What makes a good leader?
A good leader recognizes and listens to other people, rather than their own ego. A good leader takes accountability and responsibility for their actions, and a good leader can admit when they are wrong. A good leader is not impulsive, nor are they irrational. A good leader is able to see the big picture, rather than getting overwhelmed by the tiny details.
If you could un-invent something, what would it be?
When I read this, I definitely want to say smart phones and social media, because I feel that although they were both made for people to stay more “connected,” it actually has made us more disconnected with ourselves and each other.
Smart phones definitely keep us connected when we can call, text and/or facetime friends and family members. We are able to communicate and share photos and videos with each other, but also sometimes we do this when we are in the presence of other people.
How many times have you been out with a friend or a group and suddenly other people are just texting on their phone, or having a full blown conversation with someone else? Don’t get me wrong, there are situations where people need to be checking in or asking for something, but I’m talking about those times where it isn’t necessary and it actually just has you feeling like no one is present in the moment with you.
Social media was also made to stay in touch and see updates of people’s lives, but it has simultaneously created a lot more of comparison culture and this pressure to always post your best moments and memories for the world to see. People are always sharing the highlights and the best parts of life, and it can make people start to think that everyone has to live some extravagant life and be very rich in order to have happiness.
There are people that go into debt to have fancy events just for the social media pictures, or they put name brand bags on their credit cards just to be able to post and make it seem like they live a lavish life. Not to mention all of the emphasis on having the “perfect body” or “perfect face” which leads to the botox and fillers and surgeries that also cost hundreds to thousands of dollars.
And what is all of this for? To look good for other people? To have a better selfie? To feel as pretty as that one influencer looks in her post? Does she even look like that or did she use a filter or face-tune? Do the likes, views and followers actually fulfill your soul? Or are you craving deeper, authentic connections?
I feel like smart phones and social media have become more important to people than genuine conversation and communication. Some people post pictures with “friends” they don’t even like just because the collab gives more views (ex: Mom Tok/ Secret Lives of Mormon Wives). Some people post their “perfect relationship” when there’s actually abuse going on off screen (Gabby Petito, Shannan Watts). I know luckily that is not how everyone uses it, but it’s crazy how quick we are to believe false things, and social media perpetuates that culture.
I also understand the benefit of social media when it comes to business promotion, as it can help push products and business ideas. I also understand there are authentic people on social media as well, but overall I think we’d benefit as a society if social media was never invented. I think with social media, we’d be more connected to ourselves and one another, and I think in general humanity would be more authentic.
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
Our wedding day was the most blissful, loving day of my entire life. Not only could my husband and I feel each other’s love- we felt the love from all of our close family and friends who joined us. We had an intimate destination wedding with only 23 guests, and it was truly the most perfect day of my life. I get goosebumps and teary-eyed thinking about it now. Everyone was so supportive and happy for us- it was truly a magical day.
I am only in control of my own myself. My mindset is my choice, and today I choose gratitude. I have a job I enjoy, a loving husband, and a roof over my head. I am surrounded by blessings at all moments. ✨
Where can you reduce clutter in your life?
When I hear clutter my first thought is to reorganize any space in the house. I always am down for a closet declutter- getting rid of old clothes that aren’t worn any longer, and any random things we’ve stored away that haven’t been missed.
I could also reduce the negative clutter in my mind. I find myself still complaining and getting bothered by things that are beyond my control. I know we have negative cognitive biases for survival, but I personally would like to have more positive thoughts than negative ones. So I’d say I have to declutter all the old programming and negative thought patterns.
What is your favorite animal?
I am partial to cats. I’ve always had cats my entire life, and even as a child when you’d ask my favorite land animal, I would say a cheetah. As I got older I’d say a white tiger. I have three black cats at home and I love them all so much!
In what ways do you communicate online?
The number one way I communicate is here on my blog. In reality, I know I have some followers on here, but I honestly mainly talk to myself on here LOL. To communicate with others, I am off of all social media right now except for snapchat, so I mainly just send snaps to my friends or add to my story! I’m unsure if texting or facetiming counts as online, but if so, I also do those things.
In honor of the full moon, and of myself, I’m going to journal the prompts from my favorite Instagram page here on my blog. Normally I write these down in my notebook, but honestly I’m too tired to be walk downstairs and grab it, and I figured why not just post it on here!
When I bring my focus to my heart, what is it telling me?
My heart is telling me to let go:
Let go of all the pain and wounds that keep me from shining your light. Let go of the fear of disappointing others, and instead prioritize not disappointing yourself. Let go of the need to please and appease, and instead just be authentic and true to yourself.
What areas of my life are calling me to soften and surrender?
I need to soften and surrender at work. There is only so much I can do as one person, and I have been burned out before. I’m finally in a good workspace, with great owners, and they also don’t want me to burn out. I have my own job duties and it is not my responsibility to fix or manage anyone else’s duties. I have the tendency to be a fixer and I want to give solutions and help, but sometimes it’s to my own detriment. I don’t want to be stressed at work, and I have the power to stay in my lane and just focus on my own work!
Both at work and in my personal life, I’m going to keep practicing “let them” whenever I am bothered by something someone else does or says. Instead I’ll take note and give my time and energy accordingly- this year is all about being intentional and surrendering the rest to the universe.
What pain am I letting go of?
I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling the need to be perfect. I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling like I need approval and praise from external sources. I’m letting go of the pain that came from feeling emotionally abandoned…from feeling like a burden. I’m letting go of the pain that has hindered me from being my favorite version of myself. I’m letting go of all of the pain that holds me down, and I am setting myself free.
Think back on your most memorable road trip.
Is it bad that I know I did a long road trip with my aunt, uncle and cousins back when I was 10, but I can’t remember a thing about it?? LOL!
I honestly feel like I blackout road trips, because I am typically car sick if I am not the driver, and when I am the driver I’m so hyper focused on not being hit by anyone and making sure I’m listening to my maps that I don’t have the brain capacity to retain information.
My friend and I did a 5hr drive last year to go meet up with another friend and go to a show, and it was nice to be able to just chat along the way- so I guess that was most memorable for me.
Mel Robbins has talked a lot about this topic: “Let them.” She even wrote a book about it that is available for preorder (which I need to order that at some point). This phrase has become so powerful, because it allows you to take your energy and time back, and it allows you to let go of control.
In reality, we can’t change anyone else; I mean, look how hard it is to make changes in your own life! Yet, even though we know we can’t make anyone else change, we may still spend time and energy being bothered by things they do that we don’t understand. We waste our own time thinking about how others should change or even thinking about how they perceive us, when we cannot control any of that at all!
No matter how mindful or nice I try to be, someone could still think I am annoying or rude. I have no control over how someone else views me, and in reality, it really isn’t my business. How we feel about ourselves is what really matters- and a lot of us carry a lot of shame and guilt that we end up projecting onto our outer world. That is why the more we heal our own wounds, the more we heal the world. If we have less assumptions and projections and we have more discussions and connections, then we recognize how similar we all are and can give each other (and ourselves) grace.
Let people think what they want about you- as long as you know and love yourself, that is what matters. Let people act the way they do; as an adult you can set boundaries and if they break those boundaries, you can decide to let go of that relationship. In other words, then it’s time for “let me.” You are in control of your own decisions and who you decide to spend your time with. When someone is not respectful of your boundaries, listen to them.
We can complain all we want about people crossing our boundaries, but if we never stand up for ourselves, that is also a choice. You get to decide how long you put up with disrespect. We also complain about other people’s choices or actions, but that is literally taking time and energy away from your own life goals. You get to decide if you want to keep thinking about and judging someone’s actions over focusing on your own dreams and ambitions.
“Let them” is powerful, and so is “let me.” This year, I am leaning more into this theory. As I approach my 30th birthday (well, it’s not until July LOL), I am reminded to take a look at how I spend my own time and start to be more intentional with it. I live a very beautiful life and I never want to take it for granted. I am grateful for the countless blessings that surround me, and I am so happy to be present to all of this.
finding light in the dark 