I am letting go of my worries and anxieties about the future, and instead I am trusting that I can handle anything that comes my way.
I am letting go of the need for perfectionism, and instead I am embracing mistakes and failures, as I know they only allow me to evolve.
I am letting go of shame and embarrassment, and instead I am leaning into self-love and confidence in myself and my uniqueness.
What colleges have you attended?
I went to one community college and got my associates degree and then stopped as I needed to work full time to pay bills being out on my own. I paid for my degree outright with no loans! So proud of that.
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
When I am dancing and singing around the house, I consider that to be playtime. I love just being goofy and enjoying good music. I also love when I can do some vision boarding/collages as I feel like I’m in elementary school again! This year I started a journal that way I can fill the pages with visions and goals throughout the year!
New year, same me- just more authentic.
No more masks or people-pleasing.
No more dimming my light.
No more being quiet or shameful.
Honesty and consistency all 2025.
Compassion and empathy all 2025.
Purpose and passion all 2025.
2025 is a 9 year, signaling completion.
It’s 1:11 as I write this
All is as it should be.
Welcome, 2025.
What makes you feel nostalgic?
I feel nostalgic whenever I go to a roller rink or when I hear some early 2000s Outkast and Black Eyed Peas. Also we had disposable cameras at our Til Death Do Us Party, and that gave me such a sense of nostalgia.
What are your biggest challenges?
I’d say one of my biggest challenges is getting into healthy routines like working out and cooking. I never grew up eating super healthy or watching anyone prioritize health, wellness or the importance of movement. It’s something I want to do, and I have slowly been working towards.
Part of the reason this is a challenge is due to another issue I struggle with: lack of self trust. I am someone who feels better when I am in control, and I am someone who can be very hard on myself. With those things being said, I have definitely taken a diet a little too seriously in the past, and it was very unhealthy. I was losing weight and seeing results, and people around me were commenting and encouraging me- but in reality I was barely taking in 800 calories a day, and I was extremely strict with myself.
I know that if I want to be healthy, it has to be a lifestyle that I live. It can’t be something that I am tracking and counting; it can’t come from me shaming myself, it has to come from love. I want to love myself and my body enough to feed it the nutrients it truly needs and to workout regularly. I also want to trust myself to be able to make a change without becoming obsessed. Luckily I am still in therapy, and I get to see my therapist on Friday so we can discuss the goals for this new year.
Happy Monday!
I’m back to work today and then off again for a couple days, but I’m just happy to be feeling relatively healthy again! Still have some sinus congestion, but overall just feeling so much better. Also SZA dropped SOS Deluxe LANA album so I’ve been jamming to that nonstop and just enjoying the rest of 2024!
Happy new moon! 🌑
If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
Mascot has got to be the Angels- and colors are white and gold.🤍✨
I woke up and was burning up, and not because of a fever this time. I walk out to the thermostat (that we clearly need to upgrade) and it did it’s fun thing where the batteries on it just stopped, so instead of regulating the heat, it just let it go up to 81 degrees! Can’t wait to see our next gas bill LOL.
I also had to call the vet to schedule one of our cats, because he is doing this dry heaving thing without throwing up which isn’t normal for him. Of course, he’s our problem child who has to be medicated before even going to the vet because he howls and screams like a wild animal and scares all the other animals. They can’t get him in until Monday so I am just going to try to forget about it until then. It’s honestly not fun drugging and dragging him to the vet- it’s actually pretty traumatizing for everyone with how he acts.
My other cat was throwing up this morning, but I knew it was because she got into something based on the puke. Sure enough she chewed through my husband’s bag of SunChips he left on the desk. She is obsessed with plastic and has had her fair share of expensive visits to the vet as well, so we’re just keeping an eye on her. She’s acting normal for now and honestly she likely will continue to based on past behavior- at this point I am sure she has a plastic coated stomach that is used to it.
So yeah, I’ve been awake for a whole 30 minutes and I am feeling very stressed out, but all I can do is wait for the vet (also praying they call with a cancellation for today), buy a new thermostat, and breathe.
finding light in the dark 