anything.

9/25/24

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Alright everyone- ya girl has been FEELING the effects of this eclipse, but I def feel like I got a sign from my angels today✨✨✨ 

quick story time: my fiancé and I are getting married one week from today in Florida. last week we had some emergency dental work that came up for him, and now this week a hurricane is heading to our destination wedding spot 😅 I’ve been trying to lean into faith over fear like Gabby Bernstein says, and I’ve just been taking to my angels and releasing as much as I can. 

well today, I had shuffled my “QVEEN ONLY” playlist that is just all of Qveen Herby’s discography and the song “Wifey” came on, and then immediately after her song “Alright” came on- and I look up and the car in front of me has “4444” on their license plate 🥹 

i’m like okay my angels 100% sent their sign to me that everything will be alright 🤍🤍🤍

Back to Trusting

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Doing my best to lean into faith over fear, and trusting all will work as it should. My fiancé and I are planning to be married in eight days, and there is a potential for a hurricane to strike our wedding location by the end of this week. I can only pray that the storm dissipates and never hits land, as obviously the weather is beyond my control. Regardless, we will be getting married on our 13th anniversary and that is truly what matters. I am doing what I did with the last situation and just doing my best to turn my worries over to my angels and focus on the good that is here now.

Feeling Grateful

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I’m feeling so much lighter today, and just overall grateful for life and the divine guidance and love that surrounds me and my loved ones. I’m getting married in nine days, and I cannot help but smile when I think of meeting my fiancé at the altar. Life truly is a gift, and I am so thankful.

Best Advice

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What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Since I’ve been on a mental health / healing journey, I have come across a lot of golden nuggets of wisdom and advice. When I read this prompt, what immediately came to mind is something that Mel Robbins has discussed on her podcast and what her next book topic is about: “Let them.”

The whole point of the “Let Them Theory” is to have a better sense of inner peace as well as control over one’s own mindset. We can do this by not taking things personally, but also by recognizing that we have no control over how someone else behaves and it is not our responsibility to control them.

Sometimes we let other people’s actions and beliefs affect our own lives, by constantly thinking about, judging or trying to “fix” them. It’s also kind of funny because we know how hard it is to change ourselves and develop new habits, yet we can get so bothered by other people not changing who they are. Instead of focusing on how someone else is living their life, just let them.

Stop and Just Be

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Today I went inside Dunkin’ to order coffee, because the drive thru line was insane. Once I was inside I was able to order right away and went over to the pick up area to wait for my drinks. The cold brew for my fiancé came out quickly, and then I was just waiting on my iced coffee. A line of people start forming by me as they are also awaiting their orders, and the start minutes going by. Turns out they had run out of iced coffee, so they were working on making another batch. The beeping of the machines was so loud and felt never-ending, and the staff was all moving around quickly doing each of their duties as best as they could with the circumstances.

As I was sitting there, I started thinking about the experience as a metaphor for life. Being in that restaurant, as overstimulating as it was, was really just showing me the art of patience and mastering our own minds. Whether the employees decide to get frustrated or customers decide to get angry, nothing was going to change. Yelling and being upset is not going to make the iced coffee come faster. Giving up and throwing in the towel was not going to stop the mobile orders receipts from piling up. As much as it can feel like “when it rains, it pours,” how we shift our mindset and process our emotions is key.

There is so much external sh*t in our lives that we cannot control. The more time we spend trying to control our external environment, the more we are ignoring our inner world. Instead of focusing on how long the wait is or why the staff didn’t make iced coffee “fast enough,” why not focus on the fact that you are still having your iced coffee made for you. Why not focus on the fact that you’re lucky enough to not be behind that counter with the stress of having customers scream around you for things you’re actively trying to fix. When we focus on what is within our control (aka our mindset/perspective) we can become less rigid and overwhelmed by life.

There are things in life that you truly can never prepare for. Things like becoming a parent, having a parent pass away, witnessing an unexpected tragedy- these are beyond our control, yet we still have to live with the results. Life will continue to throw challenges our way, which is why mental health and emotional wellbeing are so important. The more we understand ourselves and how we process certain things, the more we can support ourselves during the journey of life.

Being able to have a more positive perspective or being able to lean into faith and letting go allows for less tension and suffering in our minds and bodies. Worrying about things beyond our control only fuels fear and robs us of the peace and joy we can find in the present moment. I have been actively trying to be more present in my life, and I know that there is so much comfort in stepping back and getting out of survival mode.

I could have become irritable and impatient waiting for my iced coffee, and I could have even used the excuse of all of the chaos that ensued in my life over this past week, but what was that going to do for me? Encourage my misery? Allow me to stay in a victim mentality? Instead I tapped into this “life imitates art” moment and recognized the metaphor in front of me. There is peace in letting go- whether it’s letting go of expectations, outcomes, or the need to control the situations around you, you’ll find that there is a feeling of content that washes over you when you stop and just be.

Friday Eve

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Today we have my work bridal shower which I am so excited for! I’m ready for pizza and delicious cheese curds!! LOL

Also tomorrow one of my high school BFFs is turning 30!!! I’m so excited to celebrate w/ her and her other friends/family tomorrow! I’m just soaking up all the love and celebrations happening!

Although life brings stresses and fun challenges, I trust the universe has my back and all is working out how it should. Thank you, thank you, thank you.