The sun is shining through the sliding glass door across the room as I type this at my standing desk. It is Christmas eve, and although most may be wishing for a white Christmas, I am grateful that we are not getting any snow this year. This is definitely a selfish wish simply because my husband and I are taking a little mini-Christmas vacation tomorrow and we have to drive a couple hours away, so I prefer to have some clean roads for the trip!

I know sometimes weird feelings come up for me during the holidays, and this year has been a little of the same, but also a little different. Sometimes I find myself playing the comparison game: you know, wishing I had the huge family that got together with fun Christmas outfits and had kids running around screaming with joy. This year, I still do not have these things, but what is different is that I am just feeling at peace; I am feeling that I can fully lean into faith and know that I can trust in divine timing in my life, as it has all worked out better than I could have planned.

This holiday season, I have very close friends of mine who are pregnant, and another close friend who just welcomed her new baby to the family less than a month ago. I am absolutely overjoyed for all of them, especially because my pregnant friends have wanted to be pregnant for a long time! It also just gives me hope for my own future family planning, as sometimes I let fears creep in regarding that topic. I can’t lie, I have had moments where part of me is like “OMG I need to get pregnant now and start our family now!” but I quickly recognize that I am lost in comparison, and instead I just focus on leaning into the joy of how amazing this is for all of my friends!

We’re in the last month of the year, and I am feeling some weird closure around 2025 that feels weirdly final. I feel like I have learned a lot from repeated lessons this year, and one of the most often repeated lesson is that I should always just lean into faith over fear. I know that my thoughts and emotions can be a bit more extreme, so when I get stressed/anxious, I often catastrophize and get myself all worked up and it is always for no reason. In the end, things will work out how they are supposed to, and no matter what, I can always handle it. Life is chaotic and tragic and full of so many feelings, but it is also immensely beautiful and magical all at the same time.

As I go into 2026, I want to be my own best friend. I want to hype myself up the way that I hype my friends up and cheer them on. When my negative self-talk comes in and tries to make me feel stupid and ruminate in the failures, I know that it is just remnants of the traumatized me, and I just have to give myself love and grace. I do not hold anyone else to the insane, perfectionistic standards that I have created for myself, nor do I deserve to have that pressure on myself either. Being a perfectionist just breeds stress and tension, and I am letting go of this as I keep leaning into faith and divine timing.

2026 is a “1” year in numerology, which is looked at as a fresh reset- a true new beginning. I am all about signs from the universe and leaning into angel numbers, and I am leaning into that energy of new beginning and using it to boost my motivation! I am working on a creative project and I want to lean into that more in the new year, especially because I always feel so happy after I’ve made progress on it! It is also is a fun way for me to let go of perfectionism, and just focus on authenticity and joy.

It has been a while since I have made a longer post on here, and today felt like a great day to take some time to just reflect. It has been an interesting year, and I am excited that my husband and I are going to have a fun Christmas together and this will hopefully be the start of a new annual tradition! Sending love to everyone who needs a little extra this season, and I hope your holiday season brings you love and peace.