Do you need time?

I need time, yet I despise time.

Why did we make up such a concept?

Time is a thief, yet time is all we know.

Endless ticking as years go by.

I need time to rest.

I need time to do.

I need time for all of the things in life that require time- so everything.

Time is of the essence, yet time is not real.

Time is such a weird thing.

What’s something you believe everyone should know.

That the more we heal ourselves and are able to view ourselves with love and grace, the more we can see the world and others the same way. Hurt people hurt people, and we all deserve to heal and care about ourselves so we can give that same care to others.

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

When I think of genie wishes, I just remember that you have to be very careful with your wording and be specific as possible, as they take your words literally. With that being said, my three wishes would be as follows:

1. I wish to live a long, healthy life with my husband where we both feel happy and fulfilled with each others love, and that we are able to have our own healthy children and create a loving family.
2. I wish that no one had the desire, thought or ability to abuse any infant/child in any capacity (mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally).
3. I wish for world peace in the sense that all humans recognize that we are indeed all humans who bleed red, and we no longer wish to harm and hate one another, but instead lean into curiosity and empathy to build a loving, peaceful world.

What is your favorite form of physical exercise?

I love going on walks! I also enjoy roller blading, although I don’t do it as much as I’d like. I am planning to get back to the rink soon!

What major historical events do you remember?

9/11/2001. I was 6 years old, sitting at the table at home working on my assignments (at the time I was home-schooled by my mom.) I remember her sitting in the living room listening to the radio and suddenly saying “what?!” and turning on the TV and seeing the second tower get hit. She was very visibly panicked and started making phone calls to family and friends. I don’t really remember a lot after that, whether I finished my assignments or not (I honestly probably did), but I will never forget that day.

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

Actually starting the podcast I have been talking about for years.

What have you been working on?

Working on letting go of control issues and leaning into faith.

Working on releasing my anger in healthier ways and not shaming myself.

Working on acknowledging and celebrating my progress.

Working on improving my mental health.

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

Unless they are close to me or have read my blog, I’d say most people didn’t know I was an only child who was being raised by functioning alcoholics.

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Now I am able to lean into the idea of resting and feeling restored, but back before I ever started my healing journey I would go through downward spirals about feeling unproductive. I would start bashing on myself about how I could have done x,y and z and just feeling so down about being lazy.

I remember reading a quote that really had me think about rest a different way: “If you don’t make time for rest, your body will do it for you.” Back when I was in the thick of my anxiety, I would even feel upset with myself if I was sick and resting. I feel very grateful that I have healed and improved my mental health, as now I can rest and feel like I am doing myself and my body a service.

I will say, having a few lazy days in a row is still a bit too much for me and I usually have to get up and start being productive.