Ctrl Alt Delete Social Media

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If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

When I read this, I definitely want to say smart phones and social media, because I feel that although they were both made for people to stay more “connected,” it actually has made us more disconnected with ourselves and each other.

Smart phones definitely keep us connected when we can call, text and/or facetime friends and family members. We are able to communicate and share photos and videos with each other, but also sometimes we do this when we are in the presence of other people.

How many times have you been out with a friend or a group and suddenly other people are just texting on their phone, or having a full blown conversation with someone else? Don’t get me wrong, there are situations where people need to be checking in or asking for something, but I’m talking about those times where it isn’t necessary and it actually just has you feeling like no one is present in the moment with you.

Social media was also made to stay in touch and see updates of people’s lives, but it has simultaneously created a lot more of comparison culture and this pressure to always post your best moments and memories for the world to see. People are always sharing the highlights and the best parts of life, and it can make people start to think that everyone has to live some extravagant life and be very rich in order to have happiness.

There are people that go into debt to have fancy events just for the social media pictures, or they put name brand bags on their credit cards just to be able to post and make it seem like they live a lavish life. Not to mention all of the emphasis on having the “perfect body” or “perfect face” which leads to the botox and fillers and surgeries that also cost hundreds to thousands of dollars.

And what is all of this for? To look good for other people? To have a better selfie? To feel as pretty as that one influencer looks in her post? Does she even look like that or did she use a filter or face-tune? Do the likes, views and followers actually fulfill your soul? Or are you craving deeper, authentic connections?

I feel like smart phones and social media have become more important to people than genuine conversation and communication. Some people post pictures with “friends” they don’t even like just because the collab gives more views (ex: Mom Tok/ Secret Lives of Mormon Wives). Some people post their “perfect relationship” when there’s actually abuse going on off screen (Gabby Petito, Shannan Watts). I know luckily that is not how everyone uses it, but it’s crazy how quick we are to believe false things, and social media perpetuates that culture.

I also understand the benefit of social media when it comes to business promotion, as it can help push products and business ideas. I also understand there are authentic people on social media as well, but overall I think we’d benefit as a society if social media was never invented. I think with social media, we’d be more connected to ourselves and one another, and I think in general humanity would be more authentic.

Lessons

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Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

If there’s anything I wish I would have learned or known earlier, it’s that I should be keeping my own peace, not everyone else’s. I didn’t need to stay sheltered away, hiding my true feelings and thoughts as a way to make sure I never made anyone else feel uncomfortable. I didn’t need to keep saying “yes” to things out that I really wanted to say “no” to, because a fake yes is really just a resentful one, and no one wants that either.

I wish I had recognized just how toxic “people-pleasing” was, because in reality, it’s manipulative and completely inauthentic. It makes so much sense to me now, and I see how avoiding potential conflict just delays having any sort of meaningful conversations and connections. I also see how wild it is to put so much on your plate to be “helpful” for others, just to burn out and feel resentful when, in reality, you didn’t have to help in the first place.

It’s much better to be open and honest if you want to create and true friendships/relationships. It’s important to be mindful and intentional with our words, and that does include saying how we feel and sharing our own opinions so that we can authentically connect with others. If you share your true self with someone and they don’t like it, now you both have the ability to decide if it is a relationship worth keeping.

I never needed to deny my own gut feelings or opinions, I have always been allowed to share them. I know in the past I struggled a lot more with self-worth, so it was much harder to deal with the thought of losing a friendship. Now, as I have been healing and learning more about myself, I’d rather have real friends who truly know and support the real me.

I know who I am and how much I care about others, and I know that my close connections deserve to know the real me. I now am able to say “no” to things without feeling guilty, I am able to express an opinion that could be rough to hear and not be worried or afraid, because I know I am being true to myself.

I am an open-minded person, and I am able to empathize, but I also have to have boundaries to remain healthy. It has been quite a journey, but I vow to myself that I will no longer dim my own light or make myself small for the sake of “keeping the peace.” Instead I will focus on keeping my own peace, and that means being completely honest and authentic.

Full Moon Post

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I am so proud of myself for having hard conversations and speaking up even when it was uncomfortable. I am proud of putting my healing and goals ahead of my feelings, and actually stepping into my authentic self. I am proud of how dedicated I have been to the things I care most about: my relationship with my life partner, and my mental health. I can trust myself to follow through, and I can trust that I can get through anything. I choose faith over fear and I prioritize peace and love.

This full moon, I release any negative thoughts and self doubt that is limiting me from reaching my goals. I release the fears and worries that reside in my mind, as they were never mind to hold onto. I release the need for approval and for perfection, as I have had everything I’ve needed within me all along. I release what is no longer serving me or my authentic self, and I step into the person I am meant to be.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🌕✨