Author: hermagicalthoughts

Harmony=Letting Go

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What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

I’d let go of my initial judgements towards the lives and opinions I don’t understand. I’d let go of the stereotypical beliefs that were passed onto me from previous generations and i healed caregivers. Instead, I’d lean in with curiosity and empathy, as that is where connection is born and resolutions can be found. This is something I am working on, and likely will be for my entire life considering humans come with egos- but we also come with souls.

Music Genre

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What is your favorite genre of music?

I really enjoy newer R&B music, leaning more towards alternative R&B. Currently I love listening to Tems and according to google she’s considered to be alternative R&b mixed w/ Neo soul. I enjoy artists like SZA, Masego, Mahalia, Rubii, ENNY, SiR, Smino, Tobi Lou and Mariah the Scientist. Lately I’ve also been enjoying reggae and afropop/afrobeats which Tems also incorporates into her music, but you can listen to artists like WizKid and Omah Lay to get a better feel for that type of music. I’m all for a good beat and a chill vibe!

Vacation

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Describe your most memorable vacation.

I have been blessed to do a little bit of traveling over the years. My fiancé and I have gone on a few caribbean cruises together, and although those are packed with adventure and seeing many places, I’ll always remember our trip to Los Angeles.

I remember planning the trip and booking two different hotels so that we could see a couple main attentions while we enjoyed our long weekend. For the first hotel, we were close to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We got to go to the wax museum and for the first time I went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum. Mind you, I was 20 years old when this trip happened!

At our second hotel we stayed closer to Venice Beach. Our hotel was modern and had a bar attached, and I remember we got lucky one night and no one carded us! I ended up getting a few dirty shirley’s and I remember feeling so badass and free LOL!

We ended up renting bikes and rode down the Santa Monica Pier, and although this was probably my favorite date we ever had, I can’t help but remember when one of my contacts flew out of my eye and we had to uber back to the hotel to grab my spare one! I was so upset and panicky when in reality we had a solution- I just get triggered when things don’t go as planned.

At the end of our trip, we had enjoyed our time and the weather so much that we started looking at apartments about an hour outside of LA, but we never did end up making that big move. Looking back, I am really glad we ended up staying where we are, but I definitely want to take another trip there someday!

Friday Feels

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Today I’m off while my fiancé is at work. I’m using today to take care of my car, the groceries, and ending the afternoon with a nail appointment. Maybe I’ll finally get over my anxiety about birds swooping at me and I’ll actually take a walk in the park!

I have definitely been avoiding walks since the cicadas were all over the place, which then made the birds fly crazy all over the place… but I miss my me time just connecting with myself and nature. I know I need to get my body moving again and soak up some sunshine. I did spend a little time laying in the sun on my balcony yesterday which was much needed.

It’s so crazy to think that my fiancé and I will be husband and wife in just under three months! I’m looking forward to relaxing on our vacation together, saying our “I do’s,” and just enjoying pure, present time together away from work and regular life. We haven’t had a vacation in so long, and I just know we’re gonna have the best time.

I’ve been feeling so grateful and just going with the flow of life. Letting everything happen, making observations without attaching any feelings, and just being thankful for the genuine love around me and in my life. It’s incredible to look back and see how much both I and my fiancé have evolved over time, and that only brings me more confidence and assurance as we transition into marriage life together.

The more I move through life, the more I recognize just how important it is to follow your gut and to forget about the unavoidable, irrelevant opinions. You know you better than anyone else, which is why it is so important that we all reconnect and come home to ourselves. Constant distractions and comparisons just keep us from our own intuition, so take time to remove them and sit in the stillness with yourself.

Sit with yourself and your feelings.

Count your blessings.

Release the worries that you truly have no control over.

Be here, in the now.

Be love. Send love.

Tired, Happy, Present

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Yesterday my fiancé and I had our joint bach/engagement party with our friends! We went go-karting and had some friends back to the house after for some drinks and yummy mini bundt cakes! Everyone who couldn’t make it had told me to take pictures and have fun, and I definitely only did one of those things!

I only got a couple photos at the racetrack, and none had me in it LOL, but I’m happy with how everything turned out. My fiancé won first place, which I honestly expected with how much racing he does in VR and with set up he has in his office. I did not place overall which was expected LOL but I had a such a fun time and I am definitely sore as hell this morning.

Part of me wishes I got more photos, but the rest of me is so happy that I was just immersed in the experience and in the conversations with all of our friends there. It was nice to see everyone and just have some laughs and good food! I am so happy we were able to organize this event for us and our friends to celebrate before we get married in October!

To My Younger Self (6•23•24)

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Hey little girl,
How are you doing today?
Did you have a good day at school?
Did you go outside and play?

I hope you had your time to escape
From the anger and chaos within the walls
Of the apartment on that second floor
Where dingy carpet lines the eerily long halls

You often weren’t aware of how bad it was
Not in the younger years that is
Because you watched all your friends in their own struggles
You were more worried about her pain and his

You were good at removing yourself from the suffering
You were always able to see the good and humor in things
Sometimes that humor could be looked at as dark
But it helped get through the bitter words and stings

You were so observant and smart
Too grown up for your young age
You could sense when things were off
Even when they tried to keep you in your cage

You knew that life wasn’t normal
Even if it seemed better than others you saw
You started your plans on how you would free yourself
And looking back at your diligence, I admire in awe

You got to work as soon as you could
Working multiple jobs and saving away
You knew the environment you grew up in
Was not where you were destined to stay

You planned and you prayed 
Staying both focused and hopeful
You trusted your gut when others had doubt
And along the way, you found someone very special

A partner, a lover; someone who loved you for you
You both fell so hard and so fast
You knew deep in your heart, that he was the one
And even at such a young age, you knew it would last

You have always followed your intuition
You listened to the knowing within your soul
I am so proud and happy for you, sweet child
For you both took on and released control

You knew what was within your power
You are the reason I am here today, happy and healing
You did everything you could to build your ideal life
One full of peaceful, lovely feelings

You are so strong and resilient
Even today, you reside within my heart and bones
Together, we get to live our favorite lives
And we get to create a happy, healthy home

Thank you for your empathetic nature
Thank you for your strength and determination
Thank you for your playfulness and sensitivities
Thank you for your love and admiration

Thank you for your open mind
Thank you for your appreciation of the little things
Thank you for showing me the beautiful parts of life
Thank you for showing me what trusting myself brings

Prompt – Wasted Time

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How do you waste the most time every day?

I waste time scrolling through Instagram. Although I also post and make reels sometimes, I know that social media is harmful and it’s not something I want to be focused on all the time. I think about becoming a parent one day and I never want my child to feel like a phone or social media platform is more important than time with them.

I’ve put limits on my phone that I ignore, but when I actually delete the app and take breaks, I always feel so refreshed. If I know I plan to get rid of it when I have a child, why do I keep it now? Entertainment? Connection? The occasional hit of getting a few thousand views on a reel? Is that doing anything beneficial for me in reality? Nope!

I love being connected with some of the authors, podcasters and singers that I admire, but again I’m not actually connected to them. If they ever like a comment or comment back, it’s their management team anyways. In actuality, I am not missing out on anything- and if I really wanted to “stay connected,” I can continue to listen to their podcasts/music and can visit their own webpages.

I love the positive posts and the funny videos, but are they worth taking time away from real life goals and aspirations?

My Favorite Thing

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What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My favorite thing about me is the same thing I used to despise: my sensitivity. I have always felt everything so deeply and fully, and it wasn’t until I had my emotions turned off that I recognized how much I needed them. Not caring and feeling numb made me feel so disconnected from myself and from the word around me, and that is something I never wish to experience again. In summary, I can bring it down to one of my favorite quotes: “it’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.”

my tattoo I got in 2018