healing

Grateful AM

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Grateful for music, especially the kind that gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes.

Grateful for my husband, especially his kisses and his laugh. Not to mention his patience, determination, intelligence and work ethic. There’s a lot I love about this man.

Grateful for coffee, especially some iced coffee w cream from Dunkin’.

Grateful for my car, especially the fact that she keeps me safe and has a cute pink steering wheel cover.

Grateful for my job, especially the fact that I’m not micromanaged.

Random Thoughts

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I feel like we all need to start re-centering and re-grounding ourselves. We all need to learn how to feel our emotions, instead of shoving them away.

I’m actually pretty sad that I get anxious to go on walks by my house. I cried about it the other day- but to be fair, I’m also on my period. I’ve just had a couple bad experiences, like 1. watching a dog get hit by a car and 2. some guy was going to try to kidnap me. oh.. and 3. a creepy coworker of mine showed up to my house unannounced while I was on a walk. Needless to say, I don’t really feel calm on my walks- I’m typically on high alert.

I selfishly hate that my cat has diabetes. It’s so hard for my husband and I to take vacations because she has to have her insulin twice a day, and she’s did horrible when she had an 8 hour stay at the vet, so she can’t really be put in a kitty hotel for long. I don’t want to fly her anywhere and driving her in a car for hours would also stress her out so it’s just all annoying as shit.

I am tired of patients yelling at me when aim trying to help them. You can’t really yell at me about your insurance policy- you signed up for it, not me. I didn’t write in the frequencies or downgrades or make up any of the stupid rules for your plan, and I also agree with you that they are stupid rules. It’s patients and providers against the insurance companies- don’t yell at me when I’m on your side!

I definitely need to drink more water.

I could really use a technology free day by the ocean. Warm sun, a light breeze, sand in my toes, and the sounds of the ocean… I feel like that would heal me.

I’m annoyed that Tell Me Lies is over.

Monday / Moon Day

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This morning I woke up drenched in sweat and mother nature has come to visit with a vengeance apparently. It feels like all the collective rage that has been building up is releasing itself, and although it’s painful and exhausting, it’s necessary.

It’s technically the new moon as well, although it peaks tomorrow with a solar eclipse, so it just all feels like divine timing. With the eclipse starting off the year of the Fire Horse tomorrow, I have hope for a powerful, beautiful transition for the collective. Transitioning power from corrupt, evil systems, back to authentic, empathetic community.

Weekend Vibes

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Yesterday was such a lovely day! My husband and I went out to breakfast, grabbed some more diamond by numbers from Hobby Lobby, and I made some yummy fresh juice and lemon ginger shots for the week!

Today I’m gonna call my friend who is doing some traveling in Peru to hear about all her adventures and see what her next plans are, and other than that, it should be a nice chill day!

The sun has been shining all weekend and we finally got into 40 degree weather, so basically I have been reborn and I’m alive again! LOL! However I definitely am ready to smell some grass and flowers- but we’re getting close!!

I hope everyone has a lovely Sunday!

new diamond by number purchases!

Valentine’s Day

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Although it’s a Hallmark holiday, today is considered a day about love. I pray that this world can see love and light prevail over the darkness. It’s disheartening to see certain things all over the media, but also good that things are coming to light- so long as we do something about it.

Tuesday AM Gratitude

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I’ve been having some anxiety and restlessness, likely all stemming from my feed on social media, so I think it’s important for me to get grounded in gratitude this morning.

I’m grateful for my husband. He is respectful, hard-working, intelligent, and he makes me feel so loved and protected. I love laughing with him, coming home to him, sleeping next to him, and overall just being with him. Even though it’s been 14+ years together, I still feel so excited about us and our love. I’m forever grateful for him and our marriage.

I’m grateful for my job. I am not micro-managed, I have freedom to take time off and even unpaid time off if I don’t have the PTO, and my bosses aren’t toxic like the other ones I have had. They don’t belittle people or make anyone cry, and they actually care about people and their employees.

I am grateful for our home. We have everything we could ever need in our home: heat, electricity, clean water, appliances, groceries, toiletries, garage etc. We are blessed to have an affordable mortgage and HOA, and overall I do love our townhome. We’re by a nice park and not too far from our downtown area, so even the location is very nice!

I’m grateful for my blog. I feel like if it weren’t for my blog, I may not write as much as I do now. I remember wanting to start my blog and being so nervous about it, and now I just post whatever I am feeling and I try to do a little writing every day, even if it’s a blurb on a daily prompt post. I am grateful for writing in general, as it’s a great outlet, and it’s a nice way to be creative.

I’m grateful to be awake and typing this today. I’m grateful that I have my health, and I am able to easily get out of bed and get ready for my day on my own. My legs and arms work, as well as my lungs and heart. I don’t have to think about breathing or pumping my blood- my amazing body just does it for me. The fact that I can walk, talk, eat and breathe all on my own is a blessing that I never want to take for granted. In moments when I have bad body image problems, I remember that my body is functioning as designed to keep me alive, and how I look is the least important thing about me.

Addicted to Fear

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I’m addicted to the things I hate.

The screens, the scrolling, staying up-to-date.

Overstimulated by horrific news and power dynamics.

Sickened by tax dollars funding elite pedophiles over academics.

Chaos and violence all on the “for you” pages.

Faith and love diminishes as fear and doubt rages.

Was this the plan all along? Addicted to screens and misinformation?

Fighting with our loved ones and neglecting the future generation?

We need regulated nervous systems and our minds at ease.

We need less shame and hatred, we need more kindness and peace.

The screens and socials are made to keep us depressed and addicted.

Constantly comparing and yearning for these “wonderful lives” that are depicted.

When we know deep down that none of this is real.

We scroll, we numb out and we forget how to feel.

We lose ourselves a little more each day that we don’t tune in.

We let our authenticity die every time that we log in.

Is this the future we want? Is this the life we want to live?

Do you want to stay stuck in fear with nothing left to give?

Our brains are wired for survival, yet in ways it keeps us trapped.

Constantly looking for negativity and disarray on the apps.

Take your power back- be mindful and intentional with how you spend your time.

Focus on what you can control, and leave the rest up to the divine.

Self Care

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Yesterday after work my husband had to go to his go-karting race, and I decided to skip this one and stayed home to be productive, but also ended up getting on my walking pad and watching an episode of Tell Me Lies, and later on I had time to do some of my diamond by number canvas! Honestly, it’s kind of crazy how prioritizing joy can completely shift you from exhausted to refreshed! I am going to try to keep that in mind more often.