Indecisive

I have been going back and forth trying to make a decision about what to do with my job situation. I currently have a job that I like, but I have not been getting my full 40 hours for several weeks now, and it is starting to become stressful. I recently had my manager from my last job reach out and asked if I wanted to work in the billing department for her, and offered $1 more an hour, steady 40 hours a week, no weekends, and give me my vacation time back immediately as if I never left- the issue is the insurance is more expensive as they are a smaller company. So although I would “make more money,” it would be going to my insurance. The one good thing is it is a little closer to home than my current job. I am trying to see if I can get on my boyfriend’s insurance without being married, as we do have a joint account and are both on our current mortgage. If I can do that, that may sway me into going to that job.

On the other hand, I work for a company that wants to keep their employees, and I told them about my offer and how much I would want to get paid to stay and transition into being in their billing team; I had to keep in mind that it is quite a bit further of a drive to work. However, they can let me work from home two days a week once I am fully trained, and I would also have steady hours and not work weekends. I know a lot of people don’t care about the drive, but I just keep thinking about having an hour commute to work and then back, but also how it’ll be even longer in the winter.

In the midst of all of this stress, I came up with a craft drop schedule for my small shop! I will post it with this blog, that way if anyone wants to follow along on my Instagram or Facebook page! I am really excited to take this leap and give myself deadlines; it is important to set goals if you want to reach them! I can think about stuff I want to do as much as I want, but until I put in the work, all those thoughts will ever be are just thoughts. I keep reminding myself that you cannot rely on motivation as it is temporary, you have to rely on yourself, which requires discipline. I set up a crafting schedule so that I am constantly working on projects and being creative; I work well with routine and schedules, so as long as I put it on the schedule it will get done. Also, posting publicly about it also gives that added incentive to get it done and do a good job, as I can just hope someone is waiting to see what I’ve made!

I am open to any thoughts/advice anyone has, and appreciate any who are here reading this! I hope you all have a great week.

Decisions.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been kind of stressed. I’m proud of myself for not letting it consume me, but I am over this week and last week too. Work is annoying me, our AC went out last Thursday and we still don’t have a quote yet, and also the state of the world is annoying me as well.

I work in healthcare and I have a fear that my company may mandate all of us to get the vaccine. Being young, healthy, and someone who wants to have children in the next few years, I personally want to wait. I do not feel comfortable getting this experimental vaccine at this time. This doesn’t mean I never will (although I’ve never had a flu shot in my life), but I’m definitely going to wait as long as I can.

There have been reports of women having strange menstrual cycles after receiving the vaccine, and that happened to one of my close friends. One of my coworkers also said her cycle has been really weird lately and she is the only one who is vaccinated in the office. I know that it may be a rare side effect, but also, we don’t actually have a clue how common it is. We are still learning about the vaccine and even learning about covid itself; I have the right to choose to wait.

If I’m sick, I’ll get tested and stay home. If I’m not sick, I’m going out and living my life. I understand that the virus can be deadly, but according to CDC statistics, the likelihood of me dying are less than 1%. The vaccine is still not FDA approved, and there are many doctors across the US who have had success in treating covid with ivermectin and/or hydrochloroquine (which I’d feel much more comfortable taking since they have decades of research in humans). I’m simply weighing my risks and making the choice that I feel is right for me.

I understand why people are getting vaccinated and I don’t blame them! I understand why they are and am all for it, I just don’t like when it’s pushed down my throat and the media encourages people to shame the unvaccinated. Some aren’t vaccinated because of religious reasons, some are immunocompromised, and some just are wanting to wait for more data. I do not know what is best for someone else and their life, so I don’t judge people and their decisions; but I stand by my opinions and my decisions.