Thursday AM

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It’s 0 degrees outside. On the plus side, the sun is rising and I got to see some pink clouds/sky on the way into work today. I also have a nice coffee for today that I will savor since tomorrow I’m going to participate in the nationwide “ice out” and not buy a thing! I’m also going to take the entire day off social media too, because I just need a damn reset and it feels like it should be part of the revolution to me lol!

Tuesday Thoughts

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I’m overstimulated by social media right now, but can’t seem to turn away. I know my brain needs some rest though, I am going to put my phone down after this post.

I saw that Friday January 30th there is a nationwide “ice out,” where we don’t buy anything at all, and don’t go to work or school. I will go to work since I work in healthcare, but I’ll gladly skip the Dunkin’ line in the AM. I’ll grab groceries on Saturday and I just filled up my gas tank! I think it’s smart to show these huge corrupt corporations and our government how much control we do have.

I also think it would be a good idea to boycott social media that day too- I will be at least. I think it will be great to have a reset, and I imagine as a collective it could be powerful. I’m not religious, but I am spiritual, and the idea of people all sitting in collective mediation / stillness / prayer sounds incredibly powerful.

Regardless of if it’s in a collective group or not, I will continue to keep the faith and pray that love and truth will always prevail. Although I am not religious, I do find the serenity prayer to be quite comforting. I’ll hold onto that at this time, and I am sending love to all those who need a little extra.

Monday AM: Grateful

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I’m grateful I woke up in a warm bed next to the love of my life this morning.

I’m grateful that I can afford to treat myself to a coffee this morning.

I’m grateful I have a job to go to that, although it can be stressful at times, it funds my life and allows me to pay my bills.

I’m grateful for hot coffee on a freezing cold day.

I’m grateful for my “chill” playlist, as it will keep me grounded in my work today.

I’m grateful for empathetic, passionate people.

Sunday: Soft Girl Revolution

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Some humans are caring, compassionate and kind, while (unfortunately) others lack empathy and fail to have any moral compass. The human mind is the most complex organ to exist; it has the capacity to have one believing that they themselves are “God,” while others feel so low, feeling like they are the scum of the Earth. The thing about the brain that is so wild is that whatever you believe, your brain will do everything in it’s power to confirm that belief. This miraculous organ will find evidence in your every day life to confirm whatever it is that you are focusing your energy on.

Being in America right now, there is a lot of unrest. With masked ICE agents detaining and murdering innocent people, it is extremely hard to trust any sort of government or media, but what we can trust is our intuition: none of this is right. Humans do not deserve to be ripped away from their families. Humans do not deserve to be murdered for standing up for what they believe in. Humans do not deserve to have their food, environments or algorithms poisoned with sickening, artificial sh*t. The heaviness of it all is too much for one person to hold; if we can come together with love and compassion, I believe we can see change- but it is also important that we are taking care of ourselves.

With everything going around on social media, please remember that you can be informed without having to watch the videos of people getting murdered. Yes, there are people who were there to witness it, and we are privileged to have not been there to see it, but constantly consuming this content is not helpful to our brain health. We need our brains functioning well to fight this fight, and the media knows how easy it is to keep people in an angry, fear loop. Our anger can be our friend, as it shows us where boundaries are crossed, but it also is important that we take action and make decisions with clear minds, as this is our future we are fighting for. During these times, it is important to take breaks from social media and spend quality time within your own family and community. Spreading love will do much more than the constant consuming of horrific content.

On a more “woo woo” note, astrologers have been saying that right now is the age of revolution; the last time that Pluto was in the sign of Aquarius was during the American Revolution and the French Revolution. Since Pluto has sat her happy ass back in the sign of Aquarius, it just may be time for some much needed existential shifts. I personally envision a world where people do care for people, the government minds it’s own business other than working for the people, and we have more transparency and control over where our money is going. We pay our taxes because it is illegal if we don’t, yet major government entities haven’t passed their budget audits in years, we have millions of dollars for war, our groceries are full of poison, and we are funding masked murderers in our streets? Does anyone really want this?

When we break it down, this is not about Republican vs. Democrat or Red. vs. Blue or whatever divide it is that the media is trying to sell you: this is about humanity vs. corruption. None of us want to be funding our own deaths. None of us want to be working two jobs in order to barely have enough money to put our artificial groceries on the table. None of us want to live in fear that our medication prices will suddenly sky-rocket to a point where we cannot afford to take them. None of us want to avoid medical care because we are fearful of the amount of medical debt we will accrue. None of us want to see families get ripped apart by masked, unidentified “law enforcement.” None of us want to pay more attention to screen than our own families, friends and loved ones. None of us want to live in a constant state of fear and anger, and none of us deserve it.

I am not a teacher, nor a scientist. I am not a congressman, nor a judge. I am not a policeman, nor an FBI agent. I am not a governor, nor am I on any board of anything. I am not an influencer, nor am I a celebrity. I am not someone who is known: I am just like you. I am a human being who is upset and overwhelmed by the state of the world just looking for some way to connect and create authentic conversation. Humans are the most complex, resilient beings, and although I do often feel “too soft for all of it,” I do know that I cannot remain silent/complacent as I am not in agreeance with what is happening. Like the great Martin Luther King Jr, said: “There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.”

So to all my softies who struggle when it comes to going to protests and interacting with social media, just know that you can still make a difference. Even if it just means taking time to write and reflect about what is happening, or it’s starting to research when the local primaries are and who is on the ballots, that is enough. Focusing on your local communities, even your own home, is where revolutions can start. We are in a country built on moving fast, getting money, and hustling our lives away, but that is not in our nature as mammals. I think it is important that we take time to reconnect with ourselves and with nature. We need to take moments of silence to calm our nervous systems. We need to practice mindfulness in moments of overwhelm, as that will become our superpower during these times of unrest. We have to be able to emotionally regulate and think clearly to make the changes that are truly needed, and that starts right in your own home; we can be the change we need to see in this world, one step at a time.

Another Saturday in January

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It is another day of the “arctic tundra” here in the Midwest. Luckily, we should be leaving the negative temperatures today, and I decided to leave my house today to get some coffee! I really wish I had planned ahead for these cold temperatures by booking a flight to the Bahamas or something, but I’ll just have to keep that in mind for next time. I have been in a little bit of a funk with feeling overwhelmed at work and just feeling the darkness of winter; I also just had my period and it was six days late so that didn’t really help. The more I reflect on this, the more I am realizing that I need to let go of control at work. I put this immense pressure on myself to stay on top of all of these things, but being in the insurance world, there is literally so much beyond my control.

At work, and in life in general, all I can control is my own reactions and my attitude. I have been so overwhelmed by all of the changes in patient’s insurance plans and still dealing with the remnants of our horrible transition with the new front desk- literally my period has been late the last couple months, and I knew they would be late because I was so stressed out! My body has been tense and I’ve been exhausted, and I no longer wish to put myself through this. I know I need to work on a good routine on how to decompress and also ideally work towards my wellness goals, but I know the focus just needs to be on self-love rather than shame. Since I have been in a negative headspace, it hasn’t felt like a good time to pursue a wellness routine- when I do these things in a place of self-loathing, it’s never healthy, nor does it end well.

I know I just need to focus on rest and joy. I have been feeling the need to stretch, so I am going to do some more of that today. I know I need to talk to my body nicer and be more mindful about how I speak about it. It’s easy to get into comparison culture, especially in the new year and seeing everyone posting themselves in the gym and eating really healthy, but 1. people always post the highlights, and 2. my journey is mine, it is not meant to be altered or influenced by others. I know that deep down, we all know what is best for us. I know that the more I listen to my gut and actually mindfully work towards my goals, the more confidence I will have, and the easier it will be to let go of things beyond my control.

Thursday AM

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Well, I forgot to post yesterday so my streak is ruined again LOL! This is my starting again! I just remote started my car because it snowed yesterday and it is currently 10°, but feels like -6° outside, and I’m really not looking forward to cleaning off my car. Tomorrow the high for the day is -4° with a real feel of -40° so I’m praying our office closes tomorrow. I am so over winter it’s disgusting at this point.

Sunday PM

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It’s 9:44pm and I’m off to sleep. Hoping to get a solid 8 hours before work tomorrow. Regardless of how much sleep I get, and regardless of the fact that mother nature paid her visit today giving me insane cramps, I am determined to make tomorrow a great day. Getting some sleep will help with that for sure, and laying on this heating pad is giving me such relief. I am so grateful that I had such a wonderful weekend with my husband, and I know this will be a great week ahead.

Saturday Evening

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Today has been a nice chill day with my husband. We went out for breakfast, ran some errands, did a little purging (we’re gonna drop off some bags at the thrift store tomorrow), and now we’re just gonna work on our home dashboard project and probably watch a movie! I love having a chill weekend with no real plans.

mushu in a blanket

Mental Health Day

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I ended up reaching out to my boss and letting her know I cannot come in today. I’ve been so overwhelmed at work lately, and these last seven weeks have been harder than the entire two years I’ve worked there. I’m glad I have understanding bosses, as I really haven’t had that in the past and I could have never asked for just a mental health day; but here I can be honest and just say “I need a day so I don’t burn out,” and they get it! Now I can rest and take this little break for myself and come back on Monday feeling recharged and ready to tackle the world!