What have you been putting off doing? Why?
Opening my new juicer and using it LOL! I’ve never had one so although my friend says it is easy and there are very clear instructions, I still tend to psyche myself out and get intimidated. I’m hoping I can get myself to open it today or tomorrow.
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
It’s such a weird thing to think about- feeling grown up. I was always the child who was praised by other adults for being so mature for my age and so smart, but that is because many times it felt as though I was the grown up at home. I did most of the chores (which I wanted an allowance and I was the only child), and I often tried to jump in and be the mediator for my parents fights.
I’d like to say it was when my husband and I got our first apartment that I felt grown up, but just being as we were still in the same building as my parents, it was still too close to home. When we bought our townhome I definitely felt like we had a bunch of adult paperwork to deal with and we also had to deal with a broker, realtor and those at the bank, so that was definitely a grown up experience for us.
Have I ever really felt like a grown up though? Or have I just done grown up things as an adult child- because it definitely still feels more like the latter. I mean we just spent our honeymoon at Harry Potter World in Universal Studios because we are still literal children in our hearts! Honestly, I enjoy that childlike joy and awe about the world, so maybe I will never really feel like a “grown up.”
for years we’ve heard the same questions over and over again: everyone was always wondering why we weren’t engaged or married after being together for so long. people will always have their views, and most of the time you’ll find that it often has to do with society. it’s funny how people complain about “society’s standards” and then simultaneously push them upon one another, when in reality, society isn’t even meant to be in your relationship- so why let it dictate your timeline?
as I’ve been healing and growing throughout my life, I’ve recognized the importance of blocking out noise. people will always have an opinion or something to say, but they are NOT in your partnership. I feel it is important to hear people out if those are people who truly love and support you, but when it comes down to it, your relationship is about you and your partner. it’s important to pay attention to who is giving you advice and who is projecting their own issues and opinions. you wouldn’t ask someone who is thrice divorced for marriage advice, just like you wouldn’t ask someone who has never purchased a home for homeowner advice- so why let that outside noise affect your relationship?
when Cameron and I started dating, we were 16 years old. we told each other we loved each other after eleven days of dating. he wrote me a letter after a couple months where he told me that he understood why people would meet and get married within six months. if we would have gotten married in a rush at that age, I can’t tell you where we would be, but I can tell you that society and others around us would have disapproved. when we were buying a home at age 21, we had people asking why were we rushing to do that, while simultaneously asking us when we would be getting married. to us, it never mattered what people told us.
we have always listened to what we wanted and needed, and I am so blessed that we have been able to grow along side each other for the past 13 years. marriage is a lifelong commitment, even though society may not see it that way any longer, but it is to us. I’m glad we spent time building our foundation and I am so excited to spend forever with my husband.
If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?
If I had all of that money to give away, I would definitely want to help our families pay off any debts that are stressing them. With any leftover money it would be amazing if we could help local communities in poverty. I’d love to be able to provide somewhere for people to sleep/stay that can help them get cleaned up and have the confidence and resources to get back on their feet.
(post from my Instagram)
4:44 is the angel number that symbolizes protection. when we were planning our wedding, we never anticipated that a hurricane would form and hit Florida a few days prior to our arrival. we were incredibly lucky that hurricane Helene did not touch Pensacola Beach, and our wedding went on as planned. 🤍
after we spent time in Pensacola, we headed over to Orlando to enjoy our Harry Potter package we bought and we had the best time riding all the rides, buying Harry Potter gear, and just enjoying each others company as a husband and wife. a couple days after we arrived, we got word that hurricane Milton was now forming and also heading toward Florida. this caused initial panic considering we are not trying to be in the middle of this storm, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but thank the universe.
I say that because when we had originally planned this trip in April, we had booked to stay in Orlando until October 11. A few weeks after we booked it, we changed our minds and decided to cut off a couple days and rescheduled to come home today. I can’t help but feel like the divine stepped in with this plan, because the Orlando airport is shutting down tomorrow in anticipation of hurricane Milton, which means we would have been stuck in FL.
I have been on a healing journey for a while now, but within this last year I have been more dedicated to my faith in angels/source/the universe- and I can’t help but feel so blessed and protected by the divine. I always struggled with faith and letting go of control, but I have learned so much over this year, and truly in these past few weeks, that has only increased my faith in a higher power.
I feel incredibly blessed and lucky that my husband and I have landed safely back in our home town, and I feel so grateful for whatever is above that is watching over us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍✨
What details of your life could you pay more attention to?
A couple things popped in my head when I read this prompt:
My habits when I am feeling down/defeated vs. when I’m feeling happy/fulfilled.
When I start feeling worked up and bothered, actually sitting and going through how and why I feel that way.
How authentic I am with certain people and why I feel more comfortable with some people vs. others.
How certain foods make me feel, physically and mentally- and actually working to eat things that fuel a good mood.
It was just 5:55 on the clock, which is the angel number for “change.” Well, in two short days I get to marry the love of my life! I’m so grateful that we may it to our destination safely, and I also already had some family arrive as well! The rest of our friends and family arrive tomorrow, and then Wednesday is the big day!
We get to spend the next few days in our lovely suite with the ocean view! Although we may already miss our cats, it will be nice to be away from work and chores for a little while and just be able to focus on each other and all the love that surrounds us. 🤍
What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?
Tomorrow the priority is GETTING OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE!!! We are headed to the airport this morning to head down to Florida, so tomorrow we have our appointment for the license and we’re going to head to the beach where we will be saying our “I do’s” in just three days!!!!
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
When I think of a hard day of work, I definitely feel satisfied at the end of the day if I feel like I accomplished the goals I wanted to. When I feel like I have been productive and have crossed a lot off my list, I feel fulfilled in the way that I actually followed through on my goal.
It’s a lot easier for me to be productive and goal oriented in a work environment- sometimes I wonder if it’s still feeding a part of my inner child that craves approval and praise. When it comes to my own personal life, if I have a day where I can cross a bunch of chores of the list, I definitely feel fulfilled. I feel like I have taken care of my home and I have rid myself of overwhelming piles of tasks, which is satisfying.
Since moving away from people-pleasing and perfectionism tendencies, I have since recognized that my worth is not defined by how accomplished I am in the workplace or how clean my home is. I am worthy as I am, and as I lean into self love/care, I have also realized how important rest is. Burnout isn’t fun for anyone, nor is it worth it to sacrifice your health and wellbeing all in the name of being productive. As much as I enjoy feeling fulfilled by a hard day’s work, I also enjoy resting and recharging, so that I can feel fulfilled even when I am not doing anything.
What’s the trait you value most about yourself?
Empathy.
Although it sometimes feels like a blessing and a curse, I have grown to love this part of me so much. I’ve been on medications when all of my emotions and sensitivities were taken away from me, and I absolutely hated it; I felt like a completely different person. Now that I’m more regulated and actively in therapy, I have learned better ways to use and embrace this gift.
finding light in the dark 