What is your favorite restaurant?
This is the restaurant that my fiancé proposed to me at. It’s our regular breakfast place and the food is amazing, as well as the service! To me, the best part is that they give to-go cups for your coffee!
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
“When are you guys getting married?” “When is he gonna propose?” “What’s taking so long?”
In one way, I get it- we were together for 12 years before we got engaged, and in this society that is “not normal.” In another way, I am like fuck society and these fake timelines that we love to project onto everyone.
I personally am very happy with my fiancé and our relationship, and I was happy prior to having a ring. I also am a more private person and especially when it comes to things that I find to be very precious or intimate, so it can be easy to assume things when there aren’t a lot of details given. But we all know what happens when we make assumptions… lol.
I am happy with this timeline of my life, and I am excited to be able to tell our future children about our love story and show them how healthy, true love can look. I am happy to have this foundation built prior to jumping into marriage, as we are both so confident in our relationship and we know the best and worst parts of each other.
If we would have gotten married right at 18 or 19 before we moved out, we would have been judged for that. At the same time, we had judgment from family about us moving in together so young, and a couple years after that we even had judgment thrown at us when we decided to buy a house.
I have my own views, as does my fiancé, and considering we are the only people in our relationship, our opinions are the only relevant ones when it comes to us. In general, people are always going to have opinions, but what is important is that you stay true to your own beliefs and values, despite all of the outside noise.
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
“As an only child who was raised by functioning alcoholics, Jena was destined to be a healer.”
LOL not gonna lie, writing that sentence weirdly made me more motivated to pursue certain projects that I’ve been avoiding.
Thank you.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Moving out with my significant other at 19 was a huge turning point for me. I was financially responsible and prepared, but my traumas and mental health caught up to me which started a long journey of healing and growing.
Going to therapy, having to advocate for myself when trying different medications for my anxiety, actually coming to a place in my mind where I didn’t hate myself and my brain… all of these experiences have helped me grow. I am blessed to be regulated off medications now, but like any other human, there are still things I continue to work through and will be doing for the rest of my life; the difference is that now I finally feel I’m worth it, and I’m healing out of love, not shame.
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
When you look up the definition of fate, Oxford dictionary defines it as “
the development of events beyond a person’s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.” When I read this I initially thought about the quote “everything happens for a reason,” which also happens to be the first tattoo I ever got. That is something I have always been told and something I have always believed.
I’d like to believe that there is a higher power that has a greater plan and everything is happening as it should. This is something I have been finding peace in and can completely understand why people are religious and/or spiritual. It’s much easier to let go when you trust that there is a positive source conducting your life in the best possible way. There isn’t any way to prove it, but our brain will automatically look for confirmation bias and it’s honestly more enjoyable to believe that than the chaotic, anxious thoughts that used to spin around in my brain.
Who are your favorite people to be around?
My fiancé is my favorite person to be around for an infinite number of reasons, but if I had to narrow it down to one it would probably be his nervous system. What I mean by that is he is always so calm and confident that whatever happens will be okay, and he seems so regulated. When I am having a stressful time, I can feel it all melt away when I am in his arms.
As far as the general idea of favorite people: I love the people who are real, who are direct and who are kind. I don’t appreciate lying and I’d much rather someone be honest about who they are and what they like, and fully embrace and express their true selves. I love people who laugh a lot and don’t take life too seriously, because in reality, none of us make it out alive.
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
It may sound extreme, but I feel like children should not have social media or be on social accounts. The more studies and data that comes out after studying the millennials and our insane anxiety and depression shows how harmful comparison culture is and how addictive these social media apps are.
There is a loneliness epidemic because even though everyone is more technologically connected than ever, we’re also more disconnected from ourselves and other humans than ever as well! Children are addicted to likes and views, and are constantly competing against their peers for more attention or internet fame, when in reality these are not the problems any children should be worried about.
Not to mention how horrible bullying gets for children; not only could your entire class or school bully you, but if certain photos or videos were posted to the internet as a means to bully someone, that now has the potential to go viral and be seen by thousands of random people as well! What’s worse is sometimes it’s even parents posting their children’s embarrassing moments or tantrums online!
That also brings up the point of the family vlog channels on YouTube, where there are children who only know life with a camera and have no sense of privacy. These channels, if popular, tend to make money that unfortunately some of these kids will never see. There’s no rules or regulations around children as internet entertainers, and there are parents making tons of money off of their children’s online content.
I understand we need technology and social media for businesses and our jobs, but at what point will there be regulations for children on these apps? How much harm has to be caused in order for people to recognize how important it is to monitor how much time their child is spending online, or even just knowing what they’re doing when they’re in online! There are creeps all over the internet waiting for children who have parents that aren’t paying attention- I think it’s better to play it safe and delay children using any social media until adulthood.
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
I remember buying my cricut a few years ago and being so excited to do so much crafting. I made shirts and cups and wine glasses and even had some friends who made requests for certain things. Over the years I’d go through phases of being super into crafting and wanting absolutely nothing to do with it, and currently I am in a phase of not wanting to craft at all.
I thought when I got engaged I would be making myself a bunch of “fiancée” and “engaged” gear, and to be fair I did make us a pair of matching hoodies, but since that I haven’t been feeling up to making anything. I’m sure I will get back into another phase and I’ll crank out some projects, but for now I’m just focusing on writing and resting.
What’s your favorite candy?
I’ve always loved KitKats and that is what came to mind first, but Take 5 is definitely a close second! I’ll always go for the chocolate before I go for any other type of candy.
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
Working out! I can’t get myself to do it, even though I know how good I feel once it’s done. When it gets warmer it’s easier for me to get outside on walks because I actually enjoy them, but just walking on my treadmill isn’t the same. I’ve recently thought about finding fun ways to exercise, such as roller blading, so maybe I’ll start doing that this year!
finding light in the dark 