Wow, I can’t believe it’s already May! Getting closer to sunny weather and summertime! I am starting off this month with a girls trip to celebrate my friend’s 30th birthday!! I’m so excited for this month, I can just feel good vibes and energy all heading my way!
I pray that May brings peace and abundance to all of us who are seeking it.
I pray that May is full of love and happiness, and everyone is able to receive it.
I pray that May brings miracles and blessings that leave us so beyond in awe and strengthen our faith in the universe.
I pray that May shows you so many signs and synchronicities; I pray you feel how close your angels and guides are.
Good morning! I’m so happy to see the sun shining on this gorgeous day- a day of rest and resetting. Self care is on the list today- which includes a little bit of spoiling ourselves with some pedicures today. My husband and I haven’t had pedicures since November… LOL so we’re a bit overdue. I also wanted to get one before my girls trip coming up!
I’m also gonna pick up some groceries today and do my best to have a more nutritious week than I have been having lately, because I know my body deserves to be healthy and full of vitamins and nutrients. This part is always harder for me, but I am going to focus on small wins and keep reminding myself why I am doing this.
New moons are time for new intentions, and since we are no longer in eclipse season, the energy is much calmer. Plant those seeds that you wish to grow, and take time to nourish them. No rushing, no pushing- just trusting in the divine timing of it all. I am focusing on my physical and mental health, as well as how I can be more grounded- both in nature and in my own positive energy.
Today was a good day! I had a good day at work, I got to see my therapist, and I watched a couple of episodes of Severance with my husband! I am excited for our weekend as we have a 30th birthday party to go to, we have pedicures booked, and we are getting eye exams/new glasses!
I’m also excited for the new moon on Sunday, which is the same day my husband and I are getting our pedicures. It’ll be a nice day to just relax and have some self care. I’m excited for my girls trip coming up soon, and I am just feeling a greater sense of self lately. I’m so grateful for this life and this beautiful Friday.
I didn’t record my podcast episode, and I am giving myself grace about it. I will record soon, and I know this is just my brain getting into survival mode and putting me in a freeze state. I am feeling my way through it and I see exactly where all this fear is stemming from.
As a child my father would often tell me that I had no voice. He’d remind me that I had zero power or control in the home, because I was just the child. Also, being a child of alcoholics, I kept that part of my life a secret from everyone outside of the house (except for a couple close friends as I got older). I was always keeping quiet as a way to be safe, so my brain automatically shut down when I went to start recording my podcast episode.
I am working through this feeling, reminding myself that I am allowed to have a voice. All I have to do is speak the truth and remember my intentions. People will judge regardless, and that is not my business or my problem. I know my intentions and I know who I am- that is all that matters. I am not putting a harsh timeline on this, but I am determined to start recording this year!
Today I wrote out the draft for episode one of my podcast. The goal is to record it sometime this weekend. They always say that you just have to start- so I am starting now.
I saw my favorite Instagram page posted a couple prompts today in regards to communication, so I thought, why not answer those here on my blog? The reason for the post/prompts is because Mercury, the planet of communication, is transitioning into the sign of Aries. According to astrologers, this is a time for fierce and honest words from the heart to be unleashed unapologetically.
Here are the prompts from SistersVillage:
1. I have not started my podcast (or written my book for that matter) out of fear of hurting others…mainly family members. I know that harsh truths can be hard to hear, and the whole point of my podcast would be to tell my story as authentically and honestly as possible. It’s hard to bring up where my parents have had their faults, as I am not trying to shame them or make the whole rest of our family aware of their issues; but at the same time, I have overcome a lot in my life and I know that my journey could inspire others to keep going during hard times. There were many times in my younger years where I was lost and angry, and I often felt that I did not have role models, but instead I had people showing me the life I did not want to live. Luckily, I do not live that life anymore, but it took a lot of work and reflection to stop myself from becoming consumed in my trauma.
Okay, I have to pause for a second before I answer this next prompt because I just saw 5:55 on the clock and I am crying at the timing. 555 is the angel number for CHANGE! Talk about a synchronicity! I just feel so connected to my angels and the universe in this moment, so the pause is necessary. Call me delusional, but I’d rather get excited over numbers than sit here having anxious intrusive thoughts any day. Anyways, onto the next prompt!
2. Prompt two goes with number one: my podcast. I am holding myself back from my dreams, and have been for years now. The calling never goes away either, I basically think about it every day. I distract myself with scrolling and watching TV. I keep saying it isn’t the time or I don’t know how to start, but none of that is actually true. I am the only person in my way, and it’s about time that I stop holding myself back.
Ten years from now I’ll be 39. I see myself and my husband with two children, living in a new, single family home with a yard. The kids are in school, youngest just in preschool or kindergarten, so I’m returning to a more full time work schedule. Whether that is still in dental or at one of my children’s schools to get help with tuition assistance (if we decide to go private), I know I’ll be happy either way.
I see us being creative at home, having the kids help with tasks like cooking simply because they think it’s fun to be helpful. I see finger-painting days, as well as days where we make messes with shaving cream with food coloring. I see movie nights with an assortment of different popcorns and snacks. I see more time at the parks and the pools when it’s nice out, and lots of sledding and snowman building in the winter.
Life looks busy, yet also slow. I see less technology usage for myself, except when it comes to work or helping the kids with school. Oh, and of course we will have our Mario Kart nights so we need our technology for that! I’m still blogging, and I am finally good at being intentional with my mornings, as I’ve learned that getting alone time is still a huge priority.
My husband and I still get our solo breakfast dates at least once a month, but usually twice since both sets of grandparents love spending Saturday mornings with the kids. Our anniversary is celebrated in the house as our “family birthday,” and our kids grow up seeing what real, healthy love looks like. Ten years from now looks pretty good to me.
I am feeling so refreshed and recharged, and I am finally at the end of my recovery! I still have minor pain where my tonsils were, and still dealing with the post-nasal phlegm from the nasal turbinate reduction, but it is sooooo much better than I was a few days ago. I’m sure me singing at the top of my lungs and talking all day is contributing to the pain, but I have been resting my voice and body for over a week and I needed to release-and what better time than the full moon?
I am feeling so grateful to have gotten through this recovery, because that sh*t was no joke. The doctor warned me that I would be in a lot of pain for a while, but I was really thinking I had a high pain tolerance and that I would be a champ… LOL no. If you can get your tonsils out as a child, do that, because it is rough as hell as an adult. To be fair though, a week out of my entire life is just a tiny blip, and it is so worth it in the long run. I am just glad this is behind me, and now I can live normally again! Well, I am still avoiding crunchy/hard foods right now so I don’t irritate the area while it is still healing, but it nice to be able to eat some solid foods now.
Today my husband and I were invited to our friends place for a poker day/night, and I decided to stay home since I knew I couldn’t have any of their snacks LOL. Also, I did not want to play, nor did I want to sit and watch everyone else play. My friend and I got on Facetime for a couple hours which was nice, especially since I really haven’t been talking to anyone since my surgery last Thursday! Her and I are going to visit our friend in North Dakota for her 30th birthday next month, so we are getting excited for that!
Overall, I am feeling happy. I’m happy to be out of pain. I’m happy to have great friends and an even better husband (sorry not sorry friends, he is always gonna be my #1). I am happy that I have a job that I actually enjoy to return to on Monday. I am happy that we have good health insurance. I am happy that I can sing along to my favorite songs again. I am happy that I can go on a breakfast date with my love tomorrow. I am just happy, and I am so grateful to be able to feel into my happiness.
Today marks six months of marriage with my husband. It’s crazy that we have been together for 13.5 years, and yet my love for him continues to grow. I feel so very blessed to have him in my life, and I am grateful that he will be by my side for my recovery after my surgery tomorrow. I’m just trusting in the universe that all will be well.
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
Ooof, well this will smack me into reality because I always say I want a good morning routine, yet lately I’ve been letting the snooze button win. I have been feeling more anxious lately as my surgery day approaches, so right now I typically wake up with a stomach ache and my heart racing. I typically wake up before my alarm feeling like this, so I’ll use the bathroom and then spend time laying in bed trying to mindfully breathe.
Sometimes I fall back asleep, most of the time it feels like I don’t. Once my alarm goes off I usually snooze is so I can try to mindfully breathe myself out of anxiety, and I will get up and feed the cats. I then typically get dressed, brush my teeth & put on some deodorant (I usually shower in the evening) and kiss my sleeping husband before I head out to work!
finding light in the dark 