divine

Christmas Eve 2025- Reflection

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The sun is shining through the sliding glass door across the room as I type this at my standing desk. It is Christmas eve, and although most may be wishing for a white Christmas, I am grateful that we are not getting any snow this year. This is definitely a selfish wish simply because my husband and I are taking a little mini-Christmas vacation tomorrow and we have to drive a couple hours away, so I prefer to have some clean roads for the trip!

I know sometimes weird feelings come up for me during the holidays, and this year has been a little of the same, but also a little different. Sometimes I find myself playing the comparison game: you know, wishing I had the huge family that got together with fun Christmas outfits and had kids running around screaming with joy. This year, I still do not have these things, but what is different is that I am just feeling at peace; I am feeling that I can fully lean into faith and know that I can trust in divine timing in my life, as it has all worked out better than I could have planned.

This holiday season, I have very close friends of mine who are pregnant, and another close friend who just welcomed her new baby to the family less than a month ago. I am absolutely overjoyed for all of them, especially because my pregnant friends have wanted to be pregnant for a long time! It also just gives me hope for my own future family planning, as sometimes I let fears creep in regarding that topic. I can’t lie, I have had moments where part of me is like “OMG I need to get pregnant now and start our family now!” but I quickly recognize that I am lost in comparison, and instead I just focus on leaning into the joy of how amazing this is for all of my friends!

We’re in the last month of the year, and I am feeling some weird closure around 2025 that feels weirdly final. I feel like I have learned a lot from repeated lessons this year, and one of the most often repeated lesson is that I should always just lean into faith over fear. I know that my thoughts and emotions can be a bit more extreme, so when I get stressed/anxious, I often catastrophize and get myself all worked up and it is always for no reason. In the end, things will work out how they are supposed to, and no matter what, I can always handle it. Life is chaotic and tragic and full of so many feelings, but it is also immensely beautiful and magical all at the same time.

As I go into 2026, I want to be my own best friend. I want to hype myself up the way that I hype my friends up and cheer them on. When my negative self-talk comes in and tries to make me feel stupid and ruminate in the failures, I know that it is just remnants of the traumatized me, and I just have to give myself love and grace. I do not hold anyone else to the insane, perfectionistic standards that I have created for myself, nor do I deserve to have that pressure on myself either. Being a perfectionist just breeds stress and tension, and I am letting go of this as I keep leaning into faith and divine timing.

2026 is a “1” year in numerology, which is looked at as a fresh reset- a true new beginning. I am all about signs from the universe and leaning into angel numbers, and I am leaning into that energy of new beginning and using it to boost my motivation! I am working on a creative project and I want to lean into that more in the new year, especially because I always feel so happy after I’ve made progress on it! It is also is a fun way for me to let go of perfectionism, and just focus on authenticity and joy.

It has been a while since I have made a longer post on here, and today felt like a great day to take some time to just reflect. It has been an interesting year, and I am excited that my husband and I are going to have a fun Christmas together and this will hopefully be the start of a new annual tradition! Sending love to everyone who needs a little extra this season, and I hope your holiday season brings you love and peace.

Sunday Thoughts and Gratitude

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I feel grateful for the beautiful day I have spent with my husband. We’re about to go on a walk together which always makes me happy! Well, we’re actually going to play frisbee golf, which is also a fun time! I just want to get outside in the sun.

This morning we were up pretty early- we have to give our cat her insulin at the same time every day, and the doses are 12 hours apart. Since I was up so early to give her the insulin, I ended up staying up and watching the rest of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (lol don’t judge me) and my husband woke up about an hour and a half later.

We decided to go for a drive to go get some coffee, and then we went shopping for a little bit before heading back home. We did some cleaning around the house today which feels really good, and I purged my closet which was also needed!

This long weekend was much needed, and I’m just feeling so present and so grateful for so many things. I’m happy the weather is getting warmer and the sun is out. I’m happy that we learned how to give our cat her insulin and she will be feeling a lot better soon; I’m also grateful that she can still live for many years with diabetes, and remission is also a possibility!

I’m grateful that my husband and I get to enjoy this long weekend together, and that we can afford this life that we live. We’re so blessed to have our jobs and our skill sets, and I’m so proud of how far we’ve come, both individually and as a couple, over the past 13.5 years. I am so thankful for this life, and thankful to be present here in my body to feel all of the love.

New Year 2025

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New year, same me- just more authentic.

No more masks or people-pleasing.

No more dimming my light.

No more being quiet or shameful.

Honesty and consistency all 2025.

Compassion and empathy all 2025.

Purpose and passion all 2025.

2025 is a 9 year, signaling completion.

It’s 1:11 as I write this

All is as it should be.

Welcome, 2025.

Together

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Today some are crying tears of joy

While others tears are ones of sorrow

Anger and hatred proudly shared

Is this the future we want for tomorrow?

When emotions are high

When we are in a triggered state

When we don’t feel at peace inside

We will struggle to have any rational debate

It makes it hard to see the other side

It makes it hard to lean into empathy

But this is why we need to take a step back

So we can focus on light, love and unity

We all will endure these next years together

All with different pasts and upbringings

When we recognize similarities in each other

We can truly discuss the important things

We can see how much we have in common

We can ask each other questions to understand

We can see where our fears and goals line up

And we can lend each other a hand

We can accomplish a lot more together

Than we can when we are divided

We the people have the freedom of speech

With strength in numbers we can stand united

We can stand for our rights and our freedoms

We can stand for access to great education

We can stand for a healthier future

We can stand for what we want in this nation

Together we can harness the power of unity

Together we can make sure the future is bright

Together we can lean into faith over fear

Together we can show the darkness our light

Feeling Grateful

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I’m feeling so much lighter today, and just overall grateful for life and the divine guidance and love that surrounds me and my loved ones. I’m getting married in nine days, and I cannot help but smile when I think of meeting my fiancé at the altar. Life truly is a gift, and I am so thankful.

9-17-24 Full Moon Lunar Eclipse

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The energy of today is to take out the trash! Release anything no longer serving you. Look at your routines, your relationships, your inner dialogue- what needs to be released so that you can feel lighter and more free?

The astrology accounts I see talk about big changes and breakthroughs coming with eclipses, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling the chaotic energy. It’s heavy, but energizing- it feels like it fuels whatever the focus is on.

The other thing about eclipses is to release expectations, but also expect the unexpected. Remember all is happening for you, and the universe has a plan that you may not understand in this moment, but this is all important for your transformation.

I’m releasing the need to control. I’m releasing negative thoughts and resentment. I am releasing the negative beliefs that linger in the depths of my mind. I am releasing the tension that resides in my shoulders and jaw, as well as the tension in the rest of my body. I am releasing the need to have any external approval or validation. I am releasing any negative judgements towards myself and others. I am releasing all that does not serve my highest self.

Sending love to all and here’s to everyone having a positively transformative eclipse season!

9/9 – Completion

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Today is 9/9 and we all know how much I love repeating numbers! I have only scratched the surface of numerology and astrology, but I do follow some accounts on Instagram and they are talking about how this 9 signifies completion of a cycle/journey.

Today is a great day to take time to reflect on your journey so far, celebrating what has brought you to this current moment. It’s also a great time to release anything that is no longer serving your highest self. This gives us a nice transition into our next cycle, where we can realign our focus to what is important for us now, in this new chapter.

Today I am so proud of where I am. My relationship with my fiancé, my friendships, my workplace- all is feeling abundant and well. My mental health has improved greatly over the recent years, and I am so grateful that I’ve stayed dedicated to improving my mental health and learning to love myself.

I am releasing the tension and fears that keep me stagnant and obsessive, as I know I can lean into my intuition and I can trust myself to handle anything that comes my way. I am releasing the fearful “future-thinking” that keeps me away from the present moment where I am safe and supported. I am releasing the trust issues I have with myself, and I am leaning into the trust I have with the divine.

I am so grateful for this life. I am grateful for this love. I am grateful for the support all around me, both in the physical world and beyond. I’ve dreamt of these days, and I am grateful to be present to enjoy them. 🤍

Magic

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It’s crazy how connected people become the longer you spend time together. Last night, my fiancé and I were sharing a long embrace when tears started forming in my eyes. I felt so safe and happy, and I couldn’t help but think of our wedding day being a few months away and how amazing it will be to marry my best friend.

As he started to pull away from the hug I held on a little longer and told him that I got emotional. He’s like “what are you thinking? talk to me.” And I am smiling so big as the years literally just fall out of my eyes and I said “I’m just thinking about our wedding and I’m just so happy.” He looked at me and asked: “is it weird that I was thinking the same thing? I was imagining how our wedding kiss is going to end up turning into a long embrace like this and how you’ll be crying and I’ll just be holding you.”

We were both envisioning the same thing, the same moment. I’ve been feeling divinely supported throughout this wedding planning process, and this was just another confirmation of our love and how this is our time. I am so thankful to have him in my life, and to have support from all around us. 🥰

777 – Lucky

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I’ve been seeing 777 so often lately. I even took a snapchat video for myself a couple weeks ago when I saw CJ 777 on a license plate after seeing a car with CJ on license plate and an “easy money” sticker on back of the car. CJ are mine and my fiancés first initials, so I always see that as a sign for us.

Today I decided to take old scratch offs that had a total of $7 of winnings to the gas station & see use it to play back into it. One of the tickets was so old it actually expired, so I only had $2 to play with. I ended up getting two $1 games called 7-11-21 (the number of this card was 34 and immediately in my head I’m like 3+4 = 7), so I end up playing. One didn’t win anything, but the other one won $15!!

I was so excited and so I’m like “I’m gonna play this back in and get 3 of the $5 Lucky Seven scratch offs. At this point my fiancé sarcastically says: “you have a gambling problem.” Mind you, we literally never get scratch offs or play the lottery or go to casinos. So I reply with “no I don’t, this is free money from my Grandma and I am playing on sevens right now! I keep seeing 777 everywhere!” So I go in and do as planned and we go off to have breakfast and stop at the store.

We come home and we’re scratching off the tickets and none of them won any of the actual game, but there was a bonus where if you matched two symbols in the bonus, you won the prize shown. I go to scratch my last bonus and see two symbols- both are grapes!! I start scratching the bonus and the prize revealed that we won $77!! I was like “$77 on sevens!!!! yaaassssss!!!”

My fiancé literally just looks at me and he’s like “okay, that’s wild.” (he normally thinks i’m delusional when it comes to my signs from the universe). I felt so aligned and connected and overall just happy!! I am gonna go cash that in tomorrow and keep it for my next nail appt LOL!

It’s so crazy because just over a week ago I was feeling like some sort of abundance was on its way, and I am feeling so happy and just in tune. I am grateful to be her and present for these beautiful moments. I am feeling so divinely protected and guided, and for that I am so thankful.