mel robbins

“Successful”

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When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?

When I think “successful” I think of Mel Robbins, because:

1. She is a best selling author

2. She has a popular podcast

3. She is AUTHENTIC

I love listening to Mel, because she just comes off as such a real human being! She is constantly writing and recording while also being a wife, as well as a mother to three adult children. She tells it like it is and with her interviews, it seems like she has access to all of these very smart, successful people. I love that she didn’t start her podcast until she was 54, and she completely blew the game out of the water. She’s definitely someone I admire and I’d love to meet one day.

“Let Them”

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Mel Robbins has talked a lot about this topic: “Let them.” She even wrote a book about it that is available for preorder (which I need to order that at some point). This phrase has become so powerful, because it allows you to take your energy and time back, and it allows you to let go of control.

In reality, we can’t change anyone else; I mean, look how hard it is to make changes in your own life! Yet, even though we know we can’t make anyone else change, we may still spend time and energy being bothered by things they do that we don’t understand. We waste our own time thinking about how others should change or even thinking about how they perceive us, when we cannot control any of that at all!

No matter how mindful or nice I try to be, someone could still think I am annoying or rude. I have no control over how someone else views me, and in reality, it really isn’t my business. How we feel about ourselves is what really matters- and a lot of us carry a lot of shame and guilt that we end up projecting onto our outer world. That is why the more we heal our own wounds, the more we heal the world. If we have less assumptions and projections and we have more discussions and connections, then we recognize how similar we all are and can give each other (and ourselves) grace.

Let people think what they want about you- as long as you know and love yourself, that is what matters. Let people act the way they do; as an adult you can set boundaries and if they break those boundaries, you can decide to let go of that relationship. In other words, then it’s time for “let me.” You are in control of your own decisions and who you decide to spend your time with. When someone is not respectful of your boundaries, listen to them.

We can complain all we want about people crossing our boundaries, but if we never stand up for ourselves, that is also a choice. You get to decide how long you put up with disrespect. We also complain about other people’s choices or actions, but that is literally taking time and energy away from your own life goals. You get to decide if you want to keep thinking about and judging someone’s actions over focusing on your own dreams and ambitions.

“Let them” is powerful, and so is “let me.” This year, I am leaning more into this theory. As I approach my 30th birthday (well, it’s not until July LOL), I am reminded to take a look at how I spend my own time and start to be more intentional with it. I live a very beautiful life and I never want to take it for granted. I am grateful for the countless blessings that surround me, and I am so happy to be present to all of this.

Best Advice

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What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Since I’ve been on a mental health / healing journey, I have come across a lot of golden nuggets of wisdom and advice. When I read this prompt, what immediately came to mind is something that Mel Robbins has discussed on her podcast and what her next book topic is about: “Let them.”

The whole point of the “Let Them Theory” is to have a better sense of inner peace as well as control over one’s own mindset. We can do this by not taking things personally, but also by recognizing that we have no control over how someone else behaves and it is not our responsibility to control them.

Sometimes we let other people’s actions and beliefs affect our own lives, by constantly thinking about, judging or trying to “fix” them. It’s also kind of funny because we know how hard it is to change ourselves and develop new habits, yet we can get so bothered by other people not changing who they are. Instead of focusing on how someone else is living their life, just let them.

“This Too Shall Pass”

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I survived Monday! And if you’re reading this, that means you did too! Congratulations! I hope you did something for yourself today, because you deserve it! I am happy to report that I woke up today in less pain than I’ve been in all week, and it really wasn’t a bad Monday! Work was productive, getting adjusted and chatting with the chiropractor’s assistant was pleasant, and doing some stretches in the comfort of my living room while listening to Mel Robbins is honestly quite therapeutic.

I just wanted to write for a second, because I was reflecting on my generally good mood today, and it truly is insane how different my mood was when I was in pain. I mean it makes total sense! Not only was I irritable because of the pain I felt and how slowly I had to move when doing literally anything, but I felt myself getting anxious about the house chores piling up, and of course starting the worst case scenarios: “what if I am in this horrific pain forever?” But when I found myself sobbing softly in the kitchen (because a hard sob would hurt too much) my brain did something different. Instead of letting myself go down that dark rabbit hole of guilt and negative self-talk, during the very worst of the pain I found myself saying, out loud too myself: “This is temporary, I am okay.”

I knew the back pain was temporary, because I had this same pain a month prior. I knew that I’d continue to see the chiropractor and actually start wearing the back brace (so maybe I didn’t wear the brace and maybe I skipped out on my therapies…I wonder why the pain started. LOL) and that I could get help myself out of this pain. I knew the pain wasn’t going to be there forever, and that I would feel myself again… so why not apply this to all of life’s hard times?

If I wanted to relive my past, which quite frankly I am actively trying to live in the present so that doesn’t sound very appealing, I would wish that I could have thought this way in so many moments. To be able to remind yourself that heavy emotions are temporary, the physical pain is temporary, the need for more rest is temporary, that stressful job is temporary…that can ease so much of the weight in those hard times. It’s easy for me to spiral into negative thought patterns and turn on the self-loathing soundboard, so to be able to stop the downward spiral with the simple reminder that “this too shall pass” is honestly a game-changer. I know, I know… I’ve heard that phrase a million times over in my twenty-seven years of life, but this is when it clicked for me.

As I move through the week and face challenges as they come (including hormonal ones, because sometimes I think mother nature f*cking hates me), I will continue to remind myself that everything is temporary. I get to choose what I focus on, and I am choosing to focus on my happiness. And no matter how heavy things may feel, I’ll just remind myself that this too shall pass.