What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
I’m probably most scared to get up on stage and do any sort of performance- whether that be comedy or motivational speaking or singing or slam poetry. All things I admire and respect, yet I have fear around it because I never feel good enough. I’d probably have to do a lot more healing, soul-searching and confidence boosting before doing anything like that. Unless one of my idols invited me to an event, I’d have to take that as a sign to step up to the plate.
I’d probably say that I complain the most about people. Mainly I am used to complaining about people at work who aren’t doing their jobs, but I recognize that complaining doesn’t help. This year I am at a new job, and the difference is that I am currently just observing and making notes and bringing this to the attention of my boss so we can try to come up with better processes. I also complain about people I know, but that is something I am actively working on this year, because I know I need to take accountability.
In general, this year I am working on discernment and speaking up. Instead of whining and complaining, this year I am focusing on solutions. This also applies to relationships with friends and family- instead of b*tching about someone’s behavior, I will take note and set boundaries where I see fit. If something does not have an effect on me, then I can take steps to remove myself and ignore. If something does bother me and affects me directly, it is my responsibility to speak up.
No one will ever know I am upset or bothered if I keep shoving it away, and honestly that hurts all parties in the end. It hurts me, because I am not expressing my needs or feelings, and it hurts them because I have basically been lying or hiding how I’ve actually been feeling. It may come as a shock to people when I actually start expressing my feelings, but it’s only fair to me to finally allow myself to trust in my feelings and advocate for myself.
No more fearing confrontation. No more people-pleasing. No more manipulating and invalidating my own feelings. No more whining and complaining about things that don’t impact me. No more faking niceness to “keep the peace” or to avoid hurting other people.
I am not responsible for other people’s feelings, I am responsible for mine. I would never go out of my way to be disrespectful, but I also will no longer tolerate being disrespected. I deserve better, and I will do better.
I’ve never really been into watching playing sports, but I do remember as a child I enjoyed watching the synchronized diving in Olympics. I also liked watching ice skating, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that I loved to go to the ice rink with my friends.
I currently know I enjoy roller blading but I don’t do it often and it’s not something I think I’d ever get into competitively, but I do enjoy how free I feel when I’m just rolling around with the wind in my hair!
If I won the lottery I would first of all thank source/universe/God because literally what are the odds. My fiancé and I would immediately pay off our credit cards and our townhome, and likely our cars unless we decide to be boujee and turn them in for something better, but make sure we pay in cash to have no car note. Since we are engaged we will also continue with our current wedding plan but may splurge on a honeymoon to Japan + the Philippines. Also, I think we’d get a lawyer or something involved or just call Dave Ramsey to talk about our best options and likely wouldn’t tell anyone about it for a little while.
Once we have our stuff paid off then we can look into investment properties, preferably dope air b&bs to rent short term and for us to stay at when we want to travel. We’d stay in our paid off townhome for a bit, make upgrades to it while building dream home! Dream home would be at least 4 bedroom, 3 bath, and would include a basement, a sauna, a meditation/sun room, a whiskey/library room, a pool and hot tub, and at least a 4 car garage with a heated driveway if we’re still in the midwest.
We’d definitely put huge chunks of change into some high-yield savings accounts and once we feel like we did what we needed to do, now we can revisit and start helping out our family. Pay off his parents’ house and cars if they have any car notes, and pay my parents rent for a couple years or so and maybe give each set of parents a good sum to put in their own high-yield savings accounts. Also we’d probably pay off his brother’s car as well.
Depending on how much the lottery is, we’d probably still work unless we decide to set up our own business and get those going, and we’d probably help his parents with their businesses they’re trying to start as well. It’s wild to think about winning such a huge chunk of money, and it’s even more wild to think about how it actually ruins people’s lives. I pray that if we do win one day, we are smart about it and we only make improvements to our lives and the ones around us.
From Dark to Light 