mental health

9/9 – Completion

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Today is 9/9 and we all know how much I love repeating numbers! I have only scratched the surface of numerology and astrology, but I do follow some accounts on Instagram and they are talking about how this 9 signifies completion of a cycle/journey.

Today is a great day to take time to reflect on your journey so far, celebrating what has brought you to this current moment. It’s also a great time to release anything that is no longer serving your highest self. This gives us a nice transition into our next cycle, where we can realign our focus to what is important for us now, in this new chapter.

Today I am so proud of where I am. My relationship with my fiancé, my friendships, my workplace- all is feeling abundant and well. My mental health has improved greatly over the recent years, and I am so grateful that I’ve stayed dedicated to improving my mental health and learning to love myself.

I am releasing the tension and fears that keep me stagnant and obsessive, as I know I can lean into my intuition and I can trust myself to handle anything that comes my way. I am releasing the fearful “future-thinking” that keeps me away from the present moment where I am safe and supported. I am releasing the trust issues I have with myself, and I am leaning into the trust I have with the divine.

I am so grateful for this life. I am grateful for this love. I am grateful for the support all around me, both in the physical world and beyond. I’ve dreamt of these days, and I am grateful to be present to enjoy them. 🤍

If I had to give up a word

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If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

It would probably be a swear word since I definitely find myself using those too often. As much as I’d love to give up the “F” word, I find it so versatile LOL 😂

Actually, scratch that- I’d give up the word “should,” because it is annoying. “I should be doing xyz,” or “it should be done this way,” or really any time we use should, who is to say that we “should” or “should not.” I feel like it gets used a lot in a shaming way for me, like “I should have gone to the gym” or “I should be doing laundry,” but really I could shift that to a more positive framing. I’ve read/heard about changing it to “I have the opportunity to go to the gym,” or “I get to do laundry in my own house,” and kinda shifting the mindset. So yeah, I guess I’d get rid of “should.”

Holding Grudges

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Are you holding a grudge? About?

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m holding a grudge, because to me that feels like it’s something I consistently think about or give this angry, resentful energy towards someone or something. I don’t feel that way, but if someone has disrespected me and there has been no repair or apology, that is something I don’t forget.

I can forgive, mainly because I know that nothing is really personal and people do things based on their own self perception, but it’s not something I will just forget. I feel like it is important to remember when people show you who they are, and just adjust how you spend your time and energy accordingly.

Welcome September

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✨ w e l c o m e S e p t e m b e r ✨

may your September bring you peace, love and abundance. may you feel lighter and warmer as we enter into the fall season. may all of your worries fade away, and may you make room for the incredible opportunities that await you. may September treat you better than you expect it to. 🤍

Tears of Joy

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What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

Since this year is my wedding year, I feel like I’ve been crying more tears of joy than I have in my lifetime. From trying on the dress for the first time, to visualizing walking down the aisle and up to the altar, the tears have been flowing steadily.

I used to hate my sensitivities as how often I cried at everything, but now when I find myself getting emotional, I meet myself with love. Although it can feel exhausting when I feel pain and sadness very deeply, it is absolutely incredible when I feel joy and love at that same depth.

This year I have found myself sitting in those moments of pure joy, and just allowing the tears to flow. Then when I actually think about my growth/progress with my mental health, the tears just flow faster. I used to feel so empty and numb, feeling like nothing in life would ever be enough, and that is no longer my reality.

Crying is honestly one of my favorite things about being a human, because it is sooo relieving. I’ve had those days/weeks/months of grieving losses throughout the years, and as much as I felt like I’d never ever be able to stop, I never held them back. So what if I cried everyday for months? I wasn’t going to shame myself for how much love I had for someone.

Love is a beautiful thing, and we all deserve to be well loved… especially by ourselves. I am leaning more and more into love and this journey has brought many tears of happiness along the way. I am so proud of who I am today and how dedicated I have been to the journey. I have talked about having my emotions basically turned off with medications, and that experience has made me appreciate my feelings and sensitivities so much more.

I am grateful to have access to therapy, as I continue to learn about and understand myself, it makes it easier to love myself. I am also grateful for podcasters/authors like Mel Robbins and Dr. Nicole Lepera, as they give resources for self-help and share their own experiences in a meaningful way to help others grow and be their most authentic selves.

Life is a wild ride, full of every single emotion you could ever imagine, and I am prioritizing joy wherever I can. We never know when life will end for us or those around us, so take this time we have now to let your loved ones know they’re loved by you. Spend time with the friends who you can be your full self around and where you’re laughing 70%+ of the time.

We are all going to cry tears of pain and sadness in this lifetime, which is why I embrace and enjoy the tears of joy when they come. I am blessed to be here in this moment, and I am so grateful for where I am today.

Sunday Card Pull

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Deck: Gabby Bernstein’s “The Universe Has Your Back”

Take a moment to tune into the energy of love. When is a time where you felt the warmth in your heart? A time where your cheeks hurt because you couldn’t stop smiling? Was it during the holidays? At a concert? On a hike? Tap into that feeling, and sit with it. Let that feeling wash over your entire body, from your crown to your toes. Soak it in so deeply that you take this loving energy with you today, spreading it to any and all who come your way.

The world always needs more love, start with yourself. 💖

Favorite Time of Day

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What’s your favorite time of day?

Lately I’ve been loving evenings, because that’s when I get to cuddle up with my fiancé and watch Game of Thrones together. This is my first time watching it, and I’m really enjoying it! I had tried to watch it with him years ago, but I just couldn’t get into it- now we’re almost done with season six!

I also enjoy mornings when I don’t have to go to work. For example, right now it’s 6:51am and I have nowhere to be today. I get to lay in bed and write in my blog, while listening to this YouTube fireplace I had originally put on to fall asleep. Peaceful mornings like these are also quite enjoyable.

Releasing / Accepting

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I release any tension stored within my shoulders and hips, letting go of the traumas that wish to stay buried within me.

I release any shame that my inner child carries, letting go of hurtful words and beliefs that were never mine to hold onto.

I release the limiting beliefs that float around in my brain, letting go of perfectionism and fears that only hinder me from following my dreams.

I accept and am open to the loving support from the universe, please allow me to be a light in this world.

I accept and am open to the abundance that is waiting for me, please allow me to make room for the gifts that are meant for me.

I accept and am open to peace and harmony, please allow me to release any blockages that are keeping me from that state of mind.

I am so grateful to be here healing and growing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sunday 8/18

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I feel like I haven’t really sat down to write an actual long blog post in a while. I guess I could go back and look, and maybe this just feels different because I am writing this on my laptop, rather than my phone. Regardless, I am just happy to write and happy with this season of my life. I feel so supported by loved ones around me, and it has been such a beautiful year. It is crazy to think that in just 6 weeks, I will be marrying the love of my life!

Whenever I visualize seeing him at the end of the aisle and up at the alter, I cannot help but feel so warm and full of pure joy. We have been building this foundation for many years- I mean, we’re getting married on our 13th anniversary! I feel so grateful to have such a loving, respectful man as my life partner. I have been seeing so many signs that feel like direct support from the divine, and I am so thankful for all of the love we have received from friends and family.

This year also has felt very transformative for me and for my relationships. I have been able to overcome fears and have difficult conversations that have only strengthened the connections. Me hiding my true feelings or staying quiet when I feel uncomfortable was not good for anyone. I always thought it was better to keep the peace and not try to question anyone’s opinions or actions when I was confused or felt differently, but that was creating inauthenticity within the friendship.

I feel that if you truly want a healthy relationship with another person, whether platonic or romantic, you have to be honest with yourself and each other. For me, leaning into authenticity is one of the best ways to do this. Saying what you need to say with love and good intentions, even if it means feelings could come up, is better than holding in all of your true thoughts and basically pretending to be okay with everything. Any relationship you lose from being authentic isn’t a loss; we deserve to be surrounded with people who love us for who we are.

For years I made sure everyone around me always felt at ease or as comfortable as possible, putting their own needs before my own, and now I vow to live a life where I take into account my own comfort level. I am allowed to speak up when uncomfortable. I am allowed to say “no” when my normal reaction would be to say “yes” out of obligation. I owe it to myself and to my inner child to trust my own instincts and to set boundaries where needed. I am an empathetic person, but I recently read a quote that said: “empathy without boundaries is self-sabotage.”

Honestly, I am feeling quite excited for what the future holds, and I am eager to continue leaning into authenticity and be proud of who I am, as I am. The more I pay attention to my emotions and my triggers, the more I learn about myself and what I need and what aids in my inner peace. Knowing what I need allows me to do those things for myself, but also communicate with loved ones when I need to set certain boundaries. I am the one who is guaranteed to be with me until my soul leaves this Earth, and I deserve to give myself peace and love during this lifetime.

1:11

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I’ve been seeing 111 a lot over the last couple weeks. In angel numbers this can symbolize both new beginnings and also trusting one’s intuition. I’m leaning into this energy and trusting that all is well and good things are happening for me. I’m so grateful for these signs and for the support I have from my loved ones on the other side. 🤍✨