Do you remember life before the internet?
I don’t really remember life before the internet considering my parents got a computer when I was seven years old. Actually, I was apparently gifted this computer on my birthday by my dad’s cousin, but my dad lied and said it was for him and that he’d let me play games on it.
I did get to play games and use Word Paint LOL, but ultimately I don’t remember a lot of my childhood so I can’t say I remember life before the internet. I will say that I’m sure my dad was a lot more present as a parent without the computer, because a lot of my childhood that I do remember, he was sitting there in front of the computer screen.
It reminds me of how I use my phone now. I don’t have children currently, but I’ve always been mindful to the fact that when I have children, I don’t want them to feel like I’m always on my phone. I honestly think I’d just get off social media completely once I have a child, mainly because I also don’t want my future child(ren) on social media.
I am someone who uses the internet a lot. Most of us have to use it in some way for our jobs, we’re connected to it on our phones, we use it to order things of Amazon or groceries- it kind of seems like a basic necessity in our current society. However, I do feel that somehow the more “connected” we are online and/or to our devices, the less we are actually connecting with one another. We’re trading genuine conversations for likes and views from people on the internet.
Have you ever had an experience where you are out with family or friends and someone or some people start scrolling on their phones or start texting? Has that happened when you were directly talking with them? I understand we all have to be able to have our phones to check incase of emergencies, to be in contact with family/friends/babysitters etc- but to be interrupted from a genuine conversation for a random snapchat or an IG notification?
In that moment, in real life, that feels like a loss of connection. Another example that can feel like a disconnection: finding out important news about your close family and friends on social media, instead of from them directly. I value my friendships and I personally would rather talk to my friend in person and share a celebratory moment with them privately than to post to random strangers internet about something near and dear to my heart.
Maybe I’m old school, but I kind of feel like I would have enjoyed life before the internet. I’ll be 30 in July, so most of my life really did involve being on the internet. I feel like I’m definitely dependent on it now, but I also know that humans have lived without the internet for centuries, and they all survived. In fact, they probably thrived with less mental health issues and more genuine connections! LOL
From Dark to Light 
The Internet made a lot of things more simple and easier, and it opened a new way of communication, but it also made some things worse. Our attention gets distracted too easily and we are often not present, but instead we check our phones and social networks too often. I had a situation where I was hanging out with a friend who I haven’t seen in a year and he was texting all the time and that really annoyed me and I told him that. It is a loss of connection, as you said. And childhoods without the internet are much better, I experienced one so I know what I’m saying. And it’s still possible, I have a friend who has a six year old kid who doesn’t own a phone, and he hangs out with him in nature, and the kid plays with other kids in the kindergarten.
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I’m not sure how I missed this comment- but I appreciate you reading & sharing that! It is so hard to experience those disconnections and I’m glad you spoke up about it! It’s important to communicate our needs and boundaries. I am also glad to see people still trying to give their children childhoods without technology! Research in psychology / neuroscience shows how important it is to avoid screens for the early years, yet everyone is so reliant on them now that it’s easier to ignore that & just give in. I pray I’m able to be a mother one day, and obviously I could change my mind on certain things, but I can’t imagine I’ll go back on no tablets/technology until at least 5 (since it seems most kindergarteners get chrome books now). Ideally I’ll go even longer, but who knows what the future holds. I just know I personally want to be very present for my future children, which means less social media if any at all.
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It is really bad to expose children younger than three years to social media and smartphones. I know a parent with a daughter who’s 12 and still doesn’t own a phone, but she uses her mother’s. It is possible to raise kids without exposing them to the internet too much while they’re still young, but it is hard, that’s true. Sadly, some parents aren’t aware of the demage the phones do to their infants so they give them phones since very early age.
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I agree and have heard about no screens until after 3. Even when it’s educational, you as the parent can utilize the screen and tools to mimicking Miss Rachel or whoever you’re watching, but the child should be looking at you, not the screen. I had a cellphone at 10, but it was a Nokia, so not one that could connect to internet. My parents had to add minutes to my phone and it was just to be able to communicate with them when I’d get on and off the bus. I understand wanting to be able to be in contact with your kids, but you can still do it without social media / internet
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Exactly so, but it’s hard if all other kids have access to the internet, you might harm your child’s social life if you prevent it from having a phone. My nephews have phones, but they’re older, my youngest nephew is 12. But you can keep them off the internet (maybe not totally, but you can significantly) until they’re going to school.
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it’s definitely impossible to shelter them from everything, especially if they’re going to school and participating in society. I know parenthood will be the hardest, yet most rewarding journey if my husband and I are able to do so. it’s a lot of learning and unlearning and I can only imagine how hard it is.
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