life

Energy

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The energy of today was chaotic as f*ck if you ask me. Work was wild, it felt like emotions were at an all time high, and I’m PMS-ing on top of it which doesn’t help. A couple of my friends I talked to today also felt this wild ass energy today, so I’m just trying to frame it positively like we are all about to level up by remembering where we need to set our boundaries and enforce them. I am not going to continue to let other people mess up my mood or how I am feeling about my day. How other people act is not my problem or my responsibility, I am only responsible for my own reactions and responses. Can you tell I’ve been reading “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins? LOL!

Honestly though, this “Let Them” thing is harder than it sounds, but I am glad that this is on the forefront of my mind right now. I have definitely let other people’s lack of care and competence at work bother me, but literally it is not my problem. I am good at what I do, and I am not responsible for anyone else’s job or work ethic- I am only responsible for my own. I love the owners I work for, I love what I do even if it is stressful some days (I mean it’s fighting against insurance companies… so it’s just going going to be stressful somedays LOL) and I can be proud of my own work and focus on all of the positive aspects of my job.

It is important to feel and release the frustration from the day, but I can also choose to do that in a positive way. Instead of dwelling on the negative and continuing to talk about it, I can choose to do an activity to help ground me and bring me back to center. Sometimes that is dancing around my house, other times it is writing in my journal or here on my blog, and sometimes it is singing my heart out in the shower- all of these things are enjoyable to me, and they allow me release the tension from the day.

I definitely gave away a lot of my energy today. I got caught up being upset about things that are beyond my control, and I know that going forward, I do not want to waste my time on negative people or situations. I sometimes get mad at myself for caring too much when it feels like other people don’t care at all, but at the same time, I love that I care. I love that I am someone who takes pride in their work and work ethic. The reason I was able to move out and buy a home when I did is because: 1. I have an incredible husband who has been my rock through the entire journey and 2. I have always worked hard at every job I had, working towards promotions, being recognized for my skills/work ethic, and I am proud of myself for that. I do not need to waste time on negativity when there are so many blessings around me. I am grateful for this life I live, and I have worked hard to get here.

With that being said, thank you Universe and Angels for protecting me and helping me stay grounded in my own peaceful energy. Thank you for the fact that my husband and I can afford our bills, have access to food and water, have working vehicles and good jobs. Thank you for watching over us and supporting our love, and thank you for this beautiful life. I am so thankful to be at a place in my life where I am not in a constant state of anxiety, and I refuse to allow irrelevant things to knock me off my path to my higher self. I love the fact that I am a sensitive soul who cares, and in reality, I appreciate ever soul I meet. I say that, because no matter what the interaction is, I know I am learning from everyone that I cross paths with, and I with that knowledge I can only evolve.

Easter Sunday / 4-20-25

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I am not a religious person, so I did not go to church this morning. I haven’t been to church since I was a small child, and I vividly remember vomiting while singing hymns and my uncle telling me that the devil came out of me that day. So that’s my experience with religion, plus lots of veggie tales. My parents were religious when I was younger, they apparently even had bible study nights with their friends and they said I was there for those too as a toddler. Of course I do not remember this.

As an adult I’ve been on my own spiritual journey, and I very much believe in a higher power. I do speak to my angels and guides, I see signs and synchronicities often, but I still struggle with the word/name “God.” I think it is because when I picture this higher power, I do not see it as one entity. If anything I feel most comfortable saying “source,” because I see it all as a big, beautiful light and we all have this light inside of us. So if there is one “entity,” it’s our collective as a whole.

How I see the world is that we all have the light and the dark. Some people have more darkness within them, stemming from wounds and traumas they’ve experienced or been passed down from previous generations, and some have more light as they’ve worked through their traumas and found community to help support them. The more that the light workers shine, the more they can help others to shine through their own darkness.

Today, let’s spread our light to everyone. Smile at strangers, let people in during traffic, practice patience in moments when you feel aggravated, and just focus on the gratitude and blessings all around you. I feel so lucky to be alive today, and I am grateful to be able to spend time with my husband and just enjoy this day of rest.

Sending love to everyone this beautiful Sunday!

4-15-2025 Astrology Prompts

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I saw my favorite Instagram page posted a couple prompts today in regards to communication, so I thought, why not answer those here on my blog? The reason for the post/prompts is because Mercury, the planet of communication, is transitioning into the sign of Aries. According to astrologers, this is a time for fierce and honest words from the heart to be unleashed unapologetically.

Here are the prompts from SistersVillage:

1. I have not started my podcast (or written my book for that matter) out of fear of hurting others…mainly family members. I know that harsh truths can be hard to hear, and the whole point of my podcast would be to tell my story as authentically and honestly as possible. It’s hard to bring up where my parents have had their faults, as I am not trying to shame them or make the whole rest of our family aware of their issues; but at the same time, I have overcome a lot in my life and I know that my journey could inspire others to keep going during hard times. There were many times in my younger years where I was lost and angry, and I often felt that I did not have role models, but instead I had people showing me the life I did not want to live. Luckily, I do not live that life anymore, but it took a lot of work and reflection to stop myself from becoming consumed in my trauma.

Okay, I have to pause for a second before I answer this next prompt because I just saw 5:55 on the clock and I am crying at the timing. 555 is the angel number for CHANGE! Talk about a synchronicity! I just feel so connected to my angels and the universe in this moment, so the pause is necessary. Call me delusional, but I’d rather get excited over numbers than sit here having anxious intrusive thoughts any day. Anyways, onto the next prompt!

2. Prompt two goes with number one: my podcast. I am holding myself back from my dreams, and have been for years now. The calling never goes away either, I basically think about it every day. I distract myself with scrolling and watching TV. I keep saying it isn’t the time or I don’t know how to start, but none of that is actually true. I am the only person in my way, and it’s about time that I stop holding myself back.

10 Years From Now

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Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Ten years from now I’ll be 39. I see myself and my husband with two children, living in a new, single family home with a yard. The kids are in school, youngest just in preschool or kindergarten, so I’m returning to a more full time work schedule. Whether that is still in dental or at one of my children’s schools to get help with tuition assistance (if we decide to go private), I know I’ll be happy either way.

I see us being creative at home, having the kids help with tasks like cooking simply because they think it’s fun to be helpful. I see finger-painting days, as well as days where we make messes with shaving cream with food coloring. I see movie nights with an assortment of different popcorns and snacks. I see more time at the parks and the pools when it’s nice out, and lots of sledding and snowman building in the winter.

Life looks busy, yet also slow. I see less technology usage for myself, except when it comes to work or helping the kids with school. Oh, and of course we will have our Mario Kart nights so we need our technology for that! I’m still blogging, and I am finally good at being intentional with my mornings, as I’ve learned that getting alone time is still a huge priority.

My husband and I still get our solo breakfast dates at least once a month, but usually twice since both sets of grandparents love spending Saturday mornings with the kids. Our anniversary is celebrated in the house as our “family birthday,” and our kids grow up seeing what real, healthy love looks like. Ten years from now looks pretty good to me.

Full Moon 4-12-2025

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Happy Full Moon!

I am feeling so refreshed and recharged, and I am finally at the end of my recovery! I still have minor pain where my tonsils were, and still dealing with the post-nasal phlegm from the nasal turbinate reduction, but it is sooooo much better than I was a few days ago. I’m sure me singing at the top of my lungs and talking all day is contributing to the pain, but I have been resting my voice and body for over a week and I needed to release-and what better time than the full moon?

I am feeling so grateful to have gotten through this recovery, because that sh*t was no joke. The doctor warned me that I would be in a lot of pain for a while, but I was really thinking I had a high pain tolerance and that I would be a champ… LOL no. If you can get your tonsils out as a child, do that, because it is rough as hell as an adult. To be fair though, a week out of my entire life is just a tiny blip, and it is so worth it in the long run. I am just glad this is behind me, and now I can live normally again! Well, I am still avoiding crunchy/hard foods right now so I don’t irritate the area while it is still healing, but it nice to be able to eat some solid foods now.

Today my husband and I were invited to our friends place for a poker day/night, and I decided to stay home since I knew I couldn’t have any of their snacks LOL. Also, I did not want to play, nor did I want to sit and watch everyone else play. My friend and I got on Facetime for a couple hours which was nice, especially since I really haven’t been talking to anyone since my surgery last Thursday! Her and I are going to visit our friend in North Dakota for her 30th birthday next month, so we are getting excited for that!

Overall, I am feeling happy. I’m happy to be out of pain. I’m happy to have great friends and an even better husband (sorry not sorry friends, he is always gonna be my #1). I am happy that I have a job that I actually enjoy to return to on Monday. I am happy that we have good health insurance. I am happy that I can sing along to my favorite songs again. I am happy that I can go on a breakfast date with my love tomorrow. I am just happy, and I am so grateful to be able to feel into my happiness.

4-5-25

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I’m calling today day three of recovery, even though technically I had the surgery done two days ago. My surgery was so early in the morning that the entire day counted as recovery (in my eyes LOL).

Today I did throw up and I think that is due to the pain medicine. The reason I didn’t have nausea the last couple days is because the hospital had put an anti-nausea patch behind my ear, so that had been helping keep the nausea away. I had to take the patch off, because it does cause dry mouth which unfortunately hinders the healing of my tonsils as I am supposed to keep the mouth relatively hydrated.

I’m hoping that since I am having some bone broth and mashed potatoes that will keep me from getting nauseous again. I will say, it’s kind of annoying because I’ve been instructed to eat ice cream/popsicles to help with the pain and swelling, but the sugar can make me nauseous.

Either way, I am surviving and working through it all. My mom came by to visit today which was nice, and my husband has been so helpful and amazing during this entire process. I am so lucky and so grateful for all of the love I have in my life.

gifts from mom making me feel young again

Friday 4/4

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Feeling blessed and feeling pain- but overall all is well. I have been lacking a little sleep, but as the pain goes down, I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep better than ever! I am making sure to take the medications as directed to manage the pain as well, I’m just hoping it continues to go down.

My mouth is insanely dry right now for a couple reasons. One is I have to breathe through my mouth right now since my nose has packing in it (I start to rinse that out today). The other reason is because they have me a nausea patch the wear so I didn’t get sick after the anesthesia and pain meds, and they told me in can make my mouth and eyes very dry.

I can leave the patch on for a couple more days and honestly I want to because I usually get nauseous and I’d rather not feel like I’m going to puke while I’m also in pain. As much as the dry mouth sucks, I’ll just keep sipping my iced water.

I am just grateful for cuddles with my husband and my cats while I heal. I am falling back asleep as I write this, so I’m going to listen to my body and go back to bed. I hope everyone has a great Friday and upcoming weekend. 🤍

my baby girl Sky aka the birthday girl!! happy 10th birthday to my senior kitty.

4/2/25

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Today marks six months of marriage with my husband. It’s crazy that we have been together for 13.5 years, and yet my love for him continues to grow. I feel so very blessed to have him in my life, and I am grateful that he will be by my side for my recovery after my surgery tomorrow. I’m just trusting in the universe that all will be well.

Monday 3-31-25

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I’m realizing that today is the last day of March and that is just wild to me right now. I had my pre-op appointment for my procedure coming up on Thursday, and I definitely feel more informed, but I’m also a bit more anxious.

I’m not worried about going under anesthesia or the actual procedure, but I’m a little more concerned about the recovery process. It sounds like I will be pretty miserable for quite a few days.

I’m not only getting a tonsillectomy, I will also be have a nasal surgery done that will reduce my tissue and allow me to breathe better… once I’m recovered. During recover though, I will not be able to breathe through my nose at all, because when I wake up from my surgery, my nose will be completely packed and taped.

In an ideal world, I will not have a lot of bleeding and I will not have insane amounts of pain. I am going to follow all the instructions so I can have the best and easiest recovery possible. I am going to continue to remind myself that the pain is temporary, and in the long run it will be so worth it!

No more tonsil stones and recurring swelling. No more insane nose congestion when I have a cold or illness. I’ll be able to breathe through my nose fully and train myself to stop being a mouth-breather. One of my coworkers said after she had hers out at 21, she doesn’t have any post nasal drip issues anymore, and she rarely gets sick- so I am hopeful that I will have that same result!

In the end, I have to put faith in the doctor and the nurses, and I am doing that. I know this is a common procedure and I am actually going to the same doctor that my coworker did, so I know he does good work! I can trust in myself to follow the instructions and be able to manage the pain for a few days.

I also am putting faith in the universe, in my angels and guides. I pray they watch over me during the surgery and recovery, keeping me safe and protected. I pray they watch over my husband while he takes care of me- he hates to see me in pain. Thank you for wrapping us in your love and support, and I trust that all will be more than okay in the end. Thank you, thank you, thank you!