Stop and Just Be

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Today I went inside Dunkin’ to order coffee, because the drive thru line was insane. Once I was inside I was able to order right away and went over to the pick up area to wait for my drinks. The cold brew for my fiancé came out quickly, and then I was just waiting on my iced coffee. A line of people start forming by me as they are also awaiting their orders, and the start minutes going by. Turns out they had run out of iced coffee, so they were working on making another batch. The beeping of the machines was so loud and felt never-ending, and the staff was all moving around quickly doing each of their duties as best as they could with the circumstances.

As I was sitting there, I started thinking about the experience as a metaphor for life. Being in that restaurant, as overstimulating as it was, was really just showing me the art of patience and mastering our own minds. Whether the employees decide to get frustrated or customers decide to get angry, nothing was going to change. Yelling and being upset is not going to make the iced coffee come faster. Giving up and throwing in the towel was not going to stop the mobile orders receipts from piling up. As much as it can feel like “when it rains, it pours,” how we shift our mindset and process our emotions is key.

There is so much external sh*t in our lives that we cannot control. The more time we spend trying to control our external environment, the more we are ignoring our inner world. Instead of focusing on how long the wait is or why the staff didn’t make iced coffee “fast enough,” why not focus on the fact that you are still having your iced coffee made for you. Why not focus on the fact that you’re lucky enough to not be behind that counter with the stress of having customers scream around you for things you’re actively trying to fix. When we focus on what is within our control (aka our mindset/perspective) we can become less rigid and overwhelmed by life.

There are things in life that you truly can never prepare for. Things like becoming a parent, having a parent pass away, witnessing an unexpected tragedy- these are beyond our control, yet we still have to live with the results. Life will continue to throw challenges our way, which is why mental health and emotional wellbeing are so important. The more we understand ourselves and how we process certain things, the more we can support ourselves during the journey of life.

Being able to have a more positive perspective or being able to lean into faith and letting go allows for less tension and suffering in our minds and bodies. Worrying about things beyond our control only fuels fear and robs us of the peace and joy we can find in the present moment. I have been actively trying to be more present in my life, and I know that there is so much comfort in stepping back and getting out of survival mode.

I could have become irritable and impatient waiting for my iced coffee, and I could have even used the excuse of all of the chaos that ensued in my life over this past week, but what was that going to do for me? Encourage my misery? Allow me to stay in a victim mentality? Instead I tapped into this “life imitates art” moment and recognized the metaphor in front of me. There is peace in letting go- whether it’s letting go of expectations, outcomes, or the need to control the situations around you, you’ll find that there is a feeling of content that washes over you when you stop and just be.

Friday Eve

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Today we have my work bridal shower which I am so excited for! I’m ready for pizza and delicious cheese curds!! LOL

Also tomorrow one of my high school BFFs is turning 30!!! I’m so excited to celebrate w/ her and her other friends/family tomorrow! I’m just soaking up all the love and celebrations happening!

Although life brings stresses and fun challenges, I trust the universe has my back and all is working out how it should. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

9-17-24 Full Moon Lunar Eclipse

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The energy of today is to take out the trash! Release anything no longer serving you. Look at your routines, your relationships, your inner dialogue- what needs to be released so that you can feel lighter and more free?

The astrology accounts I see talk about big changes and breakthroughs coming with eclipses, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling the chaotic energy. It’s heavy, but energizing- it feels like it fuels whatever the focus is on.

The other thing about eclipses is to release expectations, but also expect the unexpected. Remember all is happening for you, and the universe has a plan that you may not understand in this moment, but this is all important for your transformation.

I’m releasing the need to control. I’m releasing negative thoughts and resentment. I am releasing the negative beliefs that linger in the depths of my mind. I am releasing the tension that resides in my shoulders and jaw, as well as the tension in the rest of my body. I am releasing the need to have any external approval or validation. I am releasing any negative judgements towards myself and others. I am releasing all that does not serve my highest self.

Sending love to all and here’s to everyone having a positively transformative eclipse season!

Lessons

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Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

If there’s anything I wish I would have learned or known earlier, it’s that I should be keeping my own peace, not everyone else’s. I didn’t need to stay sheltered away, hiding my true feelings and thoughts as a way to make sure I never made anyone else feel uncomfortable. I didn’t need to keep saying “yes” to things out that I really wanted to say “no” to, because a fake yes is really just a resentful one, and no one wants that either.

I wish I had recognized just how toxic “people-pleasing” was, because in reality, it’s manipulative and completely inauthentic. It makes so much sense to me now, and I see how avoiding potential conflict just delays having any sort of meaningful conversations and connections. I also see how wild it is to put so much on your plate to be “helpful” for others, just to burn out and feel resentful when, in reality, you didn’t have to help in the first place.

It’s much better to be open and honest if you want to create and true friendships/relationships. It’s important to be mindful and intentional with our words, and that does include saying how we feel and sharing our own opinions so that we can authentically connect with others. If you share your true self with someone and they don’t like it, now you both have the ability to decide if it is a relationship worth keeping.

I never needed to deny my own gut feelings or opinions, I have always been allowed to share them. I know in the past I struggled a lot more with self-worth, so it was much harder to deal with the thought of losing a friendship. Now, as I have been healing and learning more about myself, I’d rather have real friends who truly know and support the real me.

I know who I am and how much I care about others, and I know that my close connections deserve to know the real me. I now am able to say “no” to things without feeling guilty, I am able to express an opinion that could be rough to hear and not be worried or afraid, because I know I am being true to myself.

I am an open-minded person, and I am able to empathize, but I also have to have boundaries to remain healthy. It has been quite a journey, but I vow to myself that I will no longer dim my own light or make myself small for the sake of “keeping the peace.” Instead I will focus on keeping my own peace, and that means being completely honest and authentic.

Friday Feels

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Happy Friday the 13th!

I know most people feel like today is superstitious and unlucky, but I am the opposite. Today I am feeling blessed, grateful, and overall full of love! The wedding is only 19 days away and I am so ready to be married to my fiancé.

I also cannot get over that we’re getting married on our 13th anniversary, and 13 has always been his lucky number. We also happen to have a new moon solar eclipse the day of our wedding! Although we won’t see the eclipse, it’s exciting to have a celestial event going on during our special day!

Everything feels like divine timing and alignment, and I am so happy to be present to it all.

9/9 – Completion

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Today is 9/9 and we all know how much I love repeating numbers! I have only scratched the surface of numerology and astrology, but I do follow some accounts on Instagram and they are talking about how this 9 signifies completion of a cycle/journey.

Today is a great day to take time to reflect on your journey so far, celebrating what has brought you to this current moment. It’s also a great time to release anything that is no longer serving your highest self. This gives us a nice transition into our next cycle, where we can realign our focus to what is important for us now, in this new chapter.

Today I am so proud of where I am. My relationship with my fiancé, my friendships, my workplace- all is feeling abundant and well. My mental health has improved greatly over the recent years, and I am so grateful that I’ve stayed dedicated to improving my mental health and learning to love myself.

I am releasing the tension and fears that keep me stagnant and obsessive, as I know I can lean into my intuition and I can trust myself to handle anything that comes my way. I am releasing the fearful “future-thinking” that keeps me away from the present moment where I am safe and supported. I am releasing the trust issues I have with myself, and I am leaning into the trust I have with the divine.

I am so grateful for this life. I am grateful for this love. I am grateful for the support all around me, both in the physical world and beyond. I’ve dreamt of these days, and I am grateful to be present to enjoy them. 🤍

If I had to give up a word

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If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

It would probably be a swear word since I definitely find myself using those too often. As much as I’d love to give up the “F” word, I find it so versatile LOL 😂

Actually, scratch that- I’d give up the word “should,” because it is annoying. “I should be doing xyz,” or “it should be done this way,” or really any time we use should, who is to say that we “should” or “should not.” I feel like it gets used a lot in a shaming way for me, like “I should have gone to the gym” or “I should be doing laundry,” but really I could shift that to a more positive framing. I’ve read/heard about changing it to “I have the opportunity to go to the gym,” or “I get to do laundry in my own house,” and kinda shifting the mindset. So yeah, I guess I’d get rid of “should.”

Holding Grudges

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Are you holding a grudge? About?

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m holding a grudge, because to me that feels like it’s something I consistently think about or give this angry, resentful energy towards someone or something. I don’t feel that way, but if someone has disrespected me and there has been no repair or apology, that is something I don’t forget.

I can forgive, mainly because I know that nothing is really personal and people do things based on their own self perception, but it’s not something I will just forget. I feel like it is important to remember when people show you who they are, and just adjust how you spend your time and energy accordingly.