You can find meaning and magic in every interaction if you want to.
Grief is a wild, strong emotion- but that only means the love was strong.
Where focus goes, energy flows. Be mindful of the energy you’re calling in.
We’re all ignorant to things and we’re meant to be. No human is meant to know everything.
When you’re feeling intense or extreme in your emotions, it can be hard to try to find the medium- this is when you need to pause and get into your body. Shake. Scream. Dance. Cry. Pause.
Definitely started a post this morning and forgot to go back to it LOL! I am pretty tired now but trying to get back on a daily writing streak so just wanted to make a post quick!
It’s a new moon and I am looking at myself with rosy colored lenses. I no longer wish to compare and criticize my body or my health, instead I choose to celebrate the wins and be grateful for what is. I no longer wish to “fix” and “improve” myself, instead I will just be.
Just being me is enough. Focusing on joy and love is what I prefer over the fears and doubts that chaos can bring. I am leaning into faith over fear, and really just trying to stay focused on gratitude and peace.
I trust in the Universe to keep me protected from all evil, and all things blocking me from my purpose.
I trust my Angels and Guides to keep me on the path to my higher self, loving and supporting me along the way.
I trust in Diving Timing; even when it may not always feel right in the moment, I know there is a bigger and better plan.
There is so much beyond my control, and I no longer wish to hold the weight of the world. I trust that love and light will always prevail. I trust that people are more kind and loving and connected than the media may make it seem. I trust that there is good in this world, and greatness in the divine. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍✨
The way we speak to ourselves really matters.
You’re not supposed to be liked by everyone, and if you’re being authentic, you won’t be liked by everyone.
Adults can handle their own discomfort and disappointment, it’s not your job to make everyone else happy.
Shaming and blaming yourself will never bring the results you want.
Life will always have chaos, we’re meant to prioritize joy.
Fear sells. Fear controls. In a world of fear- have faith.
It’s been a while since I’ve sat and written anything long form on here, and I can’t say I necessarily want to do that right now either, but I have been feeling some shifts this weekend that I feel like articulating and expanding upon for a second.
I am someone who hates disappointing people, but I’m also someone who really has been trying to empower the whole “don’t do want you don’t want to do” mindset. As someone who has been a people-pleaser her whole life, I was basically not living in any sort of authenticity because I always did whatever people wanted even when I didn’t necessarily want to do that.
This weekend we were invited to my husband’s cousin’s graduation ceremony. Now, we are obviously very excited and happy for his cousin for following his dreams and meeting his goals, but this ceremony was 3.5 hours away and we were not trying to pay for a hotel out there, so it was going to be an in and out trip. My husband ultimately decided to not go and that we would take his cousin and his wife out another time, which I felt so relieved about. I was not looking forward to a 7 hour commute and a ceremony.
My default is to feel guilt and shame about this, even though I really have not gone against any of my morals. For me, I would not expect my cousins to drive 3.5 hours for my college graduation… in fact, they didn’t even drive the 2 hours and I have never taken that personally! I do understand my relationship with family can be different than his, and ultimately this was his decision to skip the graduation so I really should be detached from it, yet yesterday I couldn’t help but feel guilty and like we’re the a**holes of the family. In reality though, we haven’t done anything wrong. I can understand 100% if they’re upset, but also I’m sure they can understand where we’re coming from too and it’s not something that will rip the family apart.
We also were asked to help our friends move on that same day and we didn’t go help them even though we didn’t end up going to the graduation. My husband had a project he was working on and I honestly just took a day for myself. I’ve been finally leveling out after a couple weeks of being very stressed and having bad mental health, so I just needed a day for rest and joy. Yesterday we did go to help them finish moving some boxes, but part of me still felt rude for not going to help on Saturday, even though I know I would have been exhausted and overall just not pleasant to be around.
My husband felt no guilt whatsoever for not going to the graduation or helping friends move, and it’s just crazy how differently our brains work. I also am like, maybe I should just embrace the fact that I also didn’t want to go do any of these things, and if that makes me an “a**hole,” then so be it! I think I have such issues with being “rude” or doing anything to upset people, because I really didn’t like how mean my dad was when I grew up.
In reality though, he was typically drunk and would be name-calling/making fun of big emotions. He’d pick on my weight or my intelligence, and that’s not anything I could see myself doing, nor is that what I have done this weekend. It definitely felt that his rudeness was more intentional, and me skipping out on a graduation is not actually comparable to the ways my dad was an a**hole.
I guess this is why I write, and why I need to get back to it. When I actually take time to think through and articulate my thoughts, I realize how illogical I’m being when it comes to how I punish myself or make myself feel guilty all the time. My inner critic gets very loud the instant that I feel I’ve done wrong, and I have to remember that she also is not very logical- she’s part of survival mode. My brain still thinks that being “perfect” and never upsetting anyone is how to stay safe, but that is not feasible, nor is it true. Authenticity is the answer. Love is the answer. I just have to embody those two things, and all will align as it should.
Today my husband and I celebrate one year of marriage, and 14 years of being together! So here is a dump of wedding photos from the best day ever!
Dear Universe,
May October feel cozy and sweet, like the cinnamon and pumpkin seasonings in our drinks.
May October feel like a breath of fresh air, bringing peace and quiet to chaotic minds and bodies.
May October feel like letting go, releasing all of the weights and worries that were never ours to hold.
May October bring clarity and comfort to all who are needing a little extra lately.
I pray October is bringing love, blessings and peace to the entire collective. I pray we are present enough to see and receive all of life’s beautiful offers and opportunities. I pray that this month we’re all able to trust and lean into faith, rather than succumbing to fear and doubt. May October be blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I messed up my streak! Oh well, guess today is day one again! I had a fun weekend, so it was definitely worth missing a blogging day. Yesterday I took my mom to the Bears Vs. Cowboys game!! She loves the Cowboys, so that was kind of a bummer that the Bears suddenly figured out how to play football yesterday, but either way the experience was awesome!
On Saturday my husband and I went to a local Oktoberfest and met up with my friend for her birthday! It was so fun being a little kid again riding all the rides and just enjoying the atmosphere! I feel very blessed to be living this life, and the fact that I can be present to the love around me is also a blessing in and of itself. Being someone who has been chronically anxious, it’s nice to be able to feel joy in the present moment.
finding light in the dark 