Author: hermagicalthoughts

Friday Feels

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Today was such an incredible day. My family from Iowa came out to visit and take me and my husband out for my birthday. They also blessed us with a very generous gift, and I’m beyond grateful for them. I feel just so grateful and lucky honestly, and I am just happy to be present to it all.

My husband and I also went over to visit his family at the farmer’s market! They have a barbecue business and they’re a vendor at the market every Friday, so we decided to stop by and say hi! When we were leaving the market, another vendor selling cute jewelry caught my eye, and I ended up getting a cute evil eye bracelet, ring, and a pair of snake earrings! It was 3 for $30 and I just happened to have $30 cash in my wallet!

Tomorrow I get to see some of my good friends as we all get together to celebrate my birthday!! We’re gonna go to the local fair and I can’t wait to get a funnel cake as my birthday cake! I’m not a huge cake fan, but I loooveee me some funnel cake so honestly I’m so excited for this! I’m also just excited to see all the people who make me happy and feel loved- it’s just the best feeling.

I also get to take a mini girls trip early next week to go see Glass Animals in concert and I am looking forward to that as well! I’m just feeling so blessed and happy to be living this life. I’ve healed enough that I am actually able to feel the love around me and truly be happy, and I am so grateful for that.

Chapter 30

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Another year around the sun, my 30th one

This one feels different; mature. demure.

30 feels more settled and peaceful

30 feels like confidence; like I’m actually more than enough

30 feels how I want it to feel, because I no longer aim to please everyone around me; my only goal is to be authentically myself.

I was never meant to be everyone’s cup of tea

Nor do I actually want to be

In reality, I just want to be me

And so, this is 30

When I Wake Up, I’ll Be 30

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Goodbye to my 20s

I accomplished so much in this past decade

My husband & I bought our home together

We grew in our careers

We got married

I went through a whirlwind of a mental health journey, and I’m still forever learning and evolving (as we all are)

I feel like so much abundance is on the horizon

Like I’m shedding these layers of programming

My inner critic is shrinking

My inner child is happy and growing

My inner compass is aligned

My inner knowing is strong

I always had the strength – I survived through everything in the last 3 decades

I survived when I was too young to know how to- my brain / amygdala knew how to though

I lived a lot of my life in survival mode, and within the last couple years I have finally been able to feel present- I’ve cried tears of joy over just being.

Just being.

And it’s crazy to think that maybe that’s the them of 30s… just being.

No pressure.

No people pleasing.

No perfectionism.

Just authenticity and honesty.

Just being.

Prompt

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What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Drinking alcohol every night of my life and getting belligerent on weekends- I decided I didn’t want to continue that. LOL so sorry that was definitely some dark humor, but also we didn’t really have traditions other than holiday stuff, and my husband and I don’t have kids yet so our traditions are our own for now!

Tuesday Thoughts

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• Everyone will judge you, even the people you love- do it anyways.

• If you’re ever staying quiet or small to “keep the peace”- ask who’s peace is it keeping?

• The worst that can happen is you die, and we all die- may as well live a life you enjoy!

• In any moment, you’re always younger than you’ll ever be again- what are you not doing bc you’re telling yourself you’re “too old?” Do it anyways.

Monday Mood

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Feeling extra tired today after the adventure we had yesterday. Mother nature also decided to pay me a visit last night, so that has added to the exhaustion. I worked for a while today and ended up leaving early, but it’s been nice to just rest at home.

Sunday

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My husband and I are on our way home after a fun day playing on a huge water obstacle course! Yesterday my husband suggested that we do something fun, and after looking online for a while, we decided on this! It was a much fun, but boy was it hella exercise LOL! I know we are gonna feel it tomorrow.

I’m so glad we went- not only because it was a fun date day, but also because I need to be prioritizing joy in this season of my life. I noticed yesterday after we booked it, and even this morning that I was having anxiety about it and feeling uneasy. I knew it was mainly because it’s not anything I’ve ever done before, but I still feel like part of me always tried to self-sabotage whenever I am doing something for myself.

The good news is that I noticed it early on today, and my husband was also very aware and making sure to check in on me and reassure me. I always feel bad that I tend to make our good days start out poorly just with my anxiety and control issues. I always feel like everything has to go perfectly, but my rigidness is worse than things just going awry on their own. I know this, and I know I need to give my perfectionist part of me love rather than shame.

Dear little perfectionist with me, you are allowed to relax. I know you had to make sure that all things were thought through, and I know that control makes you feel safe; the truth is that nothing is ever perfect, and you have not only survived all of those imperfect moments in your life- you thrived. No matter how much you overthink and over plan, all will happen exactly as it should, and you’ll always be able to handle it. You don’t have to be so uptight and rigid, in fact, you deserve rest and joy more than you know- I pray you open up to receive it.