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How Would I Describe Myself to Someone?

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How would you describe yourself to someone?

I’m a complex human woman who feels everything very deeply: the pains and the joys all hit my brain, body and heart intensely.

I’m someone who craves genuine connection and gets overjoyed by the smallest synchronicities in life; yet I’m also someone who craves alone time, just chilling in my home in the presence of my fiancé and my cats.

I’m someone who cares deeply and is always rooting for everyone to be well-loved and happy. I want the best for everyone, including myself.

I’m a sensitive person with a variety of opinions that I cannot attach myself to as I am aware that we are ever evolving. I am someone who feels that living with an open mind and being empathetic is what humanity truly needs.

I laugh a lot. I cry a lot, luckily lately it has been tears of joy. I love the idea of healing and growing into the person I’ve always needed, and supporting others on their own journeys.

Full Moon Post

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I am so proud of myself for having hard conversations and speaking up even when it was uncomfortable. I am proud of putting my healing and goals ahead of my feelings, and actually stepping into my authentic self. I am proud of how dedicated I have been to the things I care most about: my relationship with my life partner, and my mental health. I can trust myself to follow through, and I can trust that I can get through anything. I choose faith over fear and I prioritize peace and love.

This full moon, I release any negative thoughts and self doubt that is limiting me from reaching my goals. I release the fears and worries that reside in my mind, as they were never mind to hold onto. I release the need for approval and for perfection, as I have had everything I’ve needed within me all along. I release what is no longer serving me or my authentic self, and I step into the person I am meant to be.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🌕✨

Cats

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Dogs or cats?

I’ve had cats my entire life, and my fiancé and I have three right now. We have thought about maybe having a dog in the future, but we’d prefer to have a large yard. Cats are waaaayyyy more low maintenance than dogs considering you don’t have to walk them outside, and when we have people come watch them, they don’t even technically have to come every day as long as the food and water is full! Cleaning litter definitely sucks, but also walking around and picking up poop outside doesn’t seem much better LOL.

idk

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My mind has been a bit chaotic the past week. Lots of triggers and emotions and realizations. Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs though, so I’m just having faith that all will work out for the best and how it should.

Choose Wisely

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What is sacred anymore?

What is intimate?

What is worth keeping in private?

Where is the discernment?

Does anyone keep anything to themselves anymore? To their closest loved ones?

Does anyone value having anything that is theirs, and only theirs?

Does every envious and evil eye have the right to see your most precious moments?

Does every judgmental person deserve your energy and attention?

Does everyone in your digital friends list meet the requirements to actually be a part of your life? To come into your home? To watch your kids?

Does every horny individual on your feed deserve to see your naked body? To look at you as an object? To assume you did this all for them?

Are the views and the likes worth it? The followers and possibility of going viral?

Does the external validation go far? Could you give yourself that validation without getting it from someone else?

Would you still like your posts if it was only for you and your loved ones? Would you be proud of your children doing and posting the same content?

In the worlds of real life and “reel” life, are you living in your values in both? Are you the same person both on and offline?

Everything in life is temporary, yet the content we post to the internet remains forever. It has become to normal to share every aspect of our lives online to both people we know and complete strangers… but just because something is normal, doesn’t mean it’s good.

In an age of being so “connected” through apps and technology, we are so far disconnected from ourselves.

We’ve become addicted to external validation to feed our unhealed wounds of unworthiness.

We’ve become addicted to the dopamine rush when we get a lot of views or engagement.

We’ve become addicted to our screens and “connecting” with others, while ignoring the real world around us.

And we can run around and say it isn’t our fault and blame everyone else, but it’s our responsibility now. We know now.

So sit with yourself, and ask:

What do you value most in this life? Are you living in your values?

What are you grateful for? Have you thought about how many blessings are around you on a daily basis?

What habits are you wishing to let go of? What habits have you been wanting to develop?

What do you do when you’re avoiding something else? Is this beneficial to you in anyway? Is this something you wish to continue?

We all get a little lost sometimes, but the important part is that we come back home to ourselves over and over again.

None of us get out of here alive. We deserve to live lives that we are proud of. We deserve lives that we will be grateful to look back on when we’re lying peacefully on our deathbeds.

You are in charge of you.

You get to decide who has access to your mind, to your body, and to your soul.

You get one life to live, and you are the one who chooses who and what you give your energy to.

Choose wisely.

Future

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What are you most excited about for the future?

When I look forward into the future, I’d have to say I’m most excited to start a family with my fiancé. I can imagine watching him transition into being a father and seeing how wonderful he will be with our kids. I see pajama dance parties and fun holiday traditions, all while having my favorite person on my team. As much as I look forward to those days, I am also happy to be exactly where we are. Right now we are enjoying our wedding season and the time that we have to dedicate solely to each other, prior to bringing children into this world.

Harmony=Letting Go

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What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

I’d let go of my initial judgements towards the lives and opinions I don’t understand. I’d let go of the stereotypical beliefs that were passed onto me from previous generations and i healed caregivers. Instead, I’d lean in with curiosity and empathy, as that is where connection is born and resolutions can be found. This is something I am working on, and likely will be for my entire life considering humans come with egos- but we also come with souls.

Music Genre

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What is your favorite genre of music?

I really enjoy newer R&B music, leaning more towards alternative R&B. Currently I love listening to Tems and according to google she’s considered to be alternative R&b mixed w/ Neo soul. I enjoy artists like SZA, Masego, Mahalia, Rubii, ENNY, SiR, Smino, Tobi Lou and Mariah the Scientist. Lately I’ve also been enjoying reggae and afropop/afrobeats which Tems also incorporates into her music, but you can listen to artists like WizKid and Omah Lay to get a better feel for that type of music. I’m all for a good beat and a chill vibe!

Vacation

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Describe your most memorable vacation.

I have been blessed to do a little bit of traveling over the years. My fiancé and I have gone on a few caribbean cruises together, and although those are packed with adventure and seeing many places, I’ll always remember our trip to Los Angeles.

I remember planning the trip and booking two different hotels so that we could see a couple main attentions while we enjoyed our long weekend. For the first hotel, we were close to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We got to go to the wax museum and for the first time I went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum. Mind you, I was 20 years old when this trip happened!

At our second hotel we stayed closer to Venice Beach. Our hotel was modern and had a bar attached, and I remember we got lucky one night and no one carded us! I ended up getting a few dirty shirley’s and I remember feeling so badass and free LOL!

We ended up renting bikes and rode down the Santa Monica Pier, and although this was probably my favorite date we ever had, I can’t help but remember when one of my contacts flew out of my eye and we had to uber back to the hotel to grab my spare one! I was so upset and panicky when in reality we had a solution- I just get triggered when things don’t go as planned.

At the end of our trip, we had enjoyed our time and the weather so much that we started looking at apartments about an hour outside of LA, but we never did end up making that big move. Looking back, I am really glad we ended up staying where we are, but I definitely want to take another trip there someday!