I had quite an overwhelming day at work, and when I got home it was a bit chaotic with bringing in the groceries while urgently having to use the bathroom. I am also a week out from my period so I’m starting my PMS moodiness and I’m just super stressed and exhausted. To be honest, it really felt like everything was too much.

My husband knows I’ve been stressed at work and he also saw how overstimulated I was. I was starting to unpack the groceries and he stopped me. He asked for a hug and held me, but honestly I was kind of being a jerk and wasn’t fully participating in this hug the way I normally would- I was sulking and just limp while he held me.

He told me to take off my shoes and go get out of my work clothes, but before he let me go change, he asked if I could give him a real hug, which I did this time. He thanked me and again instructed that I go get in some comfortable clothing and sit down for a bit. He also mentioned that our cat decided to take a “soupy poop” on our bed and that he was going to clean that up after he put away the groceries.

Although he told me that our cat decided to basically diarrhea on our bed, my brain was so frazzled and probably in freeze that it didn’t fully process. So of course I went into our bedroom and plopped down on the bed and ended up putting my arm right in nasty ass cat shit.

Yup. First every motherf*cking company in America changed which dental insurance they are offering to their employees keeping me busy as hell, but now this?! CAT SHIT ON MY ARM?! What a day, right? As expected, I fully crashed tf out: I screamed out loud to myself that I was a “FUCKING IDIOT” and ran to the bathroom to burn my arm off with scolding hot water and antibacterial soap.

My husband of course hears all of this commotion and asked what happened from the other room, to which I yelled: “I JUST LAID IN THE CAT SHIT” like the a demure girly I am. He came in the room as I was drying my arm off and asked me if I could please sit down while gently reminding me that I’m doing that thing where if I don’t stop, things are going to keep going wrong and getting worse. Arguably, he was correct: I really just needed to sit down…preferably not in feces.

He sat on our little, old bedroom couch with me and told me not to worry about cleaning the bed or putting away the groceries and to just stay put and re-center. He went to finish putting all of the food away, and I actually I did what he said. I sat. I got angry. I punched the air. I shook my body to try to get the anger out. I cried. I cried harder. I stopped to re-focus on my breath. Felt like I might puke. Didn’t puke. Cried more. Started softening my breathing again. Let my head lean into the big pillow I was holding onto. Let more tears fall. They stopped falling. I relaxed.

After actually sitting through probably five minutes of just letting my emotions rise and fall, I felt so much relief. My body felt less tense and much lighter, although still pretty exhausted as expected. My husband came back in to check on me and we just talked calmly about work and what I can/can’t control and when we were interrupted by the alarm to give our diabetic cat her insulin, he told me to go jump in the shower and he’d take care of her.

Now, I just need to take a moment to say; BLESS THIS MAN AND HIS ENTIRE SOUL. Don’t get me wrong, I literally always feel that way about him (that’s why tf I married him, duh), but in this moment after this wild ass day, I couldn’t help but feel so grateful for him and our marriage.

When I was a kid and I’d have reactions or loud emotions, I was called dramatic and shamed for them; my husband has never done that to me. Unfortunately, I actually still do that to myself sometimes, which is another reason why this moment felt so important: I actually let myself have all of my emotions with no judgement.

My husband has always loved me and been there for me through the best and worst times of my life over the last 14 years. I have never felt his love waiver, I have always felt respected, and I am truly so lucky and grateful to have such a wonderful human as my life partner. It’s so easy for me to love him, but it hadn’t always been easy to love myself. Over the years, his love for me has shown me that I am easy to love, and deserving of it, just for being me, and for that I am forever thankful.