tired

Rain

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I feel like all it does it rain, even though just yesterday I was out out a walk enjoying the sun. I’ve tried to stay motivated today by doing my makeup, and I ended up face-timing with a good friend of mine for a while today, but right now I just feel drained.

I’m tired of quarantine and everyday feeling like the same day over and over again. I’m upset with myself for not getting into healthy habits such as working out like I had planned to do. I know I still can do those things but I honestly don’t feel like it right now.

I don’t even really feel like writing today. I know I should channel this into creativity, but today’s not that day. At least not right now. I will however attach a photo of myself from today since I did do my makeup and felt at least energetic enough to do that. Hope everyone has a good rest of their Sunday.

It is what it is.

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I bought a roundtrip flight to Denver for the end of April a few days ago and have zero regrets. I know there are a lot of travel restrictions right now, and I know there are bans on large gatherings in places, but I am not scared to go to Denver- worst case they cancel my flight and I lose out on $75, but I couldn’t care less.

I’m honestly annoyed by the mass hysteria and still confused about the toilet paper shortage and it’s making me so crabby and bitchy and I hate it. I don’t want to let other people have an effect on my attitude, but I literally am so disappointed in humanity right now.

I’m upset that idiots have gone out and decided to buy up all the toilet paper/tissues/clorox wipes/etc. I am also upset that my friends who are mothers are struggling to find baby wipes and formula because those who were fortunate enough to be able to panic buy in bulk didn’t think about the other humans on this planet.

I’m tired of the politics behind the virus as well, and how coincidentally all of these flus/viruses such as swine flu and ebola all come out around election time (which reminds me, don’t forget to vote in the primary’s Tuesday)! I think it’s stupid for anyone in power to shut down all businesses and ban the sale of guns/ammunition. I think that there are too many things being done that actually have nothing to do with the virus, and I feel people are using it as a way to fear monger and also pass unnecessary laws.

I feel for my server friends out there who rely on tips for their bills. I also feel for the employees of grocery stores who have to deal with angry, demanding assholes. Luckily they still have jobs, but their hours are being cut left and right as businesses close early or change hours as they have no time to re-stock. I can only imagine what nurses and doctors and other healthcare staff are going through right now. I feel lucky to still have a job during this time, and am grateful that I have money saved as well.

I want to stop having such a cynical, angry mindset about this whole thing. I need to focus more on what I do have and what I’m thankful for during this interesting time in the world. If we have a mandatory quarantine, at least I’ll be home with my best friend and my cats. ♡

Goodbye 2019

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It is 9:08pm on NYE and my boyfriend and I are at home in our sweats with no plans to leave. Our evening shall consist of drinking wine (me) and whiskey (him) together while watching funny shows and playing checkers.

Well, actually I just looked over at my boyfriend who is laying in bed and his eyes were closed so I yelled out “hey! are you sleeping??” and he just looked up at me with his tired eyes and laughed. So who knows if we’re even going to make it to midnight… to be fair I didn’t last year! LOL

I drew out a schedule for myself that I will start in a few weeks once the Planet Fitness in my town opens up. I already signed up for my membership and got the more expensive one so I can bring a guest for free whenever I want. My 2020 schedule includes a steady workout schedule, as well as a plan to start cooking more and eating at home. I also have schedule in reading and writing, as well as yoga.

Another goal of mine is to sign up for a yoga and/or fitness class at least once a month. Lucky for me, I have a friend who wants to join me in yoga classes, so we can hold each other accountable! I am also going to continue seeing my therapist on a regular basis, and keep working on being the best version of myself.

I feel so lame because I am very tired right now. I think I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine and just chill and watch Netflix while my boyfriend sleeps; I mean I’m basically 24 going on 70. Well, tomorrow is the start of a new year, and a new decade- honestly, thinking of that makes me even more exhausted. I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe NYE, and I also hope 2020 brings nothing but blessings. ♡