It can be really hard to let go of things beyond your control, but your body and brain don’t need to hold onto that stress.
Gratitude changes attitude! Focusing on the good can be hard sometimes, but it’s very rewarding.
We are so small in the grand scheme of the world and universe- sometimes zooming out helps realize that our problems are quite minuscule.
Some people suck, and some don’t. That’s it.
Well it’s windy and there are snowy ice pellets falling from the sky and I have to leave for work in a couple minutes. This weather always makes me anxious, mainly because of the sliding in the car and feeling of lack of control. I’m praying I get to work safely and so does my husband, as well as everyone else on the roads today.
The sandwiches turned out so good!!!
I am tired from work but it’s not as bad as it has been, and today I feeling motivated so I am attempting to make a version of the Starbucks tomato mozzarella sandwich! Tomatoes are roasting in the oven now and once they’re done I’ll add them to the sandwiches, add some spinach on top, and bake the sandwiches for 5-10 minutes to let the mozzarella melt! I’m so excited to see how they turn out!
Today was much less overwhelming than the last week was which has given me hope for this week. I am feeling a huge relief at work and hoping that I can get into a good flow soon! Again, it’s January and everyone has brand new insurance this year, but soon enough we will be over this hump! I’m so excited to have my old manager working with us, as she knows her shit and she is such a dedicated, hard-working employee! I know there is a bright ass light at the end of this tunnel, and I’m excited about it. 2026 is going to be great in all aspects of my life- claiming that energy now!
My husband and I are driving home from visiting my family for our January Christmas. We had a nice time playing “ghetto cooties” with the family and we won $25 off a scratch off! Each family member had to bring a $5 scratch off and we all randomly had one to scratch at the end of our game, and mine was a winner!
What is almost weirdly more exciting is that the two scratch offs we bought for the games were both winners! One won $25 and the other was a $50 winner! Although we didn’t get those, I was just so excited that we bought two winners! It was nice to see the family and hang out with my cousin. My husband and him played Fortnite together while I was making some cute memes for my podcast IG page!
Now we’re heading home and I’m ready to see our fur babies and then go shopping with one of my friends! My husband is going to go shooting with one of his friends, so I’m going to go have some fun of my own! Overall it’s been a nice weekend and reset after this hectic week at work, and I’m just going to enjoy the rest of the weekend off!
Had a vet visit this morning with our baby girl Mushu to check on her glucose levels (our diabetic queen). Her glucose is still high so we have to increase her insulin again, but she still is responding better than she was on the last insulin- we just gotta keep working on it until we can get the dose right!
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
I was very attached to my pink Nintendo DS. I always had it on me when I was hanging with my neighbor friends, using Pictochat and taking care of my Nintendogs. Eventually I got a bit older and had misplaced my DS for quite a while (I actually thought one of my friends stole it) and a couple years later I found it in an old tea set box of mine. I used it for a bit after that, but then decided to sell it to one of my coworkers who wanted it for his girlfriend! Honestly, to this day, I regret that decision. I wish I still had my DS and my original Nintendogs, but such is life LOL!
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
The concept sounds great if you have more blessings than stressings if you know what I mean LOL 😂
I had quite an overwhelming day at work, and when I got home it was a bit chaotic with bringing in the groceries while urgently having to use the bathroom. I am also a week out from my period so I’m starting my PMS moodiness and I’m just super stressed and exhausted. To be honest, it really felt like everything was too much.
My husband knows I’ve been stressed at work and he also saw how overstimulated I was. I was starting to unpack the groceries and he stopped me. He asked for a hug and held me, but honestly I was kind of being a jerk and wasn’t fully participating in this hug the way I normally would- I was sulking and just limp while he held me.
He told me to take off my shoes and go get out of my work clothes, but before he let me go change, he asked if I could give him a real hug, which I did this time. He thanked me and again instructed that I go get in some comfortable clothing and sit down for a bit. He also mentioned that our cat decided to take a “soupy poop” on our bed and that he was going to clean that up after he put away the groceries.
Although he told me that our cat decided to basically diarrhea on our bed, my brain was so frazzled and probably in freeze that it didn’t fully process. So of course I went into our bedroom and plopped down on the bed and ended up putting my arm right in nasty ass cat shit.
Yup. First every motherf*cking company in America changed which dental insurance they are offering to their employees keeping me busy as hell, but now this?! CAT SHIT ON MY ARM?! What a day, right? As expected, I fully crashed tf out: I screamed out loud to myself that I was a “FUCKING IDIOT” and ran to the bathroom to burn my arm off with scolding hot water and antibacterial soap.
My husband of course hears all of this commotion and asked what happened from the other room, to which I yelled: “I JUST LAID IN THE CAT SHIT” like the a demure girly I am. He came in the room as I was drying my arm off and asked me if I could please sit down while gently reminding me that I’m doing that thing where if I don’t stop, things are going to keep going wrong and getting worse. Arguably, he was correct: I really just needed to sit down…preferably not in feces.
He sat on our little, old bedroom couch with me and told me not to worry about cleaning the bed or putting away the groceries and to just stay put and re-center. He went to finish putting all of the food away, and I actually I did what he said. I sat. I got angry. I punched the air. I shook my body to try to get the anger out. I cried. I cried harder. I stopped to re-focus on my breath. Felt like I might puke. Didn’t puke. Cried more. Started softening my breathing again. Let my head lean into the big pillow I was holding onto. Let more tears fall. They stopped falling. I relaxed.
After actually sitting through probably five minutes of just letting my emotions rise and fall, I felt so much relief. My body felt less tense and much lighter, although still pretty exhausted as expected. My husband came back in to check on me and we just talked calmly about work and what I can/can’t control and when we were interrupted by the alarm to give our diabetic cat her insulin, he told me to go jump in the shower and he’d take care of her.
Now, I just need to take a moment to say; BLESS THIS MAN AND HIS ENTIRE SOUL. Don’t get me wrong, I literally always feel that way about him (that’s why tf I married him, duh), but in this moment after this wild ass day, I couldn’t help but feel so grateful for him and our marriage.
When I was a kid and I’d have reactions or loud emotions, I was called dramatic and shamed for them; my husband has never done that to me. Unfortunately, I actually still do that to myself sometimes, which is another reason why this moment felt so important: I actually let myself have all of my emotions with no judgement.
My husband has always loved me and been there for me through the best and worst times of my life over the last 14 years. I have never felt his love waiver, I have always felt respected, and I am truly so lucky and grateful to have such a wonderful human as my life partner. It’s so easy for me to love him, but it hadn’t always been easy to love myself. Over the years, his love for me has shown me that I am easy to love, and deserving of it, just for being me, and for that I am forever thankful.
finding light in the dark 