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Free Writing, Free Thoughts. 4-28-24

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I am proud of myself for being able to speak about my opinions while still having empathy, and I have had this ability all along. I’ve kept quiet, keeping my true thoughts to myself in times where it was actually appropriate to share them all in fear of hurting another person. Having a different opinion or thought may be offensive or triggering for some, but that is not to be feared, that is to be expected and even celebrated.

If you think about it, now you have an opportunity to learn about this new perspective that has you bothered- meaning now you can learn where this belief may stem from. If you are very set in your belief and opinion, now you get to move forward with these relationships knowing how the other person feels and you get to decide if that is something you can deal with. If I completely disagree with someone’s morals or learn something that changes my view of them, I am allowed to express my concern and/or distance myself. Just as they are allowed to do the same once they know my opinion as well!

It is not a loss when someone leaves after you are open and authentic; instead you now have more room for the real connections that you’re going to make in your life. The authentic and genuine connections only come from you being authentic and genuine. Whatever it is you’re seeking, make sure you’re embodying that in your own life. You are not required to share everything with everyone, and the more you’re open to having conversations, the more you learn to practice discernment. Not everyone is entitled to know every detail of your life, you do not need to share anything that you don’t want to.

The more time you spend with yourself, the more you learn about yourself- but the more you spend connecting with others, the more you learn from others and gain new perspectives. Balance is important. Being in tune with your gut is important. Be still, be brave, and be authentic.

Decisions.

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I’m not going to lie, I’ve been kind of stressed. I’m proud of myself for not letting it consume me, but I am over this week and last week too. Work is annoying me, our AC went out last Thursday and we still don’t have a quote yet, and also the state of the world is annoying me as well.

I work in healthcare and I have a fear that my company may mandate all of us to get the vaccine. Being young, healthy, and someone who wants to have children in the next few years, I personally want to wait. I do not feel comfortable getting this experimental vaccine at this time. This doesn’t mean I never will (although I’ve never had a flu shot in my life), but I’m definitely going to wait as long as I can.

There have been reports of women having strange menstrual cycles after receiving the vaccine, and that happened to one of my close friends. One of my coworkers also said her cycle has been really weird lately and she is the only one who is vaccinated in the office. I know that it may be a rare side effect, but also, we don’t actually have a clue how common it is. We are still learning about the vaccine and even learning about covid itself; I have the right to choose to wait.

If I’m sick, I’ll get tested and stay home. If I’m not sick, I’m going out and living my life. I understand that the virus can be deadly, but according to CDC statistics, the likelihood of me dying are less than 1%. The vaccine is still not FDA approved, and there are many doctors across the US who have had success in treating covid with ivermectin and/or hydrochloroquine (which I’d feel much more comfortable taking since they have decades of research in humans). I’m simply weighing my risks and making the choice that I feel is right for me.

I understand why people are getting vaccinated and I don’t blame them! I understand why they are and am all for it, I just don’t like when it’s pushed down my throat and the media encourages people to shame the unvaccinated. Some aren’t vaccinated because of religious reasons, some are immunocompromised, and some just are wanting to wait for more data. I do not know what is best for someone else and their life, so I don’t judge people and their decisions; but I stand by my opinions and my decisions.